I hate NYE and am already freaking out - how am I going to survive another one?

[naswm]

I just wish it was tomorrow already. Now that it is dark I am so jittery.

I hate the fact there are extra people out on the streets. More men getting drunk and being rowdy.

I just wish it was all over.

I am know how irrational and pathetic I am, and every year I repeatedy tell myself to pull myself together but it is half past four and already I am in a state.

I HATE THIS

[MrsSeanBean]

I don't like it either. It's always been a bit of a ninentity for me and makes me feel depressed. You will be ok tucked up indoors. Watch a good film and try to take your mind off the whole thing. Sending sympathy x

[MrsSeanBean]

nonentity I meant...

[tribpot]

naswm, hello!

What is it you are frightened of? Presumably you are tucked up safe and warm at home? No plans to go out? Will you be disturbed by noise later?

[naswm]

Right now I am frightened of everything. I am jumping at every little noise. A car pulled up nearby and people got out laughing and my heart started racing.

I am at home but at times like this I dont feel safe anywhere. I know it is stupid, and I tell myself that, and my therapist says I have to have more compassion with myself, and I do try, but I hate feeling like this

[Flihgtattendant]

I used to be woken most weekends and especially nights like this at our old house, I kind of developed PTSD about it - students used to roll down our road from the club at the uni.
It was awful and often we had to open the window at 2am to shout and get a load of abuse in return.
It used to make my heart race, the children woke, it was terrible.
Eventulally I got used to it and detached myself, not sure how. So I knew they were going to bugger off soon and were just very stupid, drunk yoofs.
I just lay there and waited for it to pass.

Lucky here, we rarely get things like that but NYE still depresses me a bit, I don't like bank hols or anything either. But the children help me by keeping me busy.

I just like NORMALITY.
You're not alone here, I think there are a few of us

[naswm]

Thanks MrsSB
waves to trib
dittany they are good tips, thanks
Flight your experiences woudl send me over the edge you poor thing.

NYE for me just brings all my insecurities and panic and undealt with 'issues' to the surface. Right now I could cry but my old habits and coping strategies are fully loaded and I am completely repressed

[stoppinattwo]

could you put some music on maybe??? it would stop you listening to what is going on outside....

[naswm]

thanks stoppin - I have done. Alas it doesnt stop what is going on inside my head atm

[Flihgtattendant]

I am wondering if you might be able to get something to calm you...there is something called Kalms, or maybe even valium, my friend took it before a long haul flight.

[naswm]

thanks flight - you ar good with advice. I have plenty I could take, and no doubt will. Atm I am a bit calmer, so I am hoping that stays... Thansk again

[Flihgtattendant]

Oh no worries I am not that good lol

Just trying to think of something useful

I hope you can manage to stay calm tonight. It's horrible when it's inside your head and you can't seem to get a handle on it

have been there a lot
Thinking of you anyway xx

[naswm]

thanks flight xx

[tribpot]

naswm, how are you doing today?

[naswm]

hello trib - thanks for remembering me. I am ok. Actually I am fine. I did manage to relax last night (could have been the copious amount of red wine I had - but even that in itself is an achievement for me, becuae when I am v 'alert' I dont always allow myself to give in to it).

Today I am a bit groggy (ok, I am hung over) but okay. I hope that I can go forward in to this new year with renewed strentgh etc

[tribpot]

Good good, hope this is the start of a great year for you, take care xx

[naswm]

thanks trib. You too? Would love to chat on msn again some time - not sure how we set that up again tho!

[Flihgtattendant]

That's really good, well done

I thought about you this morning when we were in town, wondered how it went last night. There was no sign of life in the streets at 9am! Weird time of year.

[naswm]

aww flight - that is kind, thank you

I am ok. What were you doing out at 9am?! sales?

[Flihgtattendant]

Well yers...

Had to change something my mum didn;t like, and get a diary because ds2 weed on my other one

It is busier now, we got there, realised everything was shut till 11 and sat in a dreary Mc Donalds for an hour!! Arghh.

Hope you're having a restful day - anything planned?

[naswm]

lol at DS2 weeing on your diary - that is a classic!

I have been resting, but am about to nip out to sainsburys (have an urge to make bread and am out of yeast lol) then am contemplating a 'walk'. Am feeling dreadfully hungover (I dont usually get hangovers, so I think I rather overdid it last night) so I think a walk might blow away the cobwebs, as my mother used to say!

oh, and yuck for having to spend an hour in McDs!!

[Flihgtattendant]

I hope sainsbos isn't too packed and you get a clearer head later on. At least NYE is over for another year!

Take care xxx

[naswm]

sains was empty!

I then had a 2 hour stroll (couldnt reall call it a walk lol) arond Greenwich - was nice

[Flihgtattendant]

Oh Greenwich is pleasant - I haven't been to London for years, used to go there as a teen, it was always exciting.

Today seems much calmer doesn't it.

[naswm]

yes it does - ridiculous to think what a state I was in this time yesterday