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To think my brother is a tosser

(40 Posts)
silentcatastrophe Tue 03-Nov-09 17:52:27

My brother travelled half the country at the weekend to go to a party (one day) and was asked by my dad to get a present from him to my dcs. He didn't call or try to make any contact at all. When I spoke to him today he said that he would only call people he was going to see.

When I spoke to him last week, he said, oh see you at home, bla bla. He's never been to our house before.

Although I risk sounding like a paranoid nutter, I think he was deliberately avoiding us. His wife is ALWAYS rude, totally unprovoked, and although I could ask her if they have had any more visits from the police, SS etc, I don't see the point. She also hears voices and is not involved with any spiritualist churches. My SIL doesn't like me, and I rather suspect that she has been putting the brakes on. I don't like her either, but could tolerate her better were she not always so shudderingly rude.

It is sad that my dcs don't know their cousins, having only met the elder one a handful of times and always under strange circumstances.

For the record, my other brother avoids SIL like the plague for the same reasons.

AnyFucker Tue 03-Nov-09 17:54:34

am not sure of the point of this post

or that I even understand it......

silentcatastrophe Tue 03-Nov-09 18:00:00

I am pretty peeved that my brother could not be bothered to contact me to let me know that he had presents for my children and was leaving them somewhere for me to pick up. I think it's beyond rude.

IHateWinter Tue 03-Nov-09 18:00:08

You need to make your post a little clearer.

iLikeDots Tue 03-Nov-09 18:07:54

OP... don't really understand the post. Could you clarify ?

Lexilicious Tue 03-Nov-09 18:14:36

brother was delivering presents from dad?

silentcatastrophe Tue 03-Nov-09 18:22:34

I'll try. Sorry, I am v. upset and obviously not being very articulate.

Last week, I had a (friendly) conversation with my brother in which he said he was coming up to stay near us for the weekend and was looking forward to seeing us. My father gave him some things to bring with him for my dcs, on the assumption that we would at least meet.

In the event, my brother came and went without a squeak, without telling me that he was here or what he had done with my dcs' presents.

I am just slightly reeling that my brother should bother to travel about 250 miles across the country to within spitting distance, not bother to make any contact whatsoever, and fail to make sure I knew what to do about the gifts from my dad.

Is this any clearer? If I'm still unclear, I'll try the Stately Home thread. It is all very dysfunctional!

ImSoNotTelling Tue 03-Nov-09 18:24:40

So brother came and had presents but didn't bother giving them/calling/seeing you and you think your SIL is behind it?

She also hears voices and has been involved with SS etc?

Is that it?

ImSoNotTelling Tue 03-Nov-09 18:26:18

x-post sorry slow typing baby on me

silentcatastrophe Tue 03-Nov-09 18:31:12

Basically, yes.

SerendipitousHarlot Tue 03-Nov-09 18:34:32

What's the spiritualist church got to do with it? Sorry.

SerendipitousHarlot Tue 03-Nov-09 18:36:34

Oh it's ok - I see what you mean now. I was all ready to get the hump at you slating spiritualism wink

WoTmania Tue 03-Nov-09 18:37:47

I think it's not member of spirtualist church i.e hearing voices that can't be passed off as 'the Voice of God'.

YANBU

famishedass Tue 03-Nov-09 18:39:32

If his wife hears voices, has the police and SS at her door, I'd say he's probably got more pressing things to attend to than bringing your dc their belongings, sorry.

ImSoNotTelling Tue 03-Nov-09 18:40:19

Um well on the face of it he sounds like a tosser, yes. Have you spoken to him about it?

AnyFucker Tue 03-Nov-09 18:42:01

well, I understand a bit better now

I am really not sure why you have your knickers in such a twist, though

and what does SIL hearing voices have to do with it ?

bizarre

IHateWinter Tue 03-Nov-09 19:05:28

Oh i understand Now. How hurtful. He could at least have popped round and dropped off the presents for DCs. Doesn't he care about your DCs at all considering he's their Uncle. Didn't he want to see you? He sounds selfish.

Try not to let it worry you and get you down too much. If it makes you feel better, my brother once travelled all the way from somerset via National Express but I only found out he was around because he went into town and DCs and I bumped into him in the shop angry He would not have told me he was around or popped to see me and dcs otherwise.

Unfortunately you can't pick your family though. My advice is look to friends to fill the gaps family don't fill or you'll always be wishing they were different. (Not that I still don't do that myself from time to time - you've given me a mental reminder)

iLikeDots Tue 03-Nov-09 19:09:06

I understand a bit better.

Still don't understand what SIL hearing voices and the police/SS at their door has any significance to you being annoyed that the presents from your dad weren't delivered for your DC's

Or am I missing something?

shineoncrazyfirecracker Tue 03-Nov-09 19:14:10

Message withdrawn

silentcatastrophe Tue 03-Nov-09 19:19:39

I do think it's odd to go and see all your other relations in the area, apart from one.

ImSoNotTelling Tue 03-Nov-09 19:22:25

Have you spoken to him though? Asked him what happened? Are you/were you close? Is he usually quite good with this stuff or not?

Me and my bro get on fine for two people with nothing in common, but he is a very rude and selfish person generally. This is easily the sort of thing he would do (although in practice he still lives 5 mins up the road with my mum. But when I go round he rarely comes down to say hello, even when I had a new baby with me).

MyCatIsABiggerBastardThanYours Tue 03-Nov-09 19:28:13

OK - so I get the bit about bro not coming to see you and yes, I would be annoyed at that. And you think this is because his wife, your SIL, has put the kybosh on him seeing you - is that right?

And now I see that he seems to have gone to see everyone else but you. Again, yes I would be annoyed and probably ask him why.

Not sure what all the hearing voices bit is about though.

silentcatastrophe Tue 03-Nov-09 19:45:04

My SIL hates me, I mean really hates me. I asked my bro about it, and he said, oh don't worry she hates everyone. So, yes, she probably did put the kybost on my seeing him.

Defluffmyfanjo Tue 03-Nov-09 19:51:42

Shineone - get a grip grin its not the clues on 3-2-1 you know!!

shineoncrazyfirecracker Tue 03-Nov-09 20:04:25

Message withdrawn

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