I am in my 30s, and have poor social skills. I was always a weird kid- very introverted and obsessive and sensitive to the outside world. Afraid of people, socialising, loud noises and of certain foods. I had few friends at school and was teased and laughed at alot for being different.
My DF would scream and yell and threaten me because I was so odd and I struggled with certian things eg learning to tie my shoes, numbers, maths etc. I was good at reading and verbal skills and just wante dto read books all day. I never fit in much anywhere, though I am sure I must have been happy sometimes.
I used to not know when to stop talking or start talking. My schol teachers wanted me tested but my parents were of abranch of strict fundamentalist Christianity and were opposed to psychology and did not want me to get tested.
By secondary school I was a loner. I had no sense of fashion and was not popular at school. I think I must have come across as very cocky and arrogant because I would blurt things out that would probably be considered insensitive. I still do that.
Well, I suffer a lot of anxiety around people still and when I have to meet strangers eye contact is very scary for me. I do not feel able to just say to someone "hello how are you?" etc or use small talk. Sometimes I know I see someone who needs help liek eg they need to sit down and I should offer them my seat on the train but I am scared if i do that they will laugh at me or call me stupid like kids at school do. Sometimes I can manage it, sometimes not. But it means I often do not understnad what others expect of me and am slow to react. So it looks like I am just inconsiderate. I do not seem to "see" or understand boundaries. I also have times when I do not know when to stop texting or talking to someone. Even in an argument I feel I need to keep pressing my point home and defending myself.
I have a CPN because I have been under MH services for years for other issues such as anxiety, PTSD, BPD/EUPD etc. I have often wondered whether I should ask whether I should seek help for my lack of boundaries and lack of empathy. I have been told I may have neurological or learning issues but not enough symptoms to score a diagnosis.
How can I improve my social skills and learn to empathise with other people and minimise my "oddness." I posted earlier today under a different name about an incident and the whole thread turned into a bunfight because I did not know what was appropritae to say and what not to. I have been battling thoughts of hurting myself and am very self destructive with food- binge eating and laxatives. I suffered some sexual emotional and physical abuse in my childhood from my DF and DGF and some boys at school and feel like I am a child not an adult.
I do not mean to offend anyone or freak them out and I am sorry if I have. I am also sorry about the earlier post. I tried to log back in under my usual log in but could not.
I do not wish to call the Crisis Team about my self harm (mostly I cut or scratch or bite myself) because I have not long been out of hospital. A friend on Facebook told me the other day that she had known all along I was probably being abused by my DF but felt she did not know how to get me help. I feel guilty because I know I was a diffficult kid and not very likeable and so my DF probably did not mean any harm to me.
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Mental health
AIBU to ask why my social boundaries are so rubbish and what can I do about them?
polkadott30 · 06/11/2017 00:25
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