I feel devastated, broken hearted, I can't find my arse from my elbow but I feel weird. I feel like I've got butterflies in my stomach every minute of the day. From waking up until going to brd theyre there. Also, y'know that feeling you get when somebody makes you jump, and your heart leaps from chest to stomach and back again? I feel like that all the time, like my heart is jumping up and down all the time. Is that normal?
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Bereavement
twinklefoot ·
29/01/2017 01:23
Sorry about your DF Thyme. Yes I know the feeling a few years on now and I still feel like you at times but life does feel OK.
PutDownThatLaptop ·
29/01/2017 01:54
You may find that talking to a bereavement counsellor will help. These are such early days, your body is experiencing shock and grief and these emotions are so strong that we feel them physically. Talk to people around you and to us on here. Many of us have been where you are now and can completely relate to the emotions you are feeling.
VimFuego101 ·
29/01/2017 02:34
For me, the worst bit was waking up and having that horrible feeling that something bad had happened, but it took me a moment to remember what. It's awful. I hope you have someone to lean on.
pseudonymity ·
29/01/2017 02:41
Yes, it's normal. It's anxiety from what is happening to you. It's truly horrible. You can talk to a gp to get some drugs to help with it in the very short term if it's really overwhelming.
Cousinit ·
29/01/2017 03:26
Sorry for your loss OP. Yes it is normal. Grief comes out in so many different ways. I sometimes felt the loss of my mum as physical pain. I completely understand what you mean about getting your head around where he has gone. I too wanted to explode. It is truly awful. My mum passed away three months ago and those episodes have spread out more now so I often have days when I feel almost normal and hopefully you will too. The pain doesn't go away though and I'm
afraid it never will. There is a brilliant quote on grief that I read here and found quite helpful. Will see if I can find it for you.
FatBottomedGal ·
30/01/2017 15:12
I'm so sorry for your loss. I felt the same when my DF passed away last year. As much as it doesn't help to hear that it gets better, it will, and you just learn to cope.
I went back to work a week after he died, and took 2 days off for the funeral. Speak to your employers and explain how you feel (if possible) and see what they suggest, but I found mine were incredibly understanding.
I hope you're ok OP
mineofuselessinformation ·
30/01/2017 22:35
Oh, Thyme, no-one tells you how hard writing that card is do they? The words will come, even if they are just how you feel at the exact moment you manage to write them.
There is no right or wrong in the situation (my DF died three months ago - it's still bloody hard).
Do what you feel is right - it's all you can do. My heart goes out to you.
TheCakes ·
30/01/2017 22:40
Was it sudden? I lost my dad suddenly, and also BIL and they both had me in a massive spin.
It's very surreal, the early days of grief. I barely remember anything of the year after my dad died. The scraps I do remember are like watching a film of someone else's life.
It's so hard. Things like writing the card - what do you say? I just drew a picture, which sounds odd, but I didn't have the words.
Don't worry. There is no normal or not normal. Take as long as you need.
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