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So - if someone said they were hard up - would you believe them even if they had an "expensive"; pushchair.......

(97 Posts)
TheQueenOfQuotes Sat 25-Aug-07 13:42:42

or perhaps a brand new car???

Just sparked by another thread btw.

You see I'm sure some people must look at us and think "they can't be hard up" - after all we have a virtually brand new car (was brand new when we bought it) and a rather nice pushchair (Hauck) - would you look at me and think "they're not hard up they don't know the meaning of the word".....or what?

You see - the Hauck came about as we qualified for the SureStart Maternity grand and given taht we had virtually everything else we needed we decided to splash out on a decent on.

The brand new car came about because 2yrs DH needed a car for his work (he still does - same job) - and the repayments on a brand new car worked out cheaper than the payments on the 2nd hand car we had!

I must say I do get a little fed up of people judging "books by their covers" so to speak and I just wondered if this was a common thing or whether people realise that there is other stuff behind it.

BTW - I'm not talking about people who say they're hard up and then jet off to the Caribbean for their holidays grin

TheQueenOfQuotes Sat 25-Aug-07 13:44:27

and now I'm going to be a right royal PITA and b*gger off to do some housework and shall return later to see the replies grin

fawkeoff Sat 25-Aug-07 13:47:36

i know how you feel....i have a quinny and we have just got a new car on finance because it was costing a fortune a month on repairs, but we are not flush.....far from it actually, yet dp sister always has something to say about us because we seem to be financially better off, but she has door to door loans for absolutely everything so its her hard shit

belgo Sat 25-Aug-07 13:50:13

I have a friend who is always complaining she has no money. She has no money because she buys the best of everything for her child, and all the lastest electronic gadgets.

A colleage of dh complains he has no money. He's just bought a jacuzzi for his househmm

snowwonder Sat 25-Aug-07 13:50:40

well i was very hard up with dd1

but my parents bought me the pram i wanted, and cot i wanted....

I am still a lone parent have a brand new car every 3 years thanks to my job... (darent leave my job as would have no car)

to be honest though if i was meaga hard up and someone offered gave me £400 i wouldnt spend it all on a pram i am much better with money now and i wouldnt think it nessarcary to have the trendiest pram- but you live and learn and everyone is different... (thank goddness) if thats the pram you want then no problem it is all about choice....

could have been a pressie or won in a competition, bought second hand etc etc

sparklygothkat Sat 25-Aug-07 13:51:25

We are on benifits, but have a brand new car (motability car) and I have brought a Silver cross 3d for the baby (actually 2nd hand from a Mnetter) and I know people wonder how I can have a brand new car. I just ignore them

belgo Sat 25-Aug-07 13:52:40

It depends on how often you use the pram. I have a crappy pram and am trying to justify to my dh that I need a good pram because I walk everywhere and we don't own a car (he has a company car).

My neighbours have the best pram ever but still go everywhere by carenvy

fawkeoff Sat 25-Aug-07 13:52:46

to be honest i dont really give a rats arse what people think about me and the things ive got, its all to do with the green eyed monster

TheQueenOfQuotes Sat 25-Aug-07 13:53:51

snow - it's not about the trendiest pram though - it does what I need it to do. The carrycot doulbed as a mosesbasket for the first few weeks. He's now onto the "pushchair" part of it, the car seat was also needed (and came as part of the package), it has a big enough basket for me to do my shopping (I walk everywhere as I don't drive) and adjustable handle so DH doesn't kill his back pushing it.

We went to Kiddicare and spent 4hrs (literally) walking around trying out practically every pram/pushchair that they had (DS1's and 2 were practically tearing the place down by the time we'd decided - and then we had to buy a few other smaller bits and pieces).

If I'd gone for the pushchair I really wanted I would have got a Bugaboo blush.

MadLabOwner Sat 25-Aug-07 13:53:58

Agree with you on this one - I hope I wouldn't judge the financial status of others by their possessions. A couple of times we have been really really skint because we had just bought a house that took everything we had - but I wouldn't expect any sympathy for this!

Just now we have an expensive quinny and car seat with base etc, but this was all bought before DD was born, and as I'm not going back to work now, we are skint, but surrounded by decent bits of baby kit etc. Must look odd, now I've thought about it.

QueenofBleach Sat 25-Aug-07 13:54:24

Definitely know how you feel, we don't go out much at all and spend carefully throughout the year so we can have a weekend break without dd in winter, cheap city breaks and a holiday with her in June. My mother was very generous and bourght most of DD's stuff that she needed when born, cot, pushchair, etc and jus breathing a huge sigh of relief that the tax credits have come through for her nursery. Running a seasonal business means that money is tight in winter and I get organised for christmas early.

snowwonder Sat 25-Aug-07 13:54:51

yeah you have to learn to not really care what others think

also hard up means different things to differnt people....

My friend who is newly divorced says she is hard up....... yet this year has had new bathroom, new carpet, new doors etc...
when she says she is hard up i think she is compared to what she was used to having with her husband... everyones idea of hardup is different.....

Budababe Sat 25-Aug-07 13:55:38

I don't really think abut it TBH. Most of my friends are relatively comfortable but some aren't. My sisters aren't and they complain about each other. One sis would never buy a brand new car but the other did. It's just different choices in my view.

charliecat Sat 25-Aug-07 13:56:27

I havent had any money for 3 months. Since I split with xp. Yet I have a car outside and ive just came back from Longleat on holiday.
Xp paid for holiday/food/everything. Car hasnt needed anything done with it and ive only put £30 in it since the summer hols started. Ive used all my savings and am just about to hit dire straights.
Dont look it though...will do when the kids go back to school in last years shoes, and im walking back 4 miles to save on petrol.

TheQueenOfQuotes Sat 25-Aug-07 13:56:28

ah there you are you see belgo - apart from the weekends my pram goes out almost every single day without fail. And I tend to load it (with the aid of those "buggy clip" things) with a weeks worth of shopping once a week too - so had to be strong LOL.

The carseat on the other hand has only been used once when bringing him home from the hospital 3 months ago (actually I think perhaps twice - but I can't remember where the 2nd time was).

Chirpygirl Sat 25-Aug-07 13:58:15

Not at all, I'd either think they got the Sure Start Grant (as you did!) and just had a lot of repayments on their car.

I know exactly what you mean though as people always think we are better off than we are as we have a classic prestige car (it's a Jaguar) but it's really old and it's falling apart underneath, when we bought it it cost about half of a used 'normal' family car, we just know where to buy from.
(Plus it looks cool!)

So we get judged all the time from that!

snowwonder Sat 25-Aug-07 13:58:19

as long as you are happy with it dont worry about what others think

maybe my £400 was over the top or under i dont know how much they cost nowdays.....

i agree with your op. maybe i worded it wrong

fawkeoff Sat 25-Aug-07 13:59:50

does anybody really have to justify themselves because of what other ppl might think??????.

TheQueenOfQuotes Sat 25-Aug-07 14:02:14

oh definitely under £400 LOL.

DanielJohnston Sat 25-Aug-07 14:07:49

It depends, I never usually believe people when they say they are hard up. I know one person who says she is skint and I've had to cough up for lunch for her before now. But she has a plasma telly, 2 cars, 2 pc's hooked up to the internet etc. My dh says that if they are that hard up they can sell a few things.

Isababel Sat 25-Aug-07 14:07:51

I was just trying to find the words to say what Fawkeoff has said...

When I'm skint I don't feel the need to anounce it (nor the shame either), therefore no need to justify expensive purchases at all.

Isababel Sat 25-Aug-07 14:09:19

Not that I feel ashamed of being skint either, as EVERY ONE OF US is skint in some way or another. "Skintness" is relative

fawkeoff Sat 25-Aug-07 14:11:34

exactly isabel.

TheQueenOfQuotes Sat 25-Aug-07 14:30:53

"But she has a plasma telly, 2 cars, 2 pc's hooked up to the internet etc. My dh says that if they are that hard up they can sell a few things."

In other words you think that if someone has "nice" possessions and say they're skint then they're lying???

Perhaps their computers are like ours - and would be worth b*gger all if they wanted to sell them (we need a new computer as ours has to be left on permanently or it risks not being able to be switched back on again shock) - I suggest selling this one (even before this problem started occuring - and it turns out we'd be lucky to give it away on Freecycle let alone make any money on it.

The cars - perhaps they're needed for work - my DH HAS to have a car for his job. If he didn't have a car - then he couldn't do his job end of story.

When we were really skint 2yrs ago (things are tight this month but nothing like 2yrs ago) from the outside ours probably looked like an ideal "world" - we'd bought a lovely house 1yr before, have a large TV (which I think is now dying as it's got "blotches" in the pictures in various places lol), brand new car, well dressed (well by local standards - no designer labels wink) children, computer, internet access etc etc.

Oh sod it - I'm not really sure why I'm going into all this detail (well actually I do - it's keeping me from housework and children duties LOL) - bascially we'd got the things we had before we became skint (they weren't the reason for it though), and even if we'd sold everything we owned it still wouldn't have got us out of the financial mess we were in!

Right must go - DS3 awake.

EscapeFrom Sat 25-Aug-07 14:35:26

I have a lovely expensive looking (well it was until I wrecked it!) pushchair, but I bought it for £35 from a charity shop. Sometimes skint people who have nice things are just extremely good at finding nice things at a low price!

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