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AIBU?

for my husband ignoring verrugas/warts in his genitals?

57 replies

pinner4 · 13/10/2009 22:20

Hi!! Please, help!!
A few months ago, I've notice a couple of small verrugas in my husband genitals, I told him to get check and nothing happened, until they star getting bigger, so I did get quite piss off, and tell him to go and have it check, so he finally went, and he has to have them remove, they don't know yet if they are warts or verrugas, so they suggest I go and have a smear myself.
I feel angry, frustrated, and disgusted.

OP posts:

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ErikaMaye · 13/10/2009 22:21

Why were you still having intercourse with them after you'd noticed..?

HuwEdwards · 13/10/2009 22:21

genital warts need treating.

ScaryFucker · 13/10/2009 22:23

I hope you are no longer having sex with him

BiteOfFun · 13/10/2009 22:23

I don't understand your post very well (is English not your first language?), but verrucas are warts on your feet, so I wouldn't worry about them. What sort of help do you need?

pinner4 · 13/10/2009 22:26

Thanks for your answers,
yes, I did. And now I'm completly off.
He's very caring, attentive and loving, but he keeps forgetting things all the time, too focus on his job and to be honest, he does help me lots at home and with the baby. So, is my fault for not stopping having sex with him, but I'm not made of stone!!

OP posts:

ErikaMaye · 13/10/2009 22:29

I don't see how you can be annoyed at having to go and have a smear if you continued to have sex with him after noticing this.

pinner4 · 13/10/2009 22:30

Hi BiteofFun, english is not my first language. I need to know if I'm right to be angry with him for not having it check before, and not thinking it is important; or perhaps with myself for not stopping having sex with him, and force him to go to GP.

OP posts:

ScaryFucker · 13/10/2009 22:32

have you thought if he has had genital warts, that you may have passed them to him ?

although he does sound a bit of a feckwit for "forgetting", you must make sure you get checked out too

PommePoire · 13/10/2009 22:36

Warts are a type of infection caused by viruses and therefore, are extremely infectious. Genital warts must be treated by your doctor and if YOU have them OP they may have formed inside the vagina or cervix where obviously you would have no idea. In which case, as Scaryfucker says YOU may have passed them to HIM. Either way, you must get checked out.

pinner4 · 13/10/2009 22:36

I find a bit depressing that he keeps forgeting lots of things all the time, that I have to be checking everything, he seems to have a very selective memory, 'cause at work that doesn't happen. I know that mens are not very good multi-tasking, but I find very difficult having to repeat the same things all the time.
That's why I'm annoyed, not for having a smear test, is the fact that he keeps listening things, and not bothering!

OP posts:

pinner4 · 13/10/2009 22:38

I don't think it was me, 'cause I have a full chek before I have the baby, 2 years ago, and it came clean.

OP posts:

Megglevache · 13/10/2009 22:38

Pinner what is your first lanuguage?

ScaryFucker · 13/10/2009 22:39

I have one of those too, pinner4

it is very tiring actually to have to do the remembering, organising and just generally thinking for the whole household

as my kids have got older, I have made a choice to opt out more and let the other members of my family get themselves in all sorts of crises (within reason)

I sympathise. But you are waaaay withing your rights to be royally pissed off with him for not doing this. I expect he still wanted his jollies, didn't he ?

facebookaddict · 13/10/2009 22:40

How long have you been together? - assuming more than a few months so aren't you asking the question HOW did he get them.

Either 1) he caught them before you got married (in which case they would not just have appeared now), 2) you had them and gave them to him (again you would have noticed a while ago), 3) he (or you) has brought them into the relationship via sex with someone else.......

pinner4 · 13/10/2009 22:41

But when we started dating, 8 years ago, he just went to a medical check out, 'cause his ex-girlfriend has had some sort of genital problem, and told him to go to get check him self. He says it came clean, and now he doesn't remember what did she had.

OP posts:

facebookaddict · 13/10/2009 22:42

Okay Pommepoire seems to suggest you could have had them and not known but unlikely.. esp if you had test and were all clear then faithful...

JustAnotherManicMummy · 13/10/2009 22:42

Umm where do you think he contracted them? Or should that be who?

addictedtosuckingblood · 13/10/2009 22:42

facebookaddict i was just thinking the very same thing.

op the real question you should be asking is HOW did he get them, who has he or you been having sex with?

genetal warts dont just appear, they are an STI

Georgimama · 13/10/2009 22:43

I'm a bit confused. How did he get them in the first place?

JustAnotherManicMummy · 13/10/2009 22:43

x-posted!

facebookaddict · 13/10/2009 22:44

Ah, sounds like perhaps he did have them before you got married although seriously, does anyone know?....can it stay unnoticed that long?...

If you are not worried about HOW then great. Perhaps I have a horrible suspicious mind!

You definitely need to both be checked out and both treated or you'll never be rid.

addictedtosuckingblood · 13/10/2009 22:47

facebook i also have a horrid suspicious mind, and op says that he came back clean, i didnt think warts was something that did stay undetected?

i'm very open to being corrected tho

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PommePoire · 13/10/2009 22:49

I agree it's unlikely the OP had them all along and didn't know but it is possible that she as caught them from her husband since. The point is she needs to get checked for own health.

You need to make him understand that genital warts are very contagious and (compared to warts on the hands or other parts of the body) quite hard to remove. Warts in the genital area can be removed, as he been told at the check up he had, but there's no cure for the viral infection that causes the warts. This means that the warts may come back even after they have been removed.

If he doesn't get it dealt with they will just get worse. His forgetfulness in this situation is surely because he's embarrassed and bit scared of being treated?

facebookaddict · 13/10/2009 22:51

Hmmmm....hate to sound negative Pinner4 but am sure that it wouldn't stay dormant and unnoticed for 8yrs...

think he has been naughty...

pinner4 · 13/10/2009 22:52

My first language is Spanish.
And honestly, sex just happend with him since we meet, 8 years ago.
And they say you never can say that you know somebody, but I'll find very, very, very surprising that he has been playing away.
He is too focus on his job, and sometimes i feel quite annoyed that I want more sex than him, 'cause he works lots of hours, and very stressful job.

Sometimes I tell him that it feels weird that I want more sex than him, usually is the man who wants more sex and the woman is tired, he's not handsome, normal looking, I'm much better looking that him, and I know he fancy me lots, .........

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