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Oh no! Christmas and my Muslim neighbours.

(44 Posts)
fakenamefornow Fri 26-Dec-14 17:13:45

Shit shit shit.

I sent my neighbours a little Christmas food package a few days ago. It had some mince pies, jam and chutney, all home made by me. They're coming round tonight, with some other friends for a few Christmas drinks and little bit of food. Now I'm normally very careful and if they come round always point out any pork or non halal food so that they can avoid if they want.

Problem is, while I was thinking about this and working out what they can and can't eat I realised that the mince pies have lard in the pasty and suet in the mince. I was planning to serve them tonight (I've made loads!) Should I tell them what I've done? They also have some relatives staying with them that are coming with them. I knew they had relatives staying and so sent enough mince pies for everyone.

What should I do? Please be gentle with me, I know it was a stupid mistake but no malice was intended.

HoHonutty Fri 26-Dec-14 17:16:14

I would not tell them about the ones you've already given them but would tell them that the ones you've made for today aren't pork free.

To be honest they probably haven't eaten them anyway. Mince pies are shit.

littleducks Fri 26-Dec-14 17:17:54

Just point out mince pies as not suitable and say you put lard in these ones. No point in telling them about the ones they have anyway when will just make them feel bad and too late to change it. imo.

fuzzywuzzy Fri 26-Dec-14 17:21:21

I would tell them the mince pies have animal fat in the pastry. If they're eating the ones you've given them they'll know not to.

You made a mistake it's forgiveable, but don't hide it so they can make sure they don't carry on eating food that is prohibited to them.

fakenamefornow Fri 26-Dec-14 17:28:01

They're eaten the others already because they told me how good they were. So, you think don't tell them and tell them that this is a new batch of pies? I made them all back in October and put them in the freezer.

IBrokeTheInternetB4itWasCool Fri 26-Dec-14 17:35:44

If they've already eaten them, don't say anything - there's nothing anyone can do about it now and you'll just make them feel bad. A lot of muslims are not that strict about that sort of thing anyway.

fuzzywuzzy Fri 26-Dec-14 17:43:00

And a lot of Muslims are!

Tell the truth for goodness sakes,

It's not for OP to decide how her neighbours practice their religion. They maybe being polite and not eaten all the pies.

Just say, I've just realise please don't eat the mince pies I put animal fat in them.

Tell them, it won't hurt you in any way.

fakenamefornow Fri 26-Dec-14 17:54:22

I'm sure they have eaten them. How will they feel about it? Is it like if JWs have blood, in that will they think they are damed for this or is it a forgivable sin iyswim? They aren't the strictest of Muslims and will be drinking loads of mulled wine this evening, I don't know about their relatives though.

fakenamefornow Fri 26-Dec-14 17:55:54

I know it won't hurt me, but it might hurt them. Not sure if the damage is already done though.

youbethemummylion Fri 26-Dec-14 17:57:05

If they have already eaten them no good will come from telling them, just let them know about tonight's pies.

fuzzywuzzy Fri 26-Dec-14 18:04:37

Eating it drinking something accidentally that is not allowed is completely forgiven.

However if you purposely let them eat something you know is against their dietary restrictions just to save your own face, then that is vile. And your neighbours won't trust you ever again if they find out.

This thread pretty much underlines for me why I'd politely decline any invitations from anyone but the closest of friends. It's not your beliefs, but it's really really not on to knowingly let them eat something you know for a fact they do not eat for religious reasons.

fuzzywuzzy Fri 26-Dec-14 18:06:50

They aren't sinful for eating something they were told in good faith was halal.

It's not your fault either you forgot.

Just don't let them eat this batch.

littleducks Fri 26-Dec-14 18:10:24

I hadn't thought about them having some left and saying they ate them out of politeness, that is trickier. Aren't mince pies normally an eaten fresh thing? I assimed they would have been long gone by now.

It is forgivable as it was accidental.

TheFourthLobster Fri 26-Dec-14 18:17:42

You are lovely to care. I think you need to be apologetic and admit your mistake, perhaps as they are taking part in an Xmas celebration they are a bit more relaxed than you think they will be?
As others have said, it's not forbidden if they didn't know.

fakenamefornow Fri 26-Dec-14 18:21:07

I didn't purposely do it, as I said I made them back in October and didn't have them in mind when I made them.

fakenamefornow Fri 26-Dec-14 18:25:47

Yes, I'll tell them. I think they'll forgive me, I'm sure it will change our relationship though, they'll never eat anything I make again. I'm more worried about their relatives if I'm honest.

BumWad Fri 26-Dec-14 18:25:57

It is really nice for you to invite them round and have this meal.

You should however tell them the truth, it was a mistake we're all human! flowers

lemisscared Fri 26-Dec-14 18:30:12

if you tell them about tonight then you have to tell them about the others. i mean why would you send halal food one day and non halal the next.

tbh they might beat home now wringing their hands because they regifted your mince pies but didn't want to offend you and wondering how they will get away with not eating them tonight.

i am pretty sure they would know what foodstuff they are allowed to eat if they stick rigidly to a halal diet. they might not be that strict if they drink alcohol.

your call but if you don't say about yesterdays then don't mention at all.

ignorance, after all, is bliss

fakenamefornow Fri 26-Dec-14 18:35:18

It's not a meal, just drinks and a few bits. Not sure they'll come now though.

slightlyworriednc Fri 26-Dec-14 18:35:56

If they drink alcohol then they can't be strict Muslims! I wouldn't serve mince pies tonight at all, but don't mention the ones they've already had.

alteredimages Fri 26-Dec-14 18:39:59

OK, I just wouldn't tell them. I am a muslim and don't eat pork or have alcohol and if I didn't know it would just be one of those things and not a sin in any way. Me finding out later wouldn't change anything and it is almost certainly not the first time they have unwittingly eaten lard.

I would tell them about today's batch though.

DH accidentally ate pork belly at DFs and they are still great friends and DH was not upset as it was just one of those things.

HarrietSchulenberg Fri 26-Dec-14 18:41:36

If they are halal and have been in the UK for more than a year then they will already know that most mince pies contain animal fat in the shredded suet. If you follow a diet that's not mainstream then you find out what you can and can't eat, and if you don't know you ask.

alteredimages Fri 26-Dec-14 18:42:18

If they are having wine they aren't super strict about dietary laws but the alcohol taboo seems to be broken more than the pork taboo amongst the other muslims I know. That said, it really isn't a big deal and I speak as someone who lived on fish for a whole summer because there was no halal meat available where I was living.

livegoldrings Fri 26-Dec-14 18:42:45

I agree if they are drinking alcohol they are not that strict, and probably won't worry about eating pork accidentally.

DrinkleBells Fri 26-Dec-14 18:51:47

Ffs don't mention the last batch, what good would it do. They would just feel regretful about sth they had no control over. Do let them know about this batch though.

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