to want to be sectioned in a Psychiatric Hospital?

[ReallyReallyNeedABreak]

I am going mad! I have suffered from severe anxiety for over 6 years now. I get the heart racing/palpatations, butterflies in stomach, lightheadedness, nausea, headaches, shakiness, jelly legs, numbness in hands/feet, muscle tremors, intrusive thoughts, hyper sensitivity to noise etc DAY IN DAY OUT. I have no idea what it feels like to feel 'normal' any more. I am a wreck. I have had tests, scans, seen consultants and it is all in my head. There is nothing medically wrong with me.

I know what I need to recover and that is PEACE to allow my frazzled nervous system to cool down and heal but with 4 DCs, a mountain of debt, living in temporary council housing, problems with 2 DCs at school, inability to find a job and lack of sleep due to DC4, that is bloody IMPOSSIBLE! I feel like I am never going to recover, so I may as well just kill myself instead (too scared to even do that, Ha). I carry on and do all that I need to do to run the house and look after the DCs because I have to but it feels like I am wading through mud. DH is supportive but losing patience.

I have asked my psychologist if I could be admitted to a hospital as I feel like a nutter and of course she said NO, I am not that bad apparently. I also don't need any more CBT, I need to recover myself rather than using CBT as a crutch . Can't take ADs as they make me feel worse.

Why can't I just have a month of intensive bloody counselling in a hospital so I can start feeling normal? I have no chance of going away for a holiday and no one to stay with here. I am a shadow of the person I used to be (and who I know is buried inside me still), I feel like I will never get back to being her again .

[ReallyReallyNeedABreak]

I know this should be in Mental Health but WTH!

[gordyslovesheep]

YANBU to want a break - but being sectioned isn't the answer - you have posted it up there ^^^ your mental health wont recover until the other stuff changes - maybe tackling that would help you feel more incontrol = less anxiety

It sound like you have been through hell and you are entiled to be depressed - but I doubt anything will help until your outside circumstances change x

[squeakytoy]

Who would look after your children if you were sectioned? If you have no-one to stay with you.

[ssd]

I'm sorry

you have it hard, no denying that

the only thing I can think of is surestart? or something like that?

also you gp doesnt sound great, can you try another one who might be a bit more sympathetic?

sorry I'm not much help, but you're obviously suffering and I didnt want to ignore you

[gordyslovesheep]

also what anti D's have your tried - there are loads of different ones -- they can't all make your worse can they?

[GypsyMoth]

Are you on medication for any of this?

Even extreme cases will struggle to get any time in a psychiatric hospital. It's expensive I was told when I got my ex sectioned!

[missymarmite]

Can anything be done about your debt? Can you have it written off? Have you any family/friends who could have the kids for a bit so that DH and you can have some private time together, not to mention a proper rest?

[GypsyMoth]

Does your DH work?

[feelingratheroverwhelmed]

Don't have a huge amount of advice but didn't want to leave you unanswered. YOu can only be sectioned if you are an immediate danger to yourself or others, which you aren't, thankfully.

Keeping going with your routine is a positive thing, if you stop it may take you a very very long time to be able to return to it.

You need to go back to your psychologist and ask for more coping mechanisms. Is there anything that sets off your anxiety in particular? Have you done therapy to help you desensitize?
Make an apt ASAP, good luck x

[ReallyReallyNeedABreak]

DH would have to take time off to look after the DCs. I meant that I have no one to GO stay with to get time away from home.

[Atwaroverscrabble]

If you have really decided you need to spend some time on a mental health ward (believe me they are not peaceful! I worked on a few for a couple of years) it would be preferable to do a voluntary admission rather than be sectioned as then you can leave as soon as you want to, can have leave off the ward wtc whereas with a section you may be seriously restricted.... Perhaps talk to the crisis/assertive outreach team for your area...

Good luck and i hope you feel better soon

[ClartyScutter]

First of all, I'd probably be asking MNHQ to move this out of AIBU, if not to MH then perhaps Chat? It can get pretty heated in here.

But I also take issue with you saying 'it's all in your head' depression IS a physical illness and to heal you need to find the correct medicine, and use it.

I know only too well how a 'new' therapy or med can seem like a fix, only to find it's not the miracle i wanted it to be, especially when people around me are so positive 'this is the one that will work'.

You do have positive thoughts in your mind, you know that the 'old' you is still inside, what is stopping her coming out? She could probably help you tackle some of your life issues - she sounds very strong.

[cestlavielife]

ask for a voluntary admission or day unit

[attheendoftheday]

I don't think that a psychiatric ward is the answer, they are rarely restful or peaceful as many of the patients will be very unwell and can disturb others. I'm a MH nurse, and acute admissions wards often do not suit anxious patients well as they can be very anxiety-provoking places. Can you ask your GP for a referral to the community mental health team? A CPN might be able to offer support. Surestart might also be able to offer family support.

[ReallyReallyNeedABreak]

Nothing sets it off - it's just always there from the time I get up to the time I go to bed. Just leaving the house is a struggle but I have to for the school run, shopping and toddler groups. I often feel like I am going to have a heart attack and am now at the point where I think, so what, it will be better than continuing to live like this .

[attheendoftheday]

Oh, and CAB might help with your debt problems.

[OriginalPoster]

Sorry you are having such a hard time. Psychiatric hospitals are the last place to go for peace.

You urgently need to tell your GP /CPN that you feel suicidal. Today.

There are lots of treatments for depression, ask your GP what he/she would do in your situation.

Hope you feel better soon, keep posting, there will be good advice on here.

[ReallyReallyNeedABreak]

I am under the CMHT. They have given me 12 sessions of CBT and have nothing more to offer me. I have a crisis number but I feel in crisis 24 hours a day!

[GodKeepsGiving]

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. I think you should see your GP, but I recently had a similar problem. I have been taking Quiet Life tablets - obviously they don't solve the underlying issues but they take away some of the anxiety and palpitations.

[fuckityfuckfuckfuck]

I think you seriously need to get serious about taking anti anxiety drugs. I'd naver have got better had I not taken mine. ANd fwiw, I do think you CBT practitioner is right. You can't rely on them to be there forever, the whole point of it is that it will give you ways to cope on your own. Go and ask for some medication and actually take it. If nothing else, it'll give you the mental space to sort out the other things that are wrong. When I had anxiety, I found everyday life just too overwhelming. Antianxieties helped me through that fog.

[lesley33]

Do you know what a psychiatric ward is really like? I do. They are full of people who are a danger to themselves or others. In practice this means people hallucinating and hearing things that no-one else can, delusions and who they are and what they are doing, dementia patients and those severley depressed or sedated and so don't really interact. It is not a pleasant environment.

What is more, most people in a psychiatric get little to no counselling.

It sounds like you have a lot of practical problems that would understandably make anyone anxious and depressed. I think you need to start slowly tackling these. For example make an appointment with ctizens advice bureaux about the debt.

Homestart may be a good charity to contact. They have volunteers who would regularly visit you and give you whatever help you need. This could be washing the dishes or looking after your 2 young DC so you could have a sleep.

CBT is meant to treat faulty thinking e.g.There is no point trying to make friends as nobody likes me. If you haven't got faulty thinking CBT won't help. And tbh it sounds more like your major prcatical problems are the issue.

[OriginalPoster]

Have you told CMHT that you are feeling suicidal?

[squeakytoy]

Has your doctor prescribed propanolol to you? I have had that for years and it really does work. I now just take it when I know I am going to be in a situtaion that could cause a panic/anxiety attack.

It isnt an AD, it just works at making you feel less anxious, and will also help all the other symptoms that you are having. But it wont make you feel like you are in a haze or a fog either.

I found this website/chat room to be an absolute godsend too, as there are so many people on there who are going through the exact same thing, and it helped to know that I wasnt the only one feeling as though I was about to drop dead some days.

anxiety forum

[spottypancake]

You sound pretty "sane" to me. I don't think you're going mad.

The problem is that you have a horrendous amount to deal with and if most people were faced with what you have to deal with, they would be a nervous wreck as well.

I agree that you need a break, however not in a psych unit - you just need a break from kids, money stresses etc. Do you have any family support?

Other than that, the only thing I can say is that your youngest sounds very young and as your children get older, things should get easier.

[BruciesDollyDealer]

is it insensitive to ask why you have had 4 kids, to add to the anxiety and stress?