to be a bit miffed about giving away baby clothes DS2 has grown out off?

[ChickandDuck]

Sister has asked for baby clothes as she is skint. Before you flame me, this is her second DC and she couldn't afford the first. TBH she, IMO, was massivly selfish to get pregnant again, but hey ho, I did, so of course, she will (both her pregnancies were anounced not long after the birth of my 2 DC's ).

I plan to have another baby and so this time round purposely spent more money on quality baby clothes that will stand the test of time. But now it looks like they'll all be bagged up and given away to my sister, again, and I'll have to fork out for new again when/if new baby comes along.

I guess it's annoying that she feels she can carry on having babies, and let everyone else pick up the tab (parents also help put financially).

[MorrisZapp]

I don't get it.

Why do you have to give your baby clothes away?

[colditz]

Say you are keeping them.

[pinkteddy]

I don't understand why you can't just politely say you are sorry but will be needing them for baby no 2 when it comes along?

[ChickandDuck]

Because she's asked, and she has no money to buy any clothes. I feel like I can't say no.

[sweetnitanitro]

Can't you loan them to her and get them back when her new DC has outgrown them? I have this arrangement with my cousin.

[onadietcokebreak]

Just say sorry. We found it massively expensive to kit ourselves out again this time round after we gave most of our stuff away last time and we have both agreed not to do it again. Sorry

[CatherineofMumbles]

Won't she give them back after her baby has outgrown them?

[elmotaughtddtousethepotty]

why don't you just give her the ones you know you won't use again - stuff you got given and don't like, stuff that has awkward fastenings etc or some cheapy plain babygros and keep the stuff you purposely spent more money on for your next new baby?

you keep some family peace and help her out a bit but don't have to compromise your own plans.

[pinkteddy]

If she has no money she can get them from charity shop or freecycle. You are not a charity!!

[Ledodgy]

There sounds like there are deeper issues here.

[Firawla]

just tell her sorry im thinking of having another dc so would like to keep them in case its another boy. im sure she can atleast afford to kit hers out from tesco/primark etc, you can get things very cheap these days. can she not go without some things her self in order to provide for her kids?

[ChickandDuck]

TBH, I don't really want to let on that I'm considering having another.

Also if I said no I think my mum would be a bit 'she's your little sister'!

[onadietcokebreak]

Or say sorry no we bagged them up and gave them to charity already.

I do like elmos idea though.

[ChickandDuck]

elmotaughtddtousethepotty - fab idea, but she's already mentioned a few bits that she would quite like. (she's actually scanned DC2's wardrobe and making notes by the sound of it!)

Ledodgy - your probably right!!

So you guys don't think it would be unreasonable to say no? Thought I would be flamed!

[HerBewitcheditude]

I don't really understand this.

Maybe it's just me but tbh my DS is now 10 and I have very very rarely had to buy him any clothes (or DD 7)

In 10 years of being a parent, so many sackfuls of second hand clothes and presents of new clothes as christmas and birthday presents have come my way, that I've never really worried about paying for clothing. Even shoes, people give me Clarks vouchers and M&S vouchers etc. at Christmas and I use them throughout the year. Clothing my DC's is really cheap. Is that rare? Do you not have people giving you loads of cast offs?

[colditz]

Well, you have options. You could tell her no, and get your own way on this completely.

You could scrat around the charity shops one afternoon, get a collection together for pennies and give her that.

or you could let her have all the lovely baby clothes and keep, for yourself, a seething ball of resentment.

[Firawla]

@ scanning wardrobe and demanding certain items, very rude!!!
well just give the stuff ur not so keen on then you can say you gave a few things, and then if she asks for those specific items just give some kind of non commital response like oh yes hmm will have a look for them at some point, i have packed them away somewhere...
i wouldn't agree to lend them to her either, doesn't seem a good comprimise because i doubt things would be given back in the same condition after being used by another baby and you dno if she will take care.
it would be different if she had a different attitude but getting the feel she feels "entitled" to the clothes and you have had to give her all your stuff last time too so its just not on!

[elmotaughtddtousethepotty]

if you don't want to give her the ones she's scanned and said she wants, just say you want to keep those particular items for sentimental reasons. that's perfectly reasonable.

[HerBewitcheditude]

ooh yes go to a jumble sale and buy a bag of clothes for 50p and give her that.

And then you can be all offended if she's not grateful.

[CarGirl]

Just say sorry I've already got plans!

You could either me keeping them or selling them neither of which is her business.

Gave her the few more used bits that you wouldn't keep or sell.

Suggest that she tries on freecycle & ebay.

[onadietcokebreak]

"fab idea, but she's already mentioned a few bits that she would quite like. (she's actually scanned DC2's wardrobe and making notes by the sound of it!)"

cheeky cow!

[MillyMollyMoo]

I had this with a friend, I was very very lucky when I had DD1 I worked in the city and my baby had so much Christain Dior stuff it looked like she was sponsored by them, so when my friend had a girl after her son she assumed she'd be getting her paws on the good stuff, which I put aside for DD's daughter if she has one as it's very classic good quality stuff, bloody rude to assume if you ask me.
Plus it might teach her kids cost money so don't even think about a 3rd.

[onadietcokebreak]

"In 10 years of being a parent, so many sackfuls of second hand clothes and presents of new clothes as christmas and birthday presents have come my way, that I've never really worried about paying for clothing. Even shoes, people give me Clarks vouchers and M&S vouchers etc. at Christmas and I use them throughout the year. Clothing my DC's is really cheap. Is that rare? Do you not have people giving you loads of cast offs?"

sadly no. my family live to far away and all my friends are either behind me in the baby stakes or so far ahead all casts offs have gone.

[ChickandDuck]

Firawla - your right, she won't take care, she wouldn't need to after all she didn't pay for them, and she doesn't need to worry about saving them because she'll get given stuff next time.

Was in two minds about putting this on - thought you would all say I'm mean! Thank you for all your ideas, charity shop in particular, although I think she'd be a bit 'I didn't see your DC in any of this '!

Think I will keep back the really good stuff and fish out the rest, can do it now without feeling like I'm really tight!

[CarGirl]

Why don't you buy her a big bundle off ebay as her new baby gift?