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Can't hold it together - any advice

(27 Posts)
Hoo Mon 28-Jul-08 11:51:27

Suffer from terrible health anxiety (has me screaming in terror at its worst and unable to interact with anyone). Been seeing a psychiatrist for 6 months and taking ADs. A month ago he changed the prescription to Velafaxine, which after reading about it, I decided not to take. He then prescribed Fluoxetine with diazepam. GP will only give a very small number of diazepam tablets and
Fluoextine has increassed anxiety.

I stoped taking all ADs for a couple of weeks but felt to terrible (rage all the time) that I started again. I have reached the point where I just can't seem to cope with it any longer and don't feel I can make it through another bad episode.

I don't mean that I am contemplating jumping off a bridge or anything, but have found myself becoming increasingly reckless (eg driving way too fast around bends on country lanes(never with the dcs and always where I can see there are no other cars on the road)). I just don't seem to care what the outcome is.

I know all this is very wrong, mad and stupid but I can't seem to find a way out. I have terrible health anxieties at the moment, but can't bear another round of seeing doctors or having tests (as am convinced have had so many scans etc that have already hugely increased risk of dying).

Does anyone have any kind of advice to offer - apart from to pull myself together (the need for which I am well aware of).

Not my usual nickname by the way - too ashamed to post under that!

GooseyLoosey Mon 28-Jul-08 12:33:12

If I post under my normal name, does anyone have any suggestions? Know it all sounds really stupid, but it is so real to me.

loopylou6 Mon 28-Jul-08 17:50:46

Hiya GL, only just seen this. I dont know what to say TBH, but i just wanted you to know that you're not alone in your feelings. I also have raging health anxiety that i cant deal with. I think if i was you i would just take the tablets prescribed to you and hope for the best. Sorry, i probably really havent helped blush

GooseyLoosey Mon 28-Jul-08 18:19:43

Thanks - I am taking them, but at the moment they are making it worse and the GP won't give me the diazepam that the psych said to take with them. I really, really feel that I can't deal with it all again but when I explain the problem to someone it all seems so inane.

Thank you so much for replying - I must admit I was rather stupidly feeling worse for being ignored. It just kind of reinforces how trivial the problem actually seems to others (and I completely understand why!)

loopylou6 Tue 29-Jul-08 11:48:17

it is not a trivial problem GL, i hope you continue to keep takingthe tablets, i hear they make you feel worse before you feel better smile

DumbledoresGirl Tue 29-Jul-08 11:53:10

Hi GooseyLoosey. Don't really know what to say to help you but I always remember your kindness to me when I went through a crisis with my phobia and I cannot therefore leave your anguish unanswered. Sometimes it does help to post under your normal name!

What was it about Velafaxine that made you not want to take it? Does that mean that the drugs you are on are very much second best?

Would it help to talk about your health worries or is that counter-productive?

Boco Tue 29-Jul-08 11:59:56

Gosh not trivial at all, I don't think anyone would think this is trivial, it sounds awful. Probably people just really don't know what to suggest.

Have you tried any therapy?
Cognitive analytic or cognitive behavioural might help because it's all about understanding the way that you think and learning how to change it. My dp has been very ill for a long time, and CAT was the only thing that had a big impact for him. He was also on venlafaxine and stopped taking it.

Did you ever see that programme about people with terrible health anxieties being treated with therapy? I think you need to keep pushing for more help and support.

GooseyLoosey Wed 30-Jul-08 08:12:34

Thanks both for replying - had a power cut yesterday so couldn't get back here. Boco, I saw the programme was on but avoided watching it as I didn't think I could bear people with health anxieties being ridiculed.

Hi DG - Venlafaxine seems to be very hard to come off and I will not surrender my life to ADs.

Such a mess! Supposed to be working at homeat the moment but don't think I have done one constructuve thing as can't think about anything else.

Thanks again all.

Eve34 Wed 30-Jul-08 08:34:54

You are doing so well, don't beat yourself up. It isn't easy. I have been on AD for nearly 2 years. And I cope, not well some days, but dread to think how I would be without them.
I am not looking at coming off them any time soon. I understand your wish not to become dependent. I too felt like this but feel much better for sticking with them.

GooseyLoosey Wed 30-Jul-08 08:37:29

Thanks Eve. I was doing OKish until they changed the ADs and now it all seems so much worse.

I am sat here trying to focus on work and I just can't.

DumbledoresGirl Wed 30-Jul-08 09:37:08

GL, I don't quite understand how the GP can withhold the diazepam if the psychiatrist prescribed them for you. Doesn't he/she take the advice of the specialist? hmm I know virtually nothing about ADs but I thought diazepam was a calming drug which sounds exactly what you are lacking at the moment.

I am sorry you are feeling so bad. I have no idea what to suggest, but an inability to concentrate on your work sounds bad and something that your GP should be trying to help with. All I can offer is a virtual hand of friendship such as you offered me. Sorry it can't be more.

GooseyLoosey Wed 30-Jul-08 09:39:48

Thankyou DG - that means a lot and I would reiterate that I am here should you ever need the reassurance that someone can come and look after some or all of you if any of you are sick!

GP just says diazepam is addictive and he doesn't like prescribing it and at the moment, I could no more argue the point with him than scale a mountain.

How's your emetophobia by the way?

ThatBigGermanPrison Wed 30-Jul-08 09:43:13

Demand to see the psych again. I am pretty sure your GP cannot override his instructions. yes, diazepam is addictive, it also has its place in mental health management and your GP is NOT an expert - yet he appears tp think himself better equipped than a mental health professional.hmm

Ring your mental health team, explain what the GP is doing. I'm sure they can override him with ease.

(or her, of course)

GooseyLoosey Wed 30-Jul-08 09:45:20

Psych is on holiday. Problem I am facing at the moment is that I just don't seem to have the energy or the will to overcome any of this any more. You are right though, I need to do something.

DumbledoresGirl Wed 30-Jul-08 09:45:39

Sorry, I still don't get it. You go to a specialist who thinks one thing and then have to get the permission of a GP to carry out the prescribed course of treatment. The GP has a different opinion about the treatment and his opinion has more sway than the specialist? That is nuts!

I suppose you are not in a position to argue the case though. sad When do you go back to the psychiatrist? Surely he/she needs to know that their advice is not being followed?

My emetophobia is a constant in my life. It has not been put to the test recently, but it is always there. Dh is away tonight (our wedding anniversary too! sad) but it is only one night so I am used to it.

DumbledoresGirl Wed 30-Jul-08 09:46:31

Oops crossed posts.

GooseyLoosey Wed 30-Jul-08 09:51:55

Happy anniversary!

DumbledoresGirl Wed 30-Jul-08 09:56:22

Yeah thanks. It will certainly make a change, to have an anniversary without a husband hmm wink

I think I have been here before with you, but if you have msn and want to chat, or if you just want to email me, you can feel free: dumbledoresgirl1@hotmail.co.uk

GooseyLoosey Wed 30-Jul-08 10:00:06

Thanks, I'll be OK - off on hols soon (first timme in years) which will hopefully put a different persepctive on things.

ConstanceWearing Wed 30-Jul-08 10:00:20

Hello, GooseyLoosey.

Don't be ashamed of anything. We all are what we are, and not less for being that way, imo.

I think it's absolutely disgusting that a GP can override what a psychiatrist says. I understand entirely that you may not have the fighting spirit to make a fuss in front of GP, but how about going behind his back and stitching him/her up to the prescribing psychiatrist?

Just a very small, pathetically voiced phone call? You can do it.

(I'm not taking the p*, I'm just saying that all it requires is the very smallest amount of energy. Once you get the ball rolling, you will feel empowered when people jump to your defence, and you will be on the way up again).

You cannot help the way your brain functions. GP cannot help the way his/her brain functions. It's a shame he/she cannot see your pov, but that doesn't make GP right, and quite honestly GP needs overriding. If you can't make the phone call, who can do it for you?

Your health is important. At least as important as the GP's uppity opinion!!!

GooseyLoosey Wed 30-Jul-08 10:06:16

You are right Constance, I am trying to muster the energy to do something now.

subster Wed 30-Jul-08 10:45:37

Sorry to hear about your current health & hope it gets better soon.
I think you should seriously try venlafaxine-someone i knew started it (reluctantly) & felt loads better but i do understand your concerns.
I just want to make a comment about your Gp not wanting to prescribe diazepam-it's got the potential to be an addictive drug-it's all good & well the psychiatrist saying you should use it but at the end of the day its the GP who signs the prescription & if he's going to end up giving you a drug that got the potential to get you hooked it could make you worse in the long term-it needs serious thought.

Sorry i couldnt be much help sad

GooseyLoosey Wed 30-Jul-08 14:02:42

Thanks Subster - I do understand where the GP is comming from and in a few weeks might even agree with him, at the momnet though, I could cheerfully kill him.

subster Thu 31-Jul-08 08:21:13

Sorry it's taken a while to reply.
I would seriously think about changing your GP-are their any other GPs in the practice that you can chat to instead? If not is it feasible to change surgery altogether.
Your relationship with this GP is hampering your recovery.

ConstanceWearing Thu 31-Jul-08 12:38:54

How did you get on, GL? Feeling any better today?

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