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Cherry waves hello to November 2019. Fledgling Flylady thread for all.[smile]

(814 Posts)
Ghoulette1740 Wed 30-Oct-19 14:42:30

Welcome to the November Flylady thread Fledglings! All are welcome here. A few of us have been around a while but everyone, newbie and lurking, is welcome to join in.

This is my first time running the thread so I hope other fledglings will alert me when I’ve got things confused or if I’ve left something out!! A busy month for us all with the holiday season looming next month…

Very simply Flylady is a zone-based cleaning system which we loosely follow. Everyone is different and has different rooms and life demands. There are five zones and at the beginning and the end of the month we usually straddle Zone 1 and zone 5.
(amend rooms to suit your house – I do the living and dining room together as it’s all one room in my house)
November
Zone 1 Hall, entrance/dining room (Fri 1 – Sat 2)
Zone 2 Kitchen (Sun 3- Sat 9)
Zone 3 Bathroom and another room (Sun 10- Sat 16)
Zone 4 Master bedroom/closet (Sun 17 – sat 23)
Zone 5 Living room (Sun 24 – Sat 30)

Pop onto the Flylady website to have a closer look but signing up for emails will probably lead to very many landing in your inbox. Also there has been some concern about securely downloading pdfs from the site. here

Flylady has an introductory scheme for newbies called Babysteps which is a light 31 day introduction to the system – dressing to shoes, shining your sink etc. What I like about Flylady is her emphasis on self care, her abhorrence of perfectionism and her adage that you’re never being behind in the system - just jump in. No need to completely clean your house before you start – phew! here

There is a morning routine and an evening routine to keep things ticking over and a weekly home cleaning hour to change bed sheets, mop, hoover, take out rubbish etc. The system isn’t brilliant for major decluttering so you might want to supplement with Kondo or another decluttering system. Flylady doesn’t want us cleaning all day so she is very keen on using a timer. Clean then stop!
In addition each day has a purpose: see the daily focus here

Monday: Weekly home cleaning hour (can be split into ten minute sections and spread over week) here
Tuesday: Plan and play (Menu planning, family event planning)
Wednesday: Anti-procrastination day
Thursday: Errand day
Friday: Clear out bags, fill car with petrol, date night
Saturday: Family fun
Sunday: Lift your spirit

Launch pad for guidance every day! launch pad

Habit of the month of November is meal planning. This is my Achilles heel! here

We have a lovely virtual naughty corner where we can all retreat – there are all manner of lovely things left there by thread members including fluffy pillows, warm blankets, tea, coffee, wine, delicious foods. This month there are plenty of candles to brighten the darker days.
There may be mention of Ned who started life as an autocorrection on the thread but who has now morphed into a virtual helper with a specialism in putting away laundry. Ned is borrowed by thread members from time to time when the going gets tough on Mount Washmore.
Most days we pop on to post our ta da list of what we’ve managed to do and have a bit of a natter.

Stilllivinginazoo Tue 12-Nov-19 07:11:17

Dd2 won't get up
I've retreated before I lose my temper
I will return with ice cold water at 730 and flick that at her.she then has 15 minutes to present lunchbox for filling,get dressed,poss eat then leave....

Lil zoo has doctors today for tummy

IVEgotthesparklersBIATCH Tue 12-Nov-19 07:16:29

zoo brew

I got up when the baby woke at 5ish with intentions of "doing a zoo" so far ive watched emmerdale, eaten some chocolate, fed the baby and had a brew....

Stilllivinginazoo Tue 12-Nov-19 07:28:55

Works for me I've.today I'm cold and CBA.ive sat on MN an hour and half,fed cats,wash on...
She's still not up
<Don's tinhat for fall out>
<Heads upstairs cup cold water ready flick her face with>
BRACE FOR ROAR OF ANGRY TEEN PLEASE PEOPLE

Tidyhomewannabe Tue 12-Nov-19 07:44:08

Good luck zoo! Nothing quite like the wrath of a teenage girl brewwinecake

Ive this is why I gave up getting up at 530 - I never actually achieved much and was a ratty mess by 5pm.

Ghoul the timer definitely works for me , especially on busy busy days !

Hungry that's a massive tada list star well done !

Tada
Everyone up, eaten, washed and neatly dressed (I'm sat with my coffee waiting to do everyone's hair)
Dishwasher emptied
Breakfast pots sorted
Lunches

Full day today, working while dd2 is at nursery, then taking my friend and mum to the hospital, popping to Tesco on the way back (apparently they have 2 for £60 on switch games) , I'm also picking my friends daughter up from school and keeping her till her dad gets home, dd1 & ds have football and dancing this evening so I'll be embracing the 5 minute timer today to get a few bits done in between the chaos. Decided on an easy jacket potato and beans for tea, at least I can cut out the time spent in the kitchen smile

Catch you all later !

Stilllivinginazoo Tue 12-Nov-19 08:21:17

tidy i feel tired just looking at you days plan!!

I survived.swine rolled over as I approached<creaky stairs dammit> and sat up hastily rubbing eyes and mumbling apologies.ruined all my fun...
Scrambled together lunch<same as yesterday,but with addition if banana to hemp and sunflower seeds at break as she's "starving" less junk food choices and it means probably get same amount energy etc from food just less volume
>
She left on time.just...
Wash nearly dry
Made zoo a slice of toast
Woke D's and gave some toast
Need get ready for doctor app for lil zoo.45 min walk we leaving early to allow lots time as it's painful walking too quickly for her and we never have funds for taxi etcsad

Onthebrink67 Tue 12-Nov-19 08:35:54

Been lurking but not flying. Had a bit of an anxiety meltdown last couple of weeks. I tried to talk to DH last night about how I was feeling and he just replied he was going to sleep now so feeling very alone. Decided today I will shine my sink and clear the top of my chest of drawers. It’s not much but I need to feel I have achieved something. I’m in aware by the amount you all get done.

Sistercharlie Tue 12-Nov-19 08:50:14

Must be something in the water as my teen was utterly foul to me this morning so you have my full and total sympathy Zoo. flowers DD was utterly foul all weekend if truth be told - even though we adapted our manoeuvres to her timetable - and I feel really drained and demotivated this morning. She is very stressed out by the prospect of exams in four weeks (which count towards all important end of June exams) and is taking it all of her angst out on me us. I'm trying to be patient and understanding but she has been impossible frankly. She is very bright too so her cutting remarks hit where it hurts sad

What upsets me most is that dh makes the situation worse by totally indulging the behaviour (he feels guilty because of travelling a lot so tries to make everything wonderful when he is here) so I end up battling both of them. He actually took her out to her favourite bookshop just after one incident, bought her books and a cappucino and a pastry confused. When I asked him what he thought he was doing he said he was "taking her out to give you some space". Which is all well and good but DD perceives it as "and Dad agrees with me!"

I'm exhausted and feel like putting all of their sodding clutter in the bin. All the clothes the pair of them have left on the bathroom floor next to the laundry panier confused. The shoes and books and papers they have left all over the sitting room. The sodding piles of loose change, receipts, etc DH has emptied out of his pockets on multiple surfaces. The mugs, plates, mixed clean and dirty laundry on the floordrobe on dd's floor. The weekend bags, coats, shoes, boots, just dropped in the hall along with a load of mud which will stay there, I know, until I take them up three flights of stairs and put them away.

Normally Dobby the f***ing house fairy (yes that's me) would clear it all up after a long weekend but I sodding well don't want to <stomps about angrily and flicks v signs at the world in immature fashion>

On top of everything, DH has undermined a load of very difficult and expensive training our dog trainer and I have been working on since the summer. Very experienced dog trainer said our "puppy" (very very immature 2 year old) was the most difficult nut to crack that she'd had in 20 years (anxious rescue; constantly barking, terrified of other dogs but v v intelligent ) and I was just starting to make progress with her. But to DH it doesn't matter and the rules are all "poppycock" and "over the top" because he doesn't walk her day in and day out and have her bark at other dogs three times her size in the park and nearly get herself eaten! angry

Aaargghhhhhhhhhhhhh

ChicCroissant Tue 12-Nov-19 08:51:02

Waves to Onthebrink, and great work with the instant playdates Times.

Need to get in the shower and get off to craft class today, thought it was Wednesday when I first woke up today - no chance!

Spoke to DD about another event for next year, calendar which I don't actually have yet is really filling up but it's one she's done before and it will be interesting.

Catch you later ladies!

Sistercharlie Tue 12-Nov-19 08:53:59

Sorry. That was epic. blush Didn't meant to write an essay!

Going to catch up with thread now!

Ghoulette1740 Tue 12-Nov-19 09:58:56

SC it wasn't too long. You explained the situation very well and I can see why you feel stretched. To stretch the dog analogy you are at the end of your leash. I can recommend the Headspace app just to give yourself a few minutes of meditation. Obviously DD can't continue to lash out like that and it will calm down. Maybe you could nudge DH so you can have a more united front for future DD wobbles. I can't think of a worse age group for exams than teens. And let's face it the ed system where you live seems very stressful. But all the same you can't unload on folk because you've exam stress. flowers

Ghoulette1740 Tue 12-Nov-19 10:01:39

DH is running an event and you would not believe the strops he's had from seemingly sane people who feel slighted that they weren't invited to hold court talk. It's been very revealing and a bit demoralising.

Ghoulette1740 Tue 12-Nov-19 10:02:52

flowers to you too zoo

Ghoulette1740 Tue 12-Nov-19 10:07:54

Onthebrink67 I'm trying meditation and exercise. I think someone up thread mentioned that they were running every day. I'm not there yet! I do understand what it's like to be anxious x

Stilllivinginazoo Tue 12-Nov-19 12:26:37

onthebrinkflowersa bit if me time,even 20 mins doing something you love,deep breathing when you get into bed and generally trying to be kind to yourself<would you talk to a friend the way we talk to ourselves?>help a bit

SC we should start a club/share a trench.i have 4 weeks til GCSE mock begin.dd2 is a rabbit in headlights and now has seen marks required for 6th form courses she's on the edge and utterly unbearable."d" p constantly undermines me with them all- letting D's take phone to local places where the distraction techniques are unnecessary,letting a of them do what they like as he's not here much..only difference is mine genuinely can bugger off home and leave me to it.huge sympathies on canine front too
If I was you I'd be having a day of doing me stuff and sod the lot of them!<immature emoticon>

Lil zoo has now got laxitives and anti spasmodics to add to peppermint oil capsules.2weeks we review on phone.gets worse go back.no school for a couple days as this protocol leads to uncertainty in the loo department.not good when school is 25 minutes walk,nor if you need go NOW in class....it has settled into a bit if predictability after that previously.will have to see...

Stilllivinginazoo Tue 12-Nov-19 12:27:17

ghoulette flowerssome people are beyond thoughtless.poor dh

Bowerbird5 Tue 12-Nov-19 12:34:16

We all do epic when we are stressed. It took me back to ourDD.The boys didnt stress as much over exams. DS1 because he was reasonably clever and thought he would pass them unfortunately he was very ill in hospital and didn't really recover enough to get a good pass. DS2 didn't bother much and then got a big shock when he opened them and has always worked hard since. DS3 didn't expect to pass any because he missed most of a year at school because of anxiety and bullying. He passed all on a low grade and we were thrilled. All three have never been out of work since they left school. DS 3 doesn't really like his job but he does it well apparently and he is even up for the early starts at 5am.
They are all different but I think girls are more cutting with words.
Explain to DH that positive reinforcement for the dog and DD will encourage theat behaviour soooo books, cappuchino and pastry will encourage rants but the idea of giving you space was good but maybe next time you get the treats and she stays at home!
I would be tempted to get two large black bags and put all their stuff in there and give it to them when they are going upstairs.

Ta Da
bed made.
wash on
attempting declutter hall.
Vacuum now on charge.
S&S
Going to make DH a coffee as he is outside cutting wood with his new toy. Will rug up and go to summer house.

Ghoulette1740 Tue 12-Nov-19 13:05:13

I'm epic when stressed too Bower come to think of it blushconfused

Zoo Someone cancelled a social engagement with us because they thought (wrongly) that they'd been snubbed about the event. Poor DH had to go around to their house to placate them but at least they apologised. I was livid. Then yesterday someone else kicked off. A wide invite to participate went out just not everyone picked up on it. He'll be glad when it's over but he could do without the stress, obviously.

Ghoulette1740 Tue 12-Nov-19 13:06:52

zoo hope those things work for Lilzoo, poor love.

LivingInLaputa Tue 12-Nov-19 13:30:00

Hugs onthebrink that was not fair of H to ignore you like that.

SC I would honestly lamp your H if I had the chance 😡😡😡

Zero flying here, it’s all about the headache 🙄 hoping this is just a short term thing (very common apparently) I’m in London all day with mum tomorrow

LivingInLaputa Tue 12-Nov-19 13:30:36

That sounds mega stressful zoo the anxiety about needing the loo won’t help 😰

Tidyhomewannabe Tue 12-Nov-19 14:47:36

Zoo I really hope the meds work quickly, keeping off school sounds like the best thing until everything settles - nothing more embarrassing than a toilet incident in front of friends !

Sc thanks I can completely understand where you are coming from - we have a few years yet until dd1 enters exam year, she doesn't test well so I'm absolutely dreading it ! I think girls are generally more vocal than boys and their words can cut deep!

Ta da
Wash in
Work
Picked dd2 up from nursery
Lunch
Drier on
Took friend and her mum to hospital
Popped into Tesco (no games that ds wanted in stock angry) so did food shop
Shopping away
Quick coffee and catch up with the thread

Off on the school run, will hopefully fit a bit off flying in afterwards!

Bowerbird5 Tue 12-Nov-19 14:53:20

Zoo ah poor Lil zoo. Have you tried liquorice. Lakeland have Australian Natural Liquorice which I try to keep in the house and try not to eat more than two pieces.It is very moreish but you really don't want to eat much. I have that because of the meds I am on. Also i can't remember whether I mentioned no dairy. I was much better when having no dairy. I'm sure you have one no dairy but can't remember which one.

DD on other side of the world has sent me a NT link to Vegan afternoon teas. I really miss tea and scones when out so will definitely be looking for nearest one on the weekend. grin

Stick Dyson 7 ...Suddenly remembered another reason for buying one was to be able to vacuum summer house.Up until now I have been used an old kitchen broom that i use for green house. Yeah to the Dyson the Summer house looks spick and span. I am thinking I will need to move all cushions in soon. I haven't been down for about 5 days. The view is fantastic as the leaves have turned. I then came in a gave a whizz around the downstairs areas and done before it ran out of battery. DH loved his coffee break cafetiere of South American coffee and a Scottish snowball. grin Off to Drs in an hour and might potter in town for half an hour. Need to check ingredients for last two Christmas Cakes.

Sistercharlie Tue 12-Nov-19 16:54:45

Hello everyone! Thanks very much for the support! Much appreciated! Had to dash off this morning because I forgot I had a "controle" booked at the dentist (mot in other words). Had a very nice older lady dentist this time and she was wonderfully calming!

I know I am horribly wicked but I feel a bit more chipper now that I have spent 68 Euros (without permission!) on a bucket of very expensive feed supplement for strengthening dhorse's hooves and charged it "accidentally" to dh's credit card grin hmm. I have heard very good things about its efficacy and had been meaning to try it for a while but the price had put me off! grin

I also feel a bit ashamed for saying I felt exhausted when I only have one teen and so many of you folk are struggling with broken nights and multiples and sn issues and babes and energetic toddlers and young 'uns etc so forgive me for that. blush

Thank you Ghoulette I like the "at the end of my leash" phrase! grin I'll use that! grin And that Headspace app! I am; seriously, going to try it because tbh I feel a bit overwhelmed with everything but in my heart I know it is the nationality dossier stress and uncertainty that is really getting to me. Can't really settle or focus on anything else until it is "put to bed", hopefully before December 12th! There is no point in worrying about it post submission because then it is down to the authorities ifyswim and it's out of my hands. But this is the point at which I am worrying about getting everything right.

DD's angst doesnt help but you are right; adolescence is quite the worst time (emotionally speaking) to be sitting exams even though apparently academically it is when they can assimilate the most amount of info. And I understand dd's stress completely, and sympathise, it is just the sharp words that get to me. I tell you that girl could be a great criminal barrister one day!

And I've given dh the united front speech until I am blue in the face. Difficult to explain but dh can rarely be tied down/won't conform to a set system somehow. (Put benevolently, he always knows best is an "independent thinker"). I give up on that one really ... .

So sorry to hear about the stress that your dh has encountered when organising his event. That must be the very last thing he needs right now when he is already feeling low. Some people can be so thoughtless; especially the "professionally offended" brigade! I hope he knows its them and definitely not him flowers

Bower very good to hear from someone who has been there and worn the t-shirt x 4, wrt teen exams! Your post is very reassuring! It's good to know everyone emerges more or less unscathed in the end! And YY it would have been nice if dh had invited me out for once! And I have tried to have the "on the same page" discussion about the puppy a thousand times. It doesn't do any good. He always knows better grrrrr! And annoyingly, the furries love him the most too because he is constantly feeding them treats! confused Tried the bags on the stairs thing ready to take up, but they just brush past me and run up empty handed saying "can't stop, in a rush!" which to be fair, they usually are! confused

Love the sound of your summer house, with the beautiful autumnal leafy view! What is a Scottish snowball? Hope you have not been adversely affected by the terrible floods! And hope life with yr newly retired dh is settling in to a good rhythm! Thank heavens there were no babies in your car when it was stolen shock Good luck at the docs.

Zoo yes we should definitely share a trench grin and a hip flask grin! <proffers matching tin hats> <and cake>

Oh poor Lil 'Zoo sad. DD had to have anti-spasmodics at one point and then gave them up because they were having too good an effect. Then she had to take lactulose. The loos at her school are Dickensian and pretty grim too. I tell you, there are so many teen girls with these issues atm. I am convinced it is a combination of stress and artificial sweeteners. I have banned the latter from the house (I imagine with your wonderful diet you don't have many either). Only "proper" sugar for us anyway! smile I hope Lil 'Zoo can continue with ballet because we find exercise really helps. Dd runs regularly since giving up dancing which seems to get everything going naturally ifyswim.

Onthebrink so sorry you are feeling stressed flowers. I totally, totally sympathise because my dh falls asleep in under 10 seconds flat at night. It really does make you feel as though you are at the bottom of the priority list sad. Could you try talking to him again? Or do you have anyone else you could talk to? And please don't be in awe. If you saw my house awe would be the last thing you would be feeling grin Seriously, it's a pit grin And you are doing exactly the right thing by just starting with a few small steps. Congrats on the shiny sink star

Hope the headache dissipates Laputa and you can enjoy London with your ma. Sorry Cagletini's 2 year assessment was upsetting for you flowers Please feel free re: dh grin

Good job with the decluttering KTCluck I also agree about the timer method! It is life-saving!

Wow Tidy that is a very full day! Good of you to act as hospital chauffeur with everything else you have going on! Hope your dd2 is fully recovered now!

Amazing ta da list Hungryhazeleyes! And well done to your dc too!

Expletive well done re: the running! And I hope your new job responsibilities are not too onerous and it's going well. Also that you have all recovered from the minor injuries in your household!

Toostressy I can take a guess at which thread you got hooked in to! I got hooked in to a similar one about some poor woman (no not me) who was living with messy adults who were driving her nuts, and many posters just came on to blame her shock

Time1O bloomin' well done for conquering CHAOS (can't have anyone over syndrome)! That's brilliant star

As is your essay writing while spinning multiple plates I've! star That's an amazing achievement, it really is! brew

A warm welcome to Queenofoversharing! Fascinated by your linguistics MA (we're living in a country with three official langs and where people - including dc - flip from one to another with ease). Well done re: seasonal clothes sorting!

Foxes I LOVE Junior Bake Off! smile Loved that little lad's chocolate climbing wall the other day smile

Chic that is a good idea about the mug acting as a clue for another Christmas present!

Ta da:
dentist
ordered horse feed supplement
ordered Christmas tree smile
ordered the presents for the office (phew) quite pleased about them
tidied for 40 mins x 2
washing loads x 4
emptied dw, shone sink, shone kitchen
hoovered sitting room ready for visitors passing through tomorrow

... and shamefully stress ate nearly a whole pkt of Lu Pim's chocolate and orange biscuits (a continental Jaffa cake) while sorting out some nationality dossier admin ... why oh why when I am trying to lose weight?????

Going to post this now before I scroll any further in case it disappears!

LivingInLaputa Tue 12-Nov-19 17:08:10

Managed a bit of drawing at last, thanks for the comments about the ones I uploaded btw thanks cagletini is sleeping so I escaped upstairs. DH is at his ESA assessment hmm

Can’t focus at all it’s annoying. Painkillers aren’t touching the headache now

Sistercharlie Tue 12-Nov-19 17:27:37

Meant to add (this thread is moving so fast!!)

Arf at chicken shoes Zoo grin

Hope your ds is now completely recovered Ghoulette and no puke bucket dashes required!

Great drawings Laputa bravo! [ Very Arcimboldo! wink ]

Hope your dd is feeling better KTCluck and all other tinies who are ailing bear

Well done for your dds parading yesterday Toostressy and Expletive

I am anticipating a visit from the military branch of the family tomorrow (cousins) who always pass through at this time of the year on their way back from Ypres. Meeting in a hotel for drinks this time so don't have to tidy up thank heavens! Having been in combat a number of times each, they attend the military parades but find some bits of the TV Remembrance coverage a bit too schmaltzy for their tastes. They always say there is absolutely nothing sentimental about war. And no service personnel worth their salt would ever in a million years term themselves "heros".

I must admit, living in a country that has been occupied, there is much more unease about the subject. Belgians hardly ever talk about it. Except my neighbour, before she was struck down with dementia, once took me down our street once and showed me which houses were occupied by "sympathisers" and which were not. That really brought it home.

Anyway dd is ignoring me back so I had better get cooking!
Have a good evening everyone!

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