Baby cries on and off all day. He has a few brief happy patches but mostly he cries and grizzles. He's 3months. This morning he screamed for 4hours without a break, after the first hour I was sobbing too. I get so angry and frustrated and desperate. Think it was reflux/colic as he kept vomiting curdled milk. I walked round the house with him in sling until my back hurt, cuddled him, rocked him, bathed him, fed him, tried to put him in cot, changed nappyx3, nothing worked he was just screaming and thrashing and scratching me and headbutting. I got scared as he cried so hard he started coughing. It's the same in evenings, hours of screaming and crying (GP said its colic/reflux but meds haven't helped). Everyone said it would improve by 3months but it hasn't.
I love DS intensely but get so upset with the endless crying. DH works long hours isn't home till around 8pm.
I try to get out every other day as he likes being in sling and usually sleeps when we're out, but it takes so long to get ready we often stay in. When he's crying I can't eat/shower/get ready/dress him and all the baby groups are in morning.
My NCT group are great but I put on a brace face and they assume I'm coping. I always dress nicely and wear make-up to go out but inside I feel like I'm at breaking point.
DH helps a bit in evenings but he has a very stressful tiring job so I try not to burden him or thrust crying baby on him straight away. I have little energy to cook so he gets ready-meals for dinner most nights.
DH says he needs home to be his 'happy place' which I understand but I'm struggling to make it a happy place and cry all the time. He always helps if asked but I feel bad asking him and feel like I should be coping. He thinks he does 'more than most dads' though he doesn't know any other dads so nothing to compare. He says I'm a SAHP while on Mat leave and therefore my job is not just caring for baby but running the household and looking after him. I so want to be a good wife and mother but feel like I'm failing. I can never get on top of housework or laundry and he has to do his own ironing and always runs out of clean shirts because I have a back-log of baby stuff. Even the Xmas decorating is half finished.
My back hurts all the time and I feel sick every eve.
DH will take DS to give me a break but I feel I have to take him back when he cries as DH has been at work all day. I think he thinks I have a great life as he comments how he would love to go to baby yoga and meet up with friends for coffee.
Please tell me it will get easier soon? Everyone said 3months is the turning point but I feel like it's just getting harder :-(
Sorry for the rant.
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In a dark place :-(
77 replies
winterlake · 10/12/2015 16:14
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