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whats the root of your anxiety?

(48 Posts)
ssd Sun 08-Oct-17 10:22:52

I'd say mine is lack of family, lack of support and just feeling isolated from a young age

whats yours?

Cruciatus Sun 08-Oct-17 10:25:15

Money. Or lack thereof. I often think I mustn't complain because surely everyone has this as the root of their anxiety. But I truly believe life would be infinitely better and easier if we had no money worries.

Teddy7878 Sun 08-Oct-17 10:27:20

Money and health worries.
I sit and google symptoms all the time and end up thinking I'm dying of cancer

Littlemissdemeanour Sun 08-Oct-17 10:34:28

I find it hard to pinpoint exactly, but a fair amount of loss / death around me as a child.

As an adult, it manifests itself in loneliness. I'm single, spend a lot of time alone (I can go Friday - Tuesday without seeing a soul, etc).

I think I begin to get anxious when I have no plans. And stay indoors when I have no plans / anyone to see as I feel sad seeing everyone around me so seemingly happy. And so the cycle and anxiety begins.

This weekend is one of those weekends, ditto next.

flowers to everyone in the same boat. Anxiety is shit.

Lolimax Sun 08-Oct-17 10:37:42

Having alcohol parents. Being bullied in boarding school. Being married to an emotional dysfunctional ex. I constantly question myself. I never believe I’m good enough.

ohdostopfiddling Sun 08-Oct-17 10:41:21

For anyone with anxiety (or any mental health issue) there is a good Facebook group called Time To Talk. It's very good for helping me not feel lonely at times. There's always someone to talk to and it's sometimes distracting or funny games not just mental health. Please don't be lonely x

ssd Sun 08-Oct-17 10:46:35

thank you all so much for all these honest answers

makes me realise I'm not so alone

ssd Sun 08-Oct-17 10:51:40

the worst thing for me about anxiety is how lonely and isolated it makes me feel, when I'm being clever I tell myself, I'm not alone I have anxiety, but a lot of the time I am alone, so it doesnt really work. And the funny thing is I'm an introvert and I like my own company, I just dont like it forced on me, like I have no choice about it.

Littlemissdemeanour Sun 08-Oct-17 10:56:04

ssd I couldn't have put it better myself.

ssd Sun 08-Oct-17 11:19:14

but I dont know what to do about it.

Littlemissdemeanour Sun 08-Oct-17 11:21:56

You and me both.

I try to get myself out of the house, do things. But ultimately I only ever end back here, and alone.

I'm fed up of putting on a front, lying about plans to look less lonely than I am. I'm sure if you knew me you would never guess.

Loneliness is lonely in itself.

Teddy7878 Sun 08-Oct-17 11:28:26

Are any of you on medication or do you try and deal with it yourselves? I'm not taking anything but I feel like I'm edging closer to needing to speak to a GP about it and get some help

OnlyGodKnowsWhy Sun 08-Oct-17 11:31:06

Losing my main carer when I was two. Childhood abuse, witnessing the assaults on my youngest brother and trying to help him. Being disbelieved when I spoke out. Suicide of another brother and a best friend a month apart. Rape at 18.

I don’t think any of them are particularly the Epi Centre so to speak. Just all events that have accumulated into an anxious nature.

Onynx Sun 08-Oct-17 11:32:47

Money & the fallout from having a severely alcoholic parent as an adult. I suppose I keep looking at other people & wondering how their lives seem so stress-free & straightforward - and I know I am being ridiculous because nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors.

OnlyGodKnowsWhy Sun 08-Oct-17 11:32:56

I’ve been on sertraline twice and both times I fully believe it’s saved my life. Also short counselling which was kind of helpful. I do a lot of CBT on my own. I become the most anxious when everything seems to be going well. Go figure.

Teddy7878 Sun 08-Oct-17 11:34:11

Does sertraline make you feel sick for the first week or two? I've heard it's good but can cause nausea and dizziness etc in the beginning which scares me (I get bad health anxiety and hate feeling physically unwell)

OnlyGodKnowsWhy Sun 08-Oct-17 11:39:04

Honestly, yes it does quite commonly cause nausea and increased anxiety at first. There is a big sertraline thread in this topic, I’d have a read.

I also have some health anxiety, however I was so unwell that I was desperate enough to take the sertraline regardless and both times, I’ve been glad I did.

ssd Sun 08-Oct-17 11:50:19

I have health anxiety too, am seeing dr on tuesday for something most folk wouldn't...then again it might be something big, I just dont know

delilahbucket Sun 08-Oct-17 11:53:05

Mine started after an infertility diagnosis. These days the triggers are tiredness and having to deal with my ex.

AnxiousMunchkin Sun 08-Oct-17 11:54:39

Low self esteem and perfectionism, learned in childhood by the way I was parented, the examples of the adults around me and being bullied at primary school. Nothing dramatic, no major abuse or trauma, just enough so that my world view has formed that fundamentally I am a worthless, awful person.

brilliantslight Sun 08-Oct-17 11:58:48

Same as you ssd the feeling of not being padded out by extended family. A death in early childhood has had the knock on effect that the family has become weak and disintegrated and they don't really have the capacity to help or care for each other properly.

I have developed my own ways to deal with this over time but I do lack confidence and then the anxiety steps in.

ssd Sun 08-Oct-17 12:00:51

how do you help to deal with this brilliantslight? I feel the same as you.

brilliantslight Sun 08-Oct-17 12:14:48

I am kind to myself. I give myself the benefit of the doubt and think of the difficult childhood I had and think to myself you are doing great, keep going. I don't let people take advantage of me anymore/put me down and I don't put people above me.

I also break down successful people's backgrounds and say "well yes that is possible because your mum comes to help with the kids/cleans the house/ calls you everyday and tells you are great" Well I don't have that so my journey is different but not worse.

Most importantly I realise my limitations and don't put myself in situations where I will struggle whether that be work-related or social stuff. I accept my weaknesses.

When I feel really anxious I say to myself "Don't worry we will all be dust one day. It doesn't matter."

I have my own CBT smile

Sorry ssd that probably wasn't all that helpful.

PinkCrystal Sun 08-Oct-17 12:20:26

Going through 2 stillbirth and multiple birth traumas

ssd Sun 08-Oct-17 13:46:25

thanks brilliantslights, that makes perfect sense.

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