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Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum.

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Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum.

Nurseries

nursery closes at 6, not home til 7...

82 replies

sazza1970 · 08/02/2009 14:27

Hi all

I'm a first time mum-to-be, and thinking about childcare already as our financial situation means I'll have to return to work when the baby is six months old. I'm looking into nurseries at the moment, but they all shut at 5.30-6pm, and the very earliest I can be home is 7pm. What happens in this situation? Do any nurseries offer extra care, for an additional fee? Or would I have to find someone else - a childminder, as parents live out of london - to pick up the baby? All feels very daunting, and I really don't know how others cope in this situation. Any advice gratefully received - I live in Crouch End, London, by the way.

OP posts:

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spicemonster · 08/02/2009 14:30

Can you change your hours? Work from home? I found it it really difficult to find anyone to look after my DS past 6pm. Or how about a nanny? What time would you be wanting care from in the morning?

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seeker · 08/02/2009 14:34

I know you don;t need anyone to tell you this, but that's a very long day for a young baby. Is there any way you can change your working day, do some work from home - anything? Care after 6.00 is likely to be very expensive - any you have to think about transport problems - what if you're train's late, or something like that?

Could you you nanny share?

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sazza1970 · 08/02/2009 14:34

I don't think I'd be able to afford a nanny full time - but I could look into part-time nannies in case they let me change from full to part time. I need to leave at 8.30. THanks for help!

OP posts:

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sazza1970 · 08/02/2009 14:35

Hi seeker - how do you find out about a nanny share?

OP posts:

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UniS · 08/02/2009 20:51

Are you able to look at nurseries near work. so you or partner pick up at end of work day rather than when you get home?
Dh does our drop off and collect, he works next door to nursery, so boy does 8.30-5.30 .They leave home 8am and returning home 6pm. I also leave 8ish going the opposite way, also finish at 5.30ish and get home for 6. By working a few long days I don't have to work so many days to do the hours.

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purepurple · 09/02/2009 11:37

gosh, poor you, what long hours! Please reconsider your plans as these hours are sooo long for any child. can you not do part time? Or share drop off and pick up with your partner? As someone who works in a nursery i see the effects of full time care on children, who do really long hours. and it does affect them you know. It affects their behaviour, their ability to fight infection and even their growth and development, to a certain degree.

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stealthsquiggle · 09/02/2009 11:54

Is that a long commute or long hours? If the former, then I would look at nurseries close to work IIWY - otherwise I think you may have to look at part time hours as evening care will be expensive however you do it.

(BTW my DS did 8-6 5 days/week from 4 months - my DD now does 9-5 4 days/week and I have not seen any difference in behaviour, growth, development or health, FWIW - purepurple that is a very sweeping statement to make)

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purepurple · 09/02/2009 12:15

that statement was made based on 20 years experienc working with pre-school children. On average 30 children a year, so thats about 600 and I have seen first hand the effects of long hours at nursery on children.

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pagwatch · 09/02/2009 12:24

when DH and i were in this situation we took it in turns. One day I went in to work early and he dropped off and i would leave work early to collect on time so he could work later. then we swopped.
We were lucky because our employers both wanted to keep us but it was tough as we spent week days effectively apart. But we kept our DS's nursery day as short as possible whilst doing the time we needed to at work to keep our careers on track.

We eventually had to change to a nanny as it was killing us...

( sorry - not very positive but twas the price of having city specific jobs and need to commute)

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sameagain · 09/02/2009 12:27

purple - if you feel full-time nursery is so bad for children, how you you reconcile that with taking your living from it?

FWIW, I would do everything in my power to avoid putting a baby in nursery for so long too, mainly becuase I would feel I was missing out.

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TrulyMadBadandDeeply · 09/02/2009 12:31

I used to have a job which meant being at work until 6pm and getting home at 7pm. We used a nursery very close to work, as it meant we could be there very soon after 6pm. No nursery that I know of has been open after about 6/6.15pm because by then the staff are (understandably) itching to get home and put their feet up.

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GrapefruitMoon · 09/02/2009 12:34

Are you sure they all shut that early? I live just outside London and 6.30-6.45 seems to be the norm here - lots of parents do commute into London but it is a short train journey (probably quicker than getting the tube to Crouch End). And lots of parents are able to arrange work as pagwatch does.

However, if both parents are unable to leave work to be back in time your only option really will be to get a nanny - most childminders won't have children after 6 either.

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giantkatestacks · 09/02/2009 12:35

we do/are about to do again the same as Pagwatch and UniS - one parent does early/early and one does late/late. If you're a single parent then I'm not sure what you would do but your OP says 'our' so I presume not.

Can one of you not do whats suggested above? TBH this is just one of those times that someones job has to give and you need to work out who's it will be if you cant both work more flexibly - sorry if thats not very helpful.

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stickybeaker · 09/02/2009 12:39

The nursery my DD was in was based at a hospital and was open 7-7 but you couldn't leave them more than 10 hours.

Just to reiterate many other people's points - that's a really long day for everyone. My DD is 1 and she's still in bed by 6pm even now. I can't imagine getting home at 7 then doing bath, bottle and bedtime routine before starting my own dinner etc...

Do you need to take a step back and look at how to better accommodate the baby? Even if this means changing jobs/moving house etc. I know this must be hard for you but have a really good think about what life will look like once the baby is born (he/she may still not be sleeping through the night so would you be safe doing that length day & commuting if you're tired?)

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basementbear · 09/02/2009 12:40

Could you nanny-share with someone else? Agree with what's already been said about finding a nursery near to your work too - I live in central London and know a lot of parents who commute in and send their DCs to nurseries and schools near their offices.

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preggersplayspop · 09/02/2009 12:40

purepurple, how do you know its the long hours that affects their behaviour, growth etc? How do you know its not the food they eat, the type and amount of telly they watch, the age and sex of their siblings, the way their parents interact with them, their genetics or dozens of other things? Its not a very scientific conclusion.

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giantkatestacks · 09/02/2009 12:43

basementbear - I cant think of anything worse than commuting with a 6 month old baby.

I feel as if I'm being really crochety and dont mean to be at all but I dont think this is really a solution either as you'd still both get home at 7pm as stickybeaker says.

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preggersplayspop · 09/02/2009 12:55

I agree with giantkatestacks, commuting with a baby in London would be horrible. Its pretty ruthless at the best of times.

My DS is knackered by the end of the day, I drop him at 8am and pick up at just after 5 normally. I like to have some time with him in the evenings to play together and cuddle. If you pick up at 7 he'll be ready for bed and you will barely see him during the week. Can you ask for your working day to be more flexible? is it possible to work from home in the evenings if you can't reduce the hours?

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sameagain · 09/02/2009 12:57

Can you start and finish earlier?

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gemmummy · 09/02/2009 13:00

pure purple.....i'm sure the op would love to work less but as i keep saying...SHE MAY NOT HAVE A CHOICE! Sheesh, some people. She clearly states it's because of her financial situation that she has to go back to work...some of us do you know! I don't think long days at nursery are that bad, my son manages and he's a happy boy with no developmental worries. Think you've made a very sweeping and unhelpful statement.

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purepurple · 09/02/2009 13:00

i am not very scientific at all, but I just compare the full time children who are here all day every day with the children who are part time and the difference is obvious to me. And at the tender age of 41 I have just started full time work in September. Being part time for childcare reasons. I work 40 hours a week now and some children spend longer at the nursery than I do, which can't be good for them.Obviously some children cope better than others but some don't have any days off except bank holidays when the nursery is closed.I think it's an easy trap to fall into, the nursery fees will need paying if the child attends or not. It's a case of "I've paid for it so I'm going to send them" It is very easy to forget children's needs should come first.

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anniemac · 09/02/2009 13:03

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paddingtonbore · 09/02/2009 13:04

do keep looking for nurseries with different hours. my old London nursery was open 7.30 to 7pm, to allow either an early drop or a late pick-up (no babies were there for the whole time!).

I chose a nursery half-way between home and work, as do many. is there a mid-point to which you can drive, or leave the car. Also a rush-hour commute is just about doable with a baby if you stick to the bus.

But ultimately I agree with the others that you might have to shorten your office time somehow, whether that's by reducing your hours just a tiny bit (0.85 WTE), starting earlier, stopping unpaid overtime (I chose this route ), or taking a bit of work home with you in the evenings. I work on-call once weekly, and have to ensure either DH or MIL can do the nursery run on those evenings.

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giantkatestacks · 09/02/2009 13:05

gemmummy - at the risk of getting flamed I think most of us have a choice. We have all chosen the mortgages we have/rents we pay/lifestyle we have.

I think its different for example if only one partner is working and is in a minimum wage job but this isnt the case here is it.

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Monkeytrousers · 09/02/2009 13:16

Six months old is very young for full time nursery. It can be very traumatic for everyone involved.

I know you need to think about money, but don't also neglect to give yourselves other options. Whether your child settles at nursery is not a given - it will also debend on their temperment abd you need to gauge this.

I you are set on going back to work so soon, then I would recommend getting yoru child securely attached to you while also getting used to the idea that he can be left with carers and that you will always come back. If the baby just doesn't comply, you might find that you would rather downsize your life rather than put yoruself and your child through such a trauma.

Above all though, whatever you decide, give your child as much attention when you are with them that you can. If the child is secuely attached, then it will minimise any long term emotional risks. No one can call it though as it's very much down to your childs individual personality.