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feeding other people's kids

(54 Posts)
Tarzanna Fri 19-Aug-05 21:23:16

After ending up with a 2 year old who ate only jam sandwiches we now operate a firm eat what's on your plate policy with ds and dd. They eat well. we are able to eat together each evening which helps. Empty plate means pudding, not finishing means no pudding. I know it contradicts all gurus who say don't make food an issue but it works for us and kids are well fed and right sort of size for age.
So what do I say to friend who looked at tea I had prepared for hers and mine and said " sorry my kids won't eat that !" It was veg chilli with tacos- lots of hidden veg in a tomato sauce. Homemade !

morningpaper Fri 19-Aug-05 21:25:49


I would ask before cooking for other people's children to make sure that they will eat what I'm making. To be honest expecting normal children to eat veg chilli is going a bit far ...

Gobbledigook Fri 19-Aug-05 21:27:02

Umm, don't know. I would have checked with 'dinner guests' first though I must admit. I'd say many children would not eat veg chilli with tacos - I'd always go for something 'safer'.

Sounded as though her response was a little rude though. I'm not sure mine would eat it either but I'd certainly encourage them to do so and would have been very grateful to the mother for going to so much effort.

MarsLady Fri 19-Aug-05 21:27:48

ooh can I have the recipe? DD1 is a veggie and I need all the recipes I can get.

I just serve up and leave it at that! I don't do fussy eaters. Most of the kids friends eat what I give them, or at least give it a good go.

colditz Fri 19-Aug-05 21:31:31

My ds would not touch veg chilli with a bargepole, and to be honest, I wouldn't be that keen myself. i cook a huge variety of food, we aren't a fussy family on the whole, but I just wouldn't give chilli to anyone, so many people don't like it.

I do agree with you that she was rude though. She could have tried them with it to see what they said.

moondog Fri 19-Aug-05 21:31:33

Rather rude I think.
My kids would and do eat vegetarian chilli and if I was in someone else's house and they had been kind enough to cook for them and me,they would be expected to eat it or go without.

(Same applies to me,even if it was something bllleeeeurrggh like beans or sausages. I stillhave nightmare flashbacks about a 'dinner party' in Russia where the mad American hostess hadn't cooked the chicken properly and I had to force it down along with blood tinged mashed potato. Heeeeaaaaaaave!!!!)

Tarzanna Fri 19-Aug-05 21:32:09

Should have said, no actual chilli in mixture just fresh veg and tomato sauce. Just call it that so kids think it is different!

miggy Fri 19-Aug-05 21:37:26

Sorry-that would have been mine too, dont think she was being rude if she said sorry. I know that mine wouldnt have put it in their mouths so it would be impossible not to say anything as you would have noticed! Although I would probably have swiped some off their plates when your back was turned and pretended they had eaten some

colditz Fri 19-Aug-05 21:43:20

Oh, I see. She was a bit strange to comment then, but you would have seen her kids not eating it, so maybe she thought it best to warn you? My ds wouldn't have eaten it either. He goes away hungry from our table 8 times out of 10. We aren't fussy, but he is!

Tarzanna Fri 19-Aug-05 21:44:01

I do normally try and please all customers but won't serve junk but some kids only eat junk so it can be a little trying from time to time. I feel sad for them as well as it isn't going to get easier to try new foods as they get older. I have encouraged mine to understand that we all like different foods and to be polite and have a taste of what's offered. This particular freind serves kids plain pasta most nights as that what they like.

Hulababy Fri 19-Aug-05 21:44:53

When I first read chilli I did wonder - neither me or DD (who loves most food) like chilli or spicy food. Even without chilli, DD struggles with tomato based things as they make her facy quite blotchy. It is getting better as she gets older luckily.

Do you check with friends/visitors what they do/don't eat? I find that makes things easier TBH. I do that for all our visitors, not just those with children.

Hattie05 Fri 19-Aug-05 21:45:36

I have a friend that says that to any food that isn't turkey twizzlers or frozen pizza's i say of course he will come on lets all sit down. And guess what? he does always try it - not necessarily eat it all up, but at least tries it.

Although i don't agree with your finish all your dinner policy, i do believe in ignoring any faffs about food. My dd either eats what she is given or goes hungry (don't take away dessert though - its often fruit anway)

Hattie05 Fri 19-Aug-05 21:47:26

I often cook with chilli's or chilli powder and have done since dd was about 18mths, of course i keep it very mild, but i don't see what is so wrong with this?

morningpaper Fri 19-Aug-05 21:48:51

Nothing wrong with it Hattie but it will make lots of children retch.

IlanaK Fri 19-Aug-05 21:48:53

I've had this at my house. My ds1 (4 yrs) has had friends around (With mums) for lunch and I Have made a sort of healthy spread that I think most would eat: granary bread and rolls, mixed salad, choice of cheese or meats to go on bread, raw cut up veg and also fruit like grapes. I figure there is something for even the fussiest eater. However, I have had a child refuse all of it. Then when I got out the peanut butter and jam to help appease him, he wouldn't eat that either as the jam and peanut butter were both the natural no sugar variety. He also would not sit at the table with us. I was very embarrassed for the mother, but what can you do? I did not offer anything else as I felt that I had offered enough variety.

If I do have people around, I do not compromise on my healthy eating for my family, but I do try to make sure there is a bit of variety so there is something they can eat.

moondog Fri 19-Aug-05 21:50:16

My ds has had chilli and spices since he started eating normal food (ie what we eat) at about 8 months.
Everything in Turkey comes with a bit of chilli so it's a good thing.

MistressMary Fri 19-Aug-05 21:51:00

did you see my post the other day?

moondog Fri 19-Aug-05 21:51:30

Yes Ilana,I do that. Put a lot of different things out so people can help themselves (but we do this when it's just us anyway.)

Hattie05 Fri 19-Aug-05 21:52:50

Why were you the mum that said my kids won't eat that?

NannyL Fri 19-Aug-05 21:59:20


i think you are quite right...

whose to say 'normal' children dont eat chilli.... its a pefectly normal acceptable food...

i REALLY belive there is no such thing as 'childrens' food.; Food is food for all, and once they are over a year i see no reason why children whould not eat the same meal as others.

I have to say my charges certainly WOULD eat it.... they are by no means 'abnormal', they too have learnt to eat food... and thats what for tea, eat it or be hungry!

I never feed my charges 'kids crap' (as i call tukey dinosaurs, smiley faces etc etc)

Infact it doesnt exist in theer house

i feed them proper food and they and all their freinds have it to, and no one has ever complained yet...

maybe im lucky... as most of theri freids are at same school... where ALL have school dinners...of proper food.... OR they be hungry too!

The 'normal' thing i do fro freinds is lasagne or spag bol or kedgeree

i see no probs with veg chilli!

Tarzanna Fri 19-Aug-05 22:06:47

I was beginning to feel really odd; glad someone else feel like me. I normally serve very similar things to you and normally check with parents first, but some kids have very long lists of no go areas. Reading the posts it sounds like I am an ogre making my kids eat every morsel but it's not like that at all. we just find the pudding works as a nice incentive even if it is fruit.

Prufrock Fri 19-Aug-05 22:16:17

What's wrong with a mild veg chilli - or meat chilli for that matter- I think it's obvious that nobody would make it anything but ever so slightly spicy for kids.

I wouldn't say anything to her Tarzanna - if her kids won't eat decent home cooked food it's her problem not yours. If other peoples children eat at my house they eat what I feed my kids (and usually enjoy it - may babies back me up here!). I always have bread, cheese and fruit available if they (or my own kids, as happens) decide they don't like what I've prepared (though our usual pudding is fruit or yoghurt I don't see the fruit as a treat so am happy to offer as an alternative).

Hulababy Fri 19-Aug-05 22:16:53

Nothing wrong with chilli as such, but not everyone likes it, that's all. I don't - I can't eat spicy food at all. Chilli itself makes me physoically sick. Don't know why.

colditz Fri 19-Aug-05 22:22:12

My brother reacts to chilli too, he gets hives on his lips.

He's gutted, he loves chinese food, and a lot of it has a touch of chilli!

Hattie05 Fri 19-Aug-05 22:23:24

Could it be because you didn't get used to it as a child?

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