To report a close family member to Social Services

(78 Posts)
Morgandetoi Sun 01-Aug-21 20:45:15

Not sure if this is the right thread but I could really use some impartial advice.

A very close family member has 5 children under 8, is only 25 she is married to a man 13 years older. Social services took the children away 2 years ago and they lived with their Nanny for 8 months. We have only heard information second hand as to why the kids were taken away. Supposedly the nursery reported them as one of the children told them worker that the parents were hitting them. I have never seen evidence of this, but I have always wondered if there was more to the story, as the action SS took seemed extreme for one report.

They had to attend visitation sessions which were quite frequently missed, she also had a baby during this time which was immediately taken away,but she was allowed under supervision to feed the baby at night, again this was frequently missed. They got the children back and everything seemed to be a lot more settled.

Recently the mother has gone off the rails. Staying out all night drinking, taking drugs and from what we hear sleeping around. The father is staying home with the children but is bringing “unsavoury” people into the house in the evening and when the mother gets back at 6 am they argue and fight in front of the children, which I think at times has got physical.

I know that she has drunk drove with the kids in the car and I am absolutely terrified that something is going to happen to the children.

If the children were taken away again their nana absolutely could not take of them. Unfortunately we have a extremely sick family member who has takes up the majority of her time with constant hospital visits. The only option would be foster care.

The only things I have see first hand is a complete lack of home cooked food, they only seem to eat sausage rolls, the kids only tried blueberries for the first when we visited last as my daughter had some. The youngest baby being strapped in the pram all day, being extremely behind with crawling sitting up and walking. She has a major flat head. Lack of car seats, rotting teeth, the 4 year old had almost all his teeth removed. The toddlers are very whiney and clingy. The older ones are starting to become aggressive. The children escaping from an open back door and the parents not realising till a stranger bought them back from a very busy main road. We do not spend a lot of time directly with the children or the mother as we don’t live in the same area.

Would I be wrong to report them just on second hand information. Are children better off with their parents or foster care?

OP’s posts: |
Theunamedcat Sun 01-Aug-21 20:46:27

Report them

Winemewhynot Sun 01-Aug-21 20:47:09

Are you for real? Of course you need to report.

DismantledKing Sun 01-Aug-21 20:47:57

Phone social services, tell them of your concerns.
Let them do the investigating.

OverByYer Sun 01-Aug-21 20:48:43

Report. Those poor children, some people don’t deserv kids

RoseRedRoseBlue Sun 01-Aug-21 20:48:47

If what you say is true, you can’t possibly think the kids are better off with the parents?

Handsoffstrikesagain Sun 01-Aug-21 20:48:48

Jesus Christ OP those poor babies. Please report immediately x


Planty13 Sun 01-Aug-21 20:49:29

That’s a lot of third hand information however I would report as it sounds like a lot to be concerned about. Sounds like they need a lot of support.

DogsSausages Sun 01-Aug-21 20:49:44

Yes you need to report this and if she is driving whilst drinking you call the police.

StormBaby Sun 01-Aug-21 20:50:56

Of course report it, but from personal experience don’t expect much to happen 😞

OhWifey Sun 01-Aug-21 20:51:10

It's highly unlikely, given the history you describe, that the children are not currently under a child in need plan if not child protection. I would assume from what you're saying that SS are not aware of the full current (dire) situation and that your information is absolutely essential.

Allllchange Sun 01-Aug-21 20:51:20

A baby being strapped constantly in the pram massively hinders brain development and motor skills. This with the other examples sound like severe neglect so please do refer.

Teachermum4 Sun 01-Aug-21 20:53:29

Contact NSPCC helpline if you’re not sure what to do.

ShitPoetryClub Sun 01-Aug-21 20:55:32

Foster carers are highly trained, vetted, childcare professionals. Foster placements are also closely monitored by a SW.
Of course the children would be better off in Foster care, it beats me why Foster care has such a poor reputation.

greendiva Sun 01-Aug-21 20:56:45

Yes you absolutely need to repot, however it would also be prudent for the people who passed on that information to make a report first hand.

ButtonMoonLoon Sun 01-Aug-21 20:57:30

Good heavens, please make the call, make it now and follow it up via email
Contact NSPCC and google the MASH/ child protection team contact info for the local authority they live in.

Panickingpavlova Sun 01-Aug-21 20:58:20

Baby strapped in the pram is horrendous, why are they having more children!

Baby p was strapped in his pram it's horrendous, the onus is on all of us to report to the proper people and let them decide....

They don't know if they don't know but as pp said why havant they already got ss involvement.

What a horrible situation.

TSSDNCOP Sun 01-Aug-21 21:01:13

The NSPCC will provide guidance during school holidays. Often things come to a head during the summer as the schools are closed and that's the only safe place some kids know.

Panickingpavlova Sun 01-Aug-21 21:01:41

Shit, by accident I know through fiends /family of two different Foster carers and they do the absolute bare minimum..

They have their own family around, push fostered child out, do the absolute bare minimum, don't take them anywhere or do anything special and yet they get an absolute fortune for fostering!!

I'm absolutely sure there are really invested caring ones out there but for many it's an income and they do the bare minimum.

Panickingpavlova Sun 01-Aug-21 21:03:00

Op is there any way you can offer to take the baby out? So it gets out of the pram at least??

Morgandetoi Sun 01-Aug-21 21:05:52

Thank you for your reply and mentioning the fact it’s third information as that’s the reason I was hesitant.

OP’s posts: |
GeorgiaGirl52 Sun 01-Aug-21 21:08:22


Foster carers are highly trained, vetted, childcare professionals. Foster placements are also closely monitored by a SW.
Of course the children would be better off in Foster care, it beats me why Foster care has such a poor reputation.


Morgandetoi Sun 01-Aug-21 21:09:17

Yes I am for “real” watching the aftermath of something like this is going to be devastating. Also the fact the it’s more then likely the children would be split up, I think weighing up the information from a second hand source and asking for impartial advice is the right thing to do before calling.

OP’s posts: |
Morgandetoi Sun 01-Aug-21 21:10:32

I only found all this out last night and like I said I don’t live in the area or even close by. But I would have absolutely called the police if I had of known.

OP’s posts: |
Babyroobs Sun 01-Aug-21 21:11:41

Jesus Christ. Why do these people just keep having baby after baby. I know actually it's probably just chaotic lives, unplanned pregnancy etc but the poor kids. Op can other family members step in, at least to make sure the kids basic needs are met. I would report them it sounds like they need support.

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