Hi everyone, I am new to mumsnet and I am hoping to hear from anyone who can advise me, give there point of view or just symphathise with me (in a similar situation) on a very difficult decision I have been contemplating for a while. But I am scared it might not be the right one?
So here goes, I have lived in France 7 years, I am 40yrs old and have 2 children 9 and 7. I was a stay at home mum keeping myself busy with raising the children and learning the language. My husband helped create a confortable lifestyle for us working as a structural engineer and has set up his own company working from home. We were tenants and did not own our own home. Gradually with the move, raising the children and feeling increasingly isolated with the language barrier, I started to have problems with my health, sufferering from bouts of depression and anxiety etc. Which eventually took its toll on our marriage, communication became difficult and my husband could no longer cope with my unhappiness. In desparation I tried to convince him we needed counselling but after one appointment it ended in disaster.
It all came to an end Jan 2013 when I filed for divorce out of anger and hurt. I didn't want to divorce but I felt my hand was being forced, as my husband did not want to save our marriage. Its been 9 months now since we have separated legally with joint custody of our kids, but as time has passed, I have become more isolated and now suffer badly with anxiety worrying about the future. I can no longer cope with day to day life and looking after my kids. I have no friends or support here and yet I am supposed to be actively seeking work in order to maintain social security benefits etc on top of the pension alimentaire (maintenance). This is just stresses me out even more and I am locked in a viscious cycle. I feel incapable of doing anything right now and I think the best thing for me is to limp home back to my parents so I can sort out my life. But want pains me so much is how it will affect my children? I can't take them with me but I feel like I will be abandoning them. I have made my feelings clear wih my husband but he doesn't want me to go for the sake of the kids. He is a good dad and has proved he can do the parenting by himself and he is in a better position than me to care for them. I am utterly lost and so anxious I don't know what to do?! I hope this post is coherent and I look forward to any helpful replies! Thanks in ernest!
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Separated from my French husband, joint custody of kids and I want to move back to the UK.
63 replies
AnxiousinFrance · 13/01/2014 20:15
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