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Feel like a failure for using gas & air

(63 Posts)
thebumpyride Wed 14-Mar-18 21:16:21

I had my third baby in October and I know I can't change anything now. But I haven't felt guilty or not good enough until just recently. My labour was 3 hours long and I used the gas and air only for the last 30 minutes, but now I feel so worthless. I can't explain why I'm just really mentally punishing myself for it. My son was 10lbs 2oz and I loved his birth and did feel like the gas and air helped me keep my rhythm of breathing but I spoke to a friend the other day and she made me feel bad about using anything especially as he was my third 😞

OP’s posts: |
Grimmfebruary Wed 14-Mar-18 21:17:34

You need a medal in my eyes, I just had my first and was screaming for anything they would give me!

Stop beating yourself up! You did brilliantly.

Grobagsforever Wed 14-Mar-18 21:17:59

biscuit

BIWI Wed 14-Mar-18 21:18:19

Oh for goodness sake! Don't be ridiculous. Childbirth is painful, even for the swiftest of labours. You had a birth that worked for you and you have (I assume) a perfectly healthy baby. With a baby that size, as well, I'm amazed you didn't need more pain relief! Tell your friend to fuck off.

Houseworkavoider Wed 14-Mar-18 21:18:49

How did you feel about the birth before the conversation with your friend?

SleepFreeZone Wed 14-Mar-18 21:18:55

Do you think you might be depressed OP?

childmindingmumof3 Wed 14-Mar-18 21:19:03

Giving birth isn't something that you can pass or fail.
You can't do it well or badly.
It's no reflection of your worth.

MySockIsWetAgain Wed 14-Mar-18 21:19:38

Gas and air is amazing, unlike your friend.

Do you ever hear men talking about how little pain relief they got during dental surgery?

Tell your friend to mind her own uterus.

DullAndOld Wed 14-Mar-18 21:19:53

for goodness sake, you pushed a baby out and only had a few whiffs of gas and air. that is amazing!

Who does this 'friend' think she is? Don't let anyone make you feel bad.

BakedBeans47 Wed 14-Mar-18 21:20:41

Why would you feel guilty or a failure? You don’t get any medals for not taking pain relief when you need it.

Foodylicious Wed 14-Mar-18 21:20:42

God, not to be awful about your friend, but she can f%^* off with her unwarranted, ridiculous judgement if you.
Those are not the actions of a friend.
Sounds like you did awesome smile

Does sound like you could have a bit of postnatal depression or anxiety though.
Do you feel you could talk to your HV?

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry Wed 14-Mar-18 21:20:43

You don’t win prizes for an unmedicated birth. Fuck me, take the drugs. No one would ever judge you if you said you’d had a tooth extraction under sedation/ pain relief and you are pushing a baby out!
FYI a friend who makes you feel bad for this IS NOT A FUCKING FRIEND.

CurlyhairedAssassin Wed 14-Mar-18 21:20:53

IN The nicest possible way, get a massive grip. You’re being ridiculous and I wonder if it’s just hormones talking, as it certainly isn’t sensible to feel guilty at having used gas and air! Unless you’re American in which case it may seem unusual to use that here even though we’ve all used it for years and years!

ApplesTheHare Wed 14-Mar-18 21:22:07

Are you ok OP? How are you feeling more generally? The fact that something so inconsequential is bothering you so much sounds like a sign of pnd. Look after yourself flowers

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry Wed 14-Mar-18 21:22:21

Literally ever pp saying the same thing.

Prestonsflowers Wed 14-Mar-18 21:23:07

I think that your ‘friend’ was in the wrong here.
Not every birth is the same, please don’t give yourself a hard time.
You’re not worthless because you had gas and air.
Give yourself a huge pat on the back for delivering a 10lb 2oz baby with only gas and air!!
I remember the birth of my son and he was only 7lb 6oz and that was no picnic
Good for you
💐💐 for you and enjoy your baby

TheyBuiltThePyramids Wed 14-Mar-18 21:23:55

I think you need to speak to GP or HV if you genuinely feel like this. Did you feel bad about it before? I had all the drugs and gas and air on offer for what its worth. It hurt a lot.

VioletteValentia Wed 14-Mar-18 21:24:49

You had a healthy baby. Why should this even matter? There’s no medals for it.

Pennywhistle Wed 14-Mar-18 21:25:28

I used gas and air, had an epidural and a csection.

I don’t feel in the least guilty and anyone who suggested I should would get short shrift.

QforCucumber Wed 14-Mar-18 21:25:43

Has you friend given birth 3 times? Or even once? Fuck that, pain relief or not noone gets a real for having it. It's available for a reason. I had morphine for mine - was fab.

Tuckingfypo Wed 14-Mar-18 21:26:05

Bloody hell, DD2 was born in just over an hour using gas and air and I felt like I deserved a bloody medal for that, I didn't get the epidural I wanted and my labour progressed too quickly for me to get anything else, I would have taken anything!

QforCucumber Wed 14-Mar-18 21:26:49

* a medal

FellOutOfBed2wice Wed 14-Mar-18 21:29:02

I had both of my children with just gas and air.... feel very proud of myself! As should you OP.

TheyBuiltThePyramids Wed 14-Mar-18 21:31:17

I swear if men had to give birth someone would have developed some uber painkiller thing that didn't affect the baby by now.

BakedBeans47 Wed 14-Mar-18 21:31:32

I’m not even getting what there could be to feel bad about? It’s gas and air. It doesn’t cause any impact or damage to the baby.

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