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...to have kicked H out over this?

(60 Posts)
feralgirl Wed 05-Aug-09 16:37:17

1. Been acting weird, shaved his pubes, goes out at every available opportunity.

2. Last night I found pics on his phone sent to him by a girl he works with with her tits out and comments such as "I want you suckin' my tits". He says she sent them to him "by accident". I'd never heard of or met this girl before.

3. This Facebook conversation, found when I snooped this morning:

H:
28 June at 08:17
i miss u! miss texting you xxx

Her:
28 June at 17:38
Miss u
Had enough here-another barney!! Completely fucked off.
Sorry-love u x

H:
28 June at 19:39
want u h***!! bored of it all now!! miss u so much xxx

Her:
29 June at 18:23
Wot bored of me?!!
Never i know!! xxxx

H:
29 June at 18:24
where's my text....?

4. The fact that his Facebook status at 10.40 pm on 1st July was "ahhhhhhh what a day!!!!!! again please!!!" This was the day that I went back to work and that evening we'd been for our first session with Relate. He'd seemed really pissed off and miserable after the counselling. One minute before he updated his status, he'd sent her a Facebook message saying "lush!!!! More??? xxx"

He denies everything.

randomtask Wed 05-Aug-09 16:39:41

No I'd say you were perfectly reasonable.

Someone I knew went to Relate with his wife so he could say he'd tried to make his marriage work.

Maybe you should talk to him again when he admits what's going on but, until he's honest with you, definitely don't.

What a twat.

Hope you're okay sad

feralgirl Wed 05-Aug-09 16:41:39

Feeling much better since I dumped all his stuff at the front desk in his work (he works in a supermarket so v public) and made a bit of a scene... Not exactly dignified but I felt MUCH better afterwards.

HecatesTwopenceworth Wed 05-Aug-09 16:46:54

Nope. Not unreasonable. It's pretty clear what's going on. Well done for having the strength to not put up with that type of shit.

How can he deny it? Does he deny sending the messages? You have proof ffs. I hate that. Even when caught they don't have the guts to just own up to what they've done. cowardly bastards.

What do you plan to do now?

randomtask Wed 05-Aug-09 16:47:20

Oh dear!!

At least now he'll be facing it at work. Bet he's pretending you're nuts right now....

mrsjammi Wed 05-Aug-09 16:48:14

Message withdrawn

feralgirl Wed 05-Aug-09 16:54:24

Not sure. He's busy convincing his family that he's innocent and just "not a wordsmith" hmm We're in horrific amounts of debt, have just bought a house so will obviously be in negative equity and we've got an 8 month old baby.

Depends on whether he admits what he's been up to, the little weasel. I think he's just shitting it because he's a PT shop asistant who earns FA and I'm a teacher so get a decent wage.

Forgot to mention that when asked why he kept the photos if they were accidental, he said "I found them exciting" and that she didn't know he'd got them, which imo is a bit stalky. Either way he's a dirty little sod isn't he?

MummyDragon Wed 05-Aug-09 16:55:23

Oh lordy, bless you, of COURSE YANBU at all - well done for having the strength to kick the bugger man out, and I am sending you loads of positive thoughts and good wishes to stay strong, and hugs to you x

lucky1979 Wed 05-Aug-09 16:57:14

I think that's more than reasonable. Sounds like she's got a partner as well, and I bet the reality of having your husband suddenly single and available having been kicked out is going to be different from the "fun" of a sneaky affair.

Really good for you for standing up for yourself.

GeorgeTheSlitheen Wed 05-Aug-09 16:57:28

He sounds like a horrible little cretin.

You're well rid !

HecatesTwopenceworth Wed 05-Aug-09 16:57:29

really? have you sent his family that transcript? I think you should. If he's telling them about it and spinning it, they should see it!

feralgirl Wed 05-Aug-09 16:57:29

Mrsjammi, it wasn't on the wall, I logged in as him and found the conversation in his messages. A bit sneaky admittedly but justified I think.

CantThinkofFunnyName Wed 05-Aug-09 16:57:40

YANBU! Feel for you and I agree that he is probably now just sh*tting himself because you are the bread-winner. Keep strong x

HecatesTwopenceworth Wed 05-Aug-09 16:58:47

re the shaven pubes - do you have to do that if you've got crabs? just wondering if he's been doing more than messages!

randomtask Wed 05-Aug-09 16:59:12

I wouldn't go near him until he's decided to grow up. If he's a part time shop assistant he's not really helping you out massively financially anyway. Can you cut costs and afford your house even just for a little while?

I hope you've kept copies of all the info you found. If he wasn't a 'wordsmith' then it would be someone else sending messages a few times from his facebook account. Surely he noticed?! Twat.

As for keeping the photos, also twat.

You're so much better off without him.

SixtyFootDoll Wed 05-Aug-09 16:59:40

YANBU

feralgirl Wed 05-Aug-09 17:00:45

Hecate, I got a text from his mum saying that she believed him so I sent her the conversation straight away! I had been somewhat childish and had a bit of a "play" blush with Facebook at the same time so he's contacted them and had them take it all down but - clever me - I'd saved a copy of the web pages! Ha ha!

I've done my day of immature evilness (including kicking his XBox down the stairs grin), I shall now be assuming the moral high ground.

ginnny Wed 05-Aug-09 17:00:49

YANBU
There is no way he can wriggle out of it. He's caught red handed.
What an arsehole - going to Relate with you as well angry
Let her have him - see how long it is before he does it to her.
Hope you are OK. Its a horrible feeling isn't it. sad
Stay strong.

ginnny Wed 05-Aug-09 17:01:24

Forgot to say shock at him shaving his pubes.
How wierd!!!!!

TheCrackFox Wed 05-Aug-09 17:03:57

YANBU

Get a good lawyer.

beanieb Wed 05-Aug-09 17:04:02

Good for you for kicking him out straight away. Just don't let him back.

feralgirl Wed 05-Aug-09 17:04:08

Random I reckon I can blag the bank into letting me do interest only repayments on the mortgage for a while until the market picks up and we can sell. The bills will be a problem and the mountains of debt but, fuck it, I'll manage. Not really sure where I stand legally though, anyone know?

feralgirl Wed 05-Aug-09 17:05:54

I think the pube thing is because he read somewhere that it would make his cock look bigger. Shame it's not that simple eh?

beanieb Wed 05-Aug-09 17:07:06

Did you make a note of the number the pictures of the work woman came from?

randomtask Wed 05-Aug-09 17:07:12

Not sure about legally but surely if you bring up your child rather than him, there's no way you'd have to give him money. He'd have to 'provide' for you both so you never know, you might end up better off!!

DH is a teacher and the banks are very trusting of him because of it, so hopefully you should be fine with that.

Glad you saved it all and made sure his Mum knows. He sounds like he's about 12....

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