Can't decide about opening dispute

[Timetofly]

Was thrilled to buy a pair of Irregular Choice shoes I've been wanting for ages. They arrived on Friday, squeezed into a strong polythene bag, no padding or box, which wasn't great... They have fabric "laces" - which are very frayed, and when I undid them the long frayed threads were wrapped around the bow in a way that couldn't possibly happen if you'd tied them, if that makes sense. I keep looking at the fabric part of the shoes and there's something strange about the texture, I'm wondering if the seller washed the shoes in some way. Which would explain frayed threads and also some seeping of something like glue showing on the inside.
I know I'm making them sound awful, they aren't really, but were described as "excellent condition" - which they clearly aren't.
Seller has just replied indignantly to my request to return for a refund saying that the laces were frayed when she brought them, they have only been worn twice, she still has the box (might have been an idea to pack them in it??) and she'll refund if I return in the condition sent, but not postage.
If I open a dispute and win how can I prove they are in the condition she sent them in if disputed? And would I get postage both ways returned?

[lljkk]

I don't think you can force her to pay any postage costs. What was purchase price & what did she charge for postage?

[Timetofly]

Puchase price was about £40. P+P was £6.50.
I was thinking that if she's supplied something that isn't as described then it probably shouldn't leave me £6.50 plus the cost of posting it back out of pocket?
I'd be kind and pack them properly as well.

[LavenderGreen14]

It won't cost £6.50 to return if you return My Hermes or Collect + - you can't force her to pay the return costs, but you will get your £46.50 back plus you can neg if you want to. I would open a dispute if they are not as described.

[Timetofly]

Well, as she is only offering to refund purchase price and not what I paid for her to post I think I'll have to open a dispute. She's a relatively new seller, maybe she doesn't quite get it.
It kind of had me doubting myself - is it enough to return them because all I can definitely evidence with photos is horribly frayed "laces". Well yes I suppose so because whatever she says, they don't sell the shoes like that. And they aren't easily replaced because the fabric is the same pattern as that used on the shoes.
Lovely Abigails Party if anyone is curious.
Thanks for the help.

[nauticant]

Very frayed laces are simply not "excellent condition" so it should be a shoo-in to win a NAD dispute. You'll pay return postage (do send signed-for) but should also get a refund on the postage included in the listing.

What solution are you after? Only return and refund or would you settle for some deal that would leave you with the shoes?

[Timetofly]

I want a full refund. I don't really want to faff around working out how to hem the fabric "laces", particularly as I'm pretty certain something has been done to them. These are expensive shoes, they simply don't come out of the box with suspiciously lumpy fabric and little brown stains inside. I reckon they may have been a bit dirty and an attempt has been made to clean them, resulting in a bit of the glue applied to decorative bits seeping through to the inside. They are like this party shoes
As her reply was a bit indignant and she's insisting that the laces were in this state from new (!) I'm going to go straight to NAD. I'm not getting into silly arguments.

[Housemum]

What were the photos on the listing like? Just want to be sure there's no way she could say you should have known (though sellers like this annoy me - particularly when I probably do myself out of cash by being so scrupulously honest about every defect on stuff I sell!)

[Timetofly]

You can't tell from the photos in the listing. You can't see the small brown stains inside and the laces are tied, you wouldn't see the fraying. To try to describe - when I undid the laces to try the shoes on some of the frayed cotton ends were actually wrapped around the bow, so I had to pull the actual fabric laces through these loops of cotton threads. That's what made me wonder if she'd given them a little rinse or similar, I can't work out how that would happen, even if they were a bit frayed, if you just tied the bow.
As I say, she's quite a new EBayer. I think someone who has sold a lot (like me, but I've never had a return touch wood!!) would have understood that if you have the original box you use it, and that you don't send expensive shoes without any padding. Or, I'm being charitable, she didn't get as much as she hoped and thought she'd get away with it. I buy this make of shoes, I know they don't have curious brown staining inside.

[Timetofly]

Reading back... of course I need to open a NDA, I was being too nice! Obviously needed MN to give me backbone.

[FunkyBoldRibena]

You open an 'item not as described' dispute, return them with proof of delivery and you get your payment and postage back. That's how it works.