To think this is a bit unfair and to remove daughter?

[TheBigPeachy]

My dd is 9 she started at a local performaning arts group age 4 she's always really liked it.
There are usually 3 shows a year. In her section there are around 15 children.
Dd has never had a named part since she started. Which is fine other people might be better suited to the roles etc etc.
However it's became more apparent that the children 5 or so of them tend to always get the main roles. These children are the same ones that pay for private singing tutorials with the group leader.
Dd came home heartbroken after auditioning for 2 weeks and again not getting a named role.
She's now saying she doesn't want to go back there (she's really upset bless her). I've let things cool and said we could carry on, find a different hobby maybe but she's said she wants to carry on but not there.
Would you move her? Is it a bit unfair that it's the same few kids every time?

[Xmassprout]

A lot of places are like that unfortunately. It's really hurtful to not be one of the favoured few, been there and got the t shirt.

The best children (or the favourite) will always get the best parts. You can try somewhere different, but most places are going to choose the best children for the best parts, even if its the same children each time

[WhereYouLeftIt]

"However it's became more apparent that the children 5 or so of them tend to always get the main roles. These children are the same ones that pay for private singing tutorials with the group leader."
It's not going to change, is it? So yes, I'd remove my daughter from this group and tell the group leader exactly why.

"she's said she wants to carry on but not there."
Listen to your daughter and find her another group. She doesn't want to be part of this group any more.

[Winniemarysarah]

Have you mentioned it to any other parents? I think a few of you should go in and ask why no other children are ever considered

[Cabbagepie]

Unfortunately this seems to be the way these things go in many dance schools. The only time my daughter and her friend got a main part was when an external person who didn't know who the 'stars' were did the auditions. Cue lots of outrage from those who expected the parts and complaints from their mothers. He didn't have any skin in the game and stuck to his guns.

[Suzanne999]

I’d move her elsewhere. It seems to be unfairly run. I seem to remember one of the basics of teaching was making sure all kids got a turn at everything.

[Eleganz]

Well you either move on or ask the group leader what is holding your daughter back. The other children are getting intensive signing coaching, perhaps, if you want her to get the cast parts, that is something she needs as well?

[Tal45]

No point her going, being miserable and never being given a chance. Let her try somewhere else.

[bottleofbeer]

It's always the way. There are always the kids who get every bloody part in school plays, Team captain etc...

One girl was school darling and read out a poem at a school performance. She was obviously so ill at ease and she ended up crying. But sue was cutesy and her parents were governors.

Recently they all left year 11, and we went to a prize giving. Guess which girl won pretty much every prize?

It's always been the same and always will be. Move her x

[3scape]

Be very clear why and choose somewhere else.

[TheBigPeachy]

We couldn't afford the private singing lessons fees as well. She's got a nice voice I'd say.
This show is mainly acting anyway the bug songs are all cast so thought dd might be in with a better chance.

[XelaM]

Absolutely. My daughter was in the exact same position because the director always gave the speaking roles to her own son/her friends' kids. It was totally unfair and we quit

[Wineat5isfine]

Sadly, we have also experienced this and friends have too. Money talks…and it’s quite despicable to watch and experience this - and it is all down to the group leader.

#bribery

[thepeopleversuswork]

I would move her. My DD does a drama club at the weekends and the organisers go out of their way to ensure all children get a chance and not just put the “stars” forward every time.

It’s not the West End, it’s meant to be educational and if they are picking the same kids every time they are failing the others.

It doesn’t have to be like that. Find a better club.

[AliceMcK]

I’d be asking why the children who pay for private lessons are the only ones getting parts, just to put her on the spot.

[reluctantbrit]

That was one reason we moved DD from one performing arts school to another.

[Larryyourwaiter]

It’s an educational activity you are paying for, she should be participating fully. I’d move her.
It’s bad enough this goes on in school but when you are paying, ridiculous.

[Dogdayafternoonz]

I'd move her. You aren't paying the place to make her feel bad about herself.

[WhatICallMyUsername]

When I was younger I had dance lessons several times a week. We often had to stay behind to learn group dances for dance competitions. I stayed behind as requested and was informed I was no longer in this dance as someone from another dance school had joined and she'd replaced me.

I fully understand she was obviously better than me but I had already been told I was in it.

I was getting a lift home from one of the other parents so had no choice but to sit and watch trying not to cry

I never went back

[AdultingInTheCountryside]

Move her and also leave a scathing review online to as why people shouldn’t join.

[Mistressofnone]

Yes I'd remove her, especially if that's her wish too. Find a different performing arts school and explain to the new teacher what you found unfair about the previous one.

If she remains there during these important years, her confidence will be shot to bits. Will be such a waste of talent too.

[Thirtytimesround]

Of course move her!!

If she stays, you’re basically teaching her to put up and shup up with unfairness - a far far more damaging lesson than any benefit she can be getting from the classes.

I’d write a very blunt email to the school leader saying that X has been in your class for years, she has never been allocated a named part despite auditioning constantly, so either the teacher isn’t able to teach her to the required standard or the part allocation is unfair, but either way it is demoralising and harmful for your daughter to accept rejection from her teachers over and over again for years, and therefore you are removing her and looking for a different school that is actually interested in the welfare and development of its students.

[accidentlygothereagain]

I did performing arts from 6-18 (I'm 22 now). I've been at different schools and groups. I'd say in general you'll find that everywhere.

It may seem unfair and definitely can be! But generally the stronger students would be suited to the named roles. Throughout all of my years it was always the same people getting cast as the main part.

Moving her could make her shine from the crowd though!

But be prepared that this thing is common in the industry I'm afraid.

[grapewine]

@WhereYouLeftIt

"However it's became more apparent that the children 5 or so of them tend to always get the main roles. These children are the same ones that pay for private singing tutorials with the group leader."
It's not going to change, is it? So yes, I'd remove my daughter from this group and tell the group leader exactly why.

"she's said she wants to carry on but not there."
Listen to your daughter and find her another group. She doesn't want to be part of this group any more.

All of this. Definitely listen to her.

[RocketAndAFuckingMelon]

I'd move her. My DD is at a similar performing arts class (I wonder whether it is a different branch of the same one, as I've heard they really vary on this according to the personality of the leader) and all the children get a chance to do something, even if that means rotating the "main part" across two or three different children for the performance (confusing as hell for the parents I will admit!) That includes the children with SEN and the children who are not natural performers. I think it's brilliant. So less nepotistic places do exist!

[FortySeven]

Obvs move her! And tell them (and the other parents) exactly why