To think my brother is a tosser

[silentcatastrophe]

My brother travelled half the country at the weekend to go to a party (one day) and was asked by my dad to get a present from him to my dcs. He didn't call or try to make any contact at all. When I spoke to him today he said that he would only call people he was going to see.

When I spoke to him last week, he said, oh see you at home, bla bla. He's never been to our house before.

Although I risk sounding like a paranoid nutter, I think he was deliberately avoiding us. His wife is ALWAYS rude, totally unprovoked, and although I could ask her if they have had any more visits from the police, SS etc, I don't see the point. She also hears voices and is not involved with any spiritualist churches. My SIL doesn't like me, and I rather suspect that she has been putting the brakes on. I don't like her either, but could tolerate her better were she not always so shudderingly rude.

It is sad that my dcs don't know their cousins, having only met the elder one a handful of times and always under strange circumstances.

For the record, my other brother avoids SIL like the plague for the same reasons.

[leamac]

hi there

I would just like to say that I understand your are upset but I wouldn't blame SIL as your brother is an adult, however in his defence as I have been in this situation if he travels 200 miles then surely it is up to you to travel the rest to see him, I live 360 miles from my family and if I am good enough to travel that to see them then surely they can all meet in the one place so I get to see everyone as time is always a factor

[silentcatastrophe]

You have hit the nail on the head, ginny! My family is so fkucked up and it is hard to be reminded of just how bad it was. LOL @ StillSquiffy. You are more accurate than you think!

Sorry about the misunderstandings and thank you for bearing with me! I can't do the 3-2-1 gesture either! I'm so glad people are trying!

[ginnny]

[StillSquiffy]

I'm sure your SIL doesn't hate you.

It is probably just her imaginary friends putting her up to it.

[Fruitbeard]

Love how this thread has descended into everyone trying to do the 3-2-1 gesture

[GibbonInARibbon]

[GibbonInARibbon]

I feel your pain Shiney.

One day I'll be able to master it...one day.

[GibbonInARibbon]

I bloody loved ted rogers and his super speed 3-2-1. I still try to do that now.

[Defluffmyfanjo]

I can't tell whether your crossed out age is 38 or 30!! It can't be 30 - I'm allergic to young people!

[modmum]

Just had something similar. SIL and family in our neck of the woods for weekend to visit distant cousin not a word to us before.
No suggestions to meet up 1/2 way and let DD meet her other cousins. They haven't visited us for 3+ years and that was a flying visit on their holiday. They seem to be happy to visit his sister/family every school holiday - a longer journey that to visit us.
We've always drop in (invited & expected to do this) to see them on the way to or from holidays etc when we pass near to them, visited for the day to drop off Christmas presents(6 hrs plus round trip).
SIL told DH in phone call the week after they'd gone home. My response "last time we go out of our way to see them then".

[Defluffmyfanjo]

Ive got spd, so its been a round of physio, attempting and failing to get off sofa etc. All very irritating.

Back now though and as I'm housebound will be lurking around MN a lot probably!

Seriously am I a bit thick or were those 3-2-1 clues totally incomprehensible??! And I'm only 34 you cheeky mare.

OP - As you were, even though you're mad as a box of frogs, pray continue

[Defluffmyfanjo]

Shineone - get a grip its not the clues on 3-2-1 you know!!

[silentcatastrophe]

My SIL hates me, I mean really hates me. I asked my bro about it, and he said, oh don't worry she hates everyone. So, yes, she probably did put the kybost on my seeing him.

[MyCatIsABiggerBastardThanYours]

OK - so I get the bit about bro not coming to see you and yes, I would be annoyed at that. And you think this is because his wife, your SIL, has put the kybosh on him seeing you - is that right?

And now I see that he seems to have gone to see everyone else but you. Again, yes I would be annoyed and probably ask him why.

Not sure what all the hearing voices bit is about though.

[ImSoNotTelling]

Have you spoken to him though? Asked him what happened? Are you/were you close? Is he usually quite good with this stuff or not?

Me and my bro get on fine for two people with nothing in common, but he is a very rude and selfish person generally. This is easily the sort of thing he would do (although in practice he still lives 5 mins up the road with my mum. But when I go round he rarely comes down to say hello, even when I had a new baby with me).

[silentcatastrophe]

I do think it's odd to go and see all your other relations in the area, apart from one.

[iLikeDots]

I understand a bit better.

Still don't understand what SIL hearing voices and the police/SS at their door has any significance to you being annoyed that the presents from your dad weren't delivered for your DC's

Or am I missing something?

[IHateWinter]

Oh i understand Now. How hurtful. He could at least have popped round and dropped off the presents for DCs. Doesn't he care about your DCs at all considering he's their Uncle. Didn't he want to see you? He sounds selfish.

Try not to let it worry you and get you down too much. If it makes you feel better, my brother once travelled all the way from somerset via National Express but I only found out he was around because he went into town and DCs and I bumped into him in the shop He would not have told me he was around or popped to see me and dcs otherwise.

Unfortunately you can't pick your family though. My advice is look to friends to fill the gaps family don't fill or you'll always be wishing they were different. (Not that I still don't do that myself from time to time - you've given me a mental reminder)

[AnyFucker]

well, I understand a bit better now

I am really not sure why you have your knickers in such a twist, though

and what does SIL hearing voices have to do with it ?

bizarre