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AIBU?

Can't believe this happened today, infact its still rattling round my head now!

68 replies

pinkbubble · 01/10/2007 21:18

I have problems with my bladder,and manage to wet myself numerious times a day! (its a fairly recent thing and I am still trying to come to turns with it!) I do not like going out on my own at the moment, just incase I have an accident. MIL suggested that we take DDs to an shopping outlet centre for the afternoon. I am not sure, and so tell her. She convinces me that I need to get out and about, and that there are loos there. So I go.

Look around the shops, not a big place, then I take youngest DD to playpark at centre, no sooner had she started playing when I wet myself! I was mortified, MIL had not yet got to park, so I tried ringing her on mobile(no answer). I then see her walking along with other DD, send youngest DD off to tell MIL what has happened and I needed to go home, I walk to car and sit in it and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. Must have been at least 20 mins I waited in car for them to come. Eventually MIL saunters over leaving DDs in park and suggests we go for a drink!!!!!. I am in tears by this stage, tell her no I dont want a drink, I just want to go home(a 45 min car journey away!) Her reply was - we all need a drink, we have not had one this afternoon, I'm going to get one for the girls! I sat there for another 10 mins while she goes off and buys us all drinks even though I had said I didnt want one!

I still cant believe this actually happened this afternoon, maybe I am being unreasonable to expect to go home pretty pronto after wetting myself, I know that if it had happened to someone else then I would quick to deny DDs a drink.

I also thought that maybe DD had not given MIL the message, but going home in car, MIL told me how discreet DD had been, and how grown up she had benn too. DDs were on a development day today so were not at school!

Sorry its so long, feel better already now rant is over!

OP posts:

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MegaLegs · 01/10/2007 21:20

Oh no you poor thing. Is the wetting a problem since you've had your babies?

MrsSeanSlater · 01/10/2007 21:21

YANBU, MIL was very insensitive and must have seen how upset you were.
Can nothing be done about the bladder problem? Do you use those Tenalady pads? They might help.

2shoescreepingthroughblood · 01/10/2007 21:22

oh what a poor you I would expect another woman to be more understanding.

glitterchick · 01/10/2007 21:22

You poor thing. How awful. You're MIL is a thoughtless so and so. YANBU. Have you been to doc about bladder?

pinkbubble · 01/10/2007 21:22

No Megalegs, I had a minor op on my bladder several months ago, and since then have had real probs, so far this is the best my bladder has been, trouble is it never works when it should!

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Tortington · 01/10/2007 21:23

you need to see a doctor

were you wearing a tena? you should

Tortington · 01/10/2007 21:23

post crossed - sorry

pinkbubble · 01/10/2007 21:24

MSS, I dont just use Tena Ladies but these nappy things too, and even then that sometimes is not enough! Oh and inco pads on chairs and car seats!

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MegaLegs · 01/10/2007 21:25

Is more surgery an option, it sounds awful, it's effecting your normal life.

pinkbubble · 01/10/2007 21:26

Yes I'm under a consultant, had catheter removed couple of weeks ago, think they were hoping for it all to settle down! No such luck, just fed up now, want it all over!

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iheartdusty · 01/10/2007 21:26

how horrible for you.

Maybe this is crass, if so I apologise, but would it help if you took spare undies and wipes with you, and could clean yourself up and not have to go home?
as I say, sorry if I am missing something which makes this a stupid idea.

iheartdusty · 01/10/2007 21:27

now I see from more posts what kind of problem this is. I guess my words were pretty useless.

pinkbubble · 01/10/2007 21:28

I have no idea if more surgery is involved, Hope not! Hoping I may find something out this week! fingers crossed.

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morningpaper · 01/10/2007 21:28

I DO sympathise but it sounds as though you MIL is getting upset that you are staying at home with the children all the time - and she's made a special effort to take them out (a long drive) and so I can understand why she was pissed off

I think your MIL is right - you do need to get out and about and find some ways of living around this. Did you not have spare clothes etc with you?

It sounds HORRIFIC - are you having proper ongoing care?

pinkbubble · 01/10/2007 21:29

I did have spare clothes with me, but the thought of walking to car to get dry clothes, then walking to find toilets(in wet soggy clothes) and not knowing what state the toilets were going to be in, I just thought lets go home!

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Monkeybar · 01/10/2007 21:31

Poor you, I can't imagine how hard this must be to live with. Don't know if this is any use, but I remember seeing something on one of those morning hospital programmes about a lady who had a bladder issue and she was treated by having botox injections into the wall of her bladder, which helped her. SOrry if that is a useless comment.

morningpaper · 01/10/2007 21:32

poor you

it sounds bloody awful

good luck !

pinkbubble · 01/10/2007 21:32

Also the park should have been our last stop! We had bribed the DDs that if they were good then we would go there before going home. DDs are old enough to understand that I have a problem at the mo, and they are not the sort of children to kick up a stink if they know things are not right!

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xXxamyxXx · 01/10/2007 21:32

you poor thing!

pinkbubble · 01/10/2007 21:33

botox was mentioned but that was when I still had the catheter fitted and I was able to wet myself then too!

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hunkermunker · 01/10/2007 21:35

PB, do you know when you're going to wee or does it just happen? Can you get a shewee?

I know that it's not a solution and it still means more al fresco weeing than is ideal, but at least you won't be wetting yourself

pinkbubble · 01/10/2007 21:40

I get about a 5 sec warning if I'm lucly.

Whats a shewee?

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Pinkchampagne · 01/10/2007 21:40

Oh blimey, bubble, you poor thing. I would have been upset too.

pinkbubble · 01/10/2007 21:40

lucky!

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blazingsandals · 01/10/2007 21:42

Oh how horrible. Something like that just robs you of all dignity and it's WRONG, WRONG, WRONG when people don't get that sometimes you just have to go home. I understand completely why you needed to go and while it's tough on the kids and on MiL YANBU to not want to waddle, with wet clothes for the offchance that there might not be a queue at some godforsaken public loo.

You do need to push your consultant to find a solution that works for you - it is a long slog I know but there are solutions out there. I'm so sorry you are going through this and I hope that in a few months you will have discovered, if not a cure, a more reliable way of coping with things.

Good luck

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