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AIBU?

Mums of daughters career minded ( no grandchildren yet career minded now 27)

77 replies

lisajane1966 · 17/06/2020 12:12

Does anyone relate to being a mum so is on Mumsnet but doesn't feel they can relate to people on Gransnet as they have grand children.My age is 53 I have a career orientated daughter aged 27?
I seem to be in an inbetween world of Mumsnet and Gransnet, I am older with no young children to look after, no responsibilities except to myself and my husband. I am free to do what I like so feel younger and not 53. My point is I feel to old to relate to younger women but want to relate to older women who are in same situation.

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Am I being unreasonable?

59 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
76%
You are NOT being unreasonable
24%
HotStottie · 17/06/2020 12:13

There are plenty of older women on here.

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Chemenger · 17/06/2020 12:16

There are loads of women your age and older on here. I'm older than you and I've never looked at Gransnet, my children are at university, as are those of many of my friends of my age, none of whom are grandparents.

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queenMab99 · 17/06/2020 12:19

I am 70 with grandchildren but prefer mumsnet, to gransnet, age isn't really relevant to me, it is whether people are amusing or have something interesting to say that appeals to me.

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StCharlotte · 17/06/2020 12:25

I'm a bit older and don't have children at all. Which is why I tend to stick to AIBU, Style & Beauty and other less child-related boards.

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FrenchJunebug · 17/06/2020 12:52

I'm the same but from the other side as I am a 52 year old mum with a 9 year old son.

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Khione · 17/06/2020 12:57

I'm 64, my 'children' are in their 40 and I have no grandchildren. There is plenty on here that doesn't revolve around looking after young children.

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crazychemist · 17/06/2020 13:04

I'm not at all what you're looking for (still in the trenches!) but just wanted to say I enormously appreciate it when posters in your position give advice, so please do stick around! Of course it's lovely to get opinions from people in the same position as me, but honestly you've probably got much better perspective with hindsight of parenting successes/pitfalls.

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AJPTaylor · 17/06/2020 13:07

I'm 52. 3 dds, one Is 25, one Is 23 and one is 12. I enjoy the broadeness of mumsnet.

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drspouse · 17/06/2020 13:09

I'm like @FrenchJunebug - early 50s, two primary aged children.

I don't think 27 is old to not have children!

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poisson428 · 17/06/2020 13:11

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potter5 · 17/06/2020 13:20

I'm in my 50's and a grandmother. I visit Gransnet occasionally. They are not as nasty as some posters on here.

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WanderingMilly · 17/06/2020 13:36

I'm in my early 60's, I signed on to Gransnet not so long ago, thinking they would have threads that were more in line with my age and interests.
How wrong could I be!
Very little of interest, not enough in-depth discussion, not as lively and certainly not a wide range of topics. Don't really use it and I'll stick with Mumsnet, thanks.....

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FreeFromDinoMeat · 17/06/2020 13:51

27 is really not old to not have children yet.

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drspouse · 17/06/2020 15:06

(And career-minded women have children too).

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catspyjamas123 · 17/06/2020 15:10

You are younger than me yet your view of “career minded women” is extremely old fashioned. Women have careers and children. Get over it.

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DoIneed1 · 17/06/2020 15:20

Catspyjamas123 said what I was going to say! You sound quite old fashioned for a sprightly 53 year old, Op!

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lisajane1966 · 17/06/2020 18:06

Yes it's great to discuss things on mumsnet for me as a woman without young children or teenager problemsas my daughter is a young woman, and we have worked hard to help her find her feet during and after university in this world that is so different to when I was younger. e.g. I moved in with my husband when I was 21 but now adays that is not the way with young women, and generally this generation rent and buy later that is why I feel I am inbeween both sites so I am not on Gransnet which I feel I should be due to my age, of 53. I am only reminded of my age when I look in the mirror unfortunately.

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lisajane1966 · 17/06/2020 18:17

@WanderingMilly

I'm in my early 60's, I signed on to Gransnet not so long ago, thinking they would have threads that were more in line with my age and interests.
How wrong could I be!
Very little of interest, not enough in-depth discussion, not as lively and certainly not a wide range of topics. Don't really use it and I'll stick with Mumsnet, thanks.....

That's why I can't relate to older womens, I think I must have a younger attitude as I am really close to my daughter and we chat all the time. We love a good discussion. I am sticking to mumsnet.
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Pipandmum · 17/06/2020 18:19

Gransnet at 53?? I'm 58 and still have kids in school! Hoping not to be a grandmother for at least another ten or 12 years....(though may be a step gran sooner as my step sons are over 30 😬)!

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lisajane1966 · 17/06/2020 18:21

@catspyjamas123

You are younger than me yet your view of “career minded women” is extremely old fashioned. Women have careers and children. Get over it.

I have not given an opinion of career minded women, I only said she was career minded. She will hopefully have children one day and I will love being a grandma, then I will be able to talk and relate to thread on Gransnet about having a grandchild.
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FlurryKnox · 17/06/2020 18:22

You sound as if you have very set in stone ideas about life stages, OP. I’m five years younger than you with an eight year old and a career I started at 28 because I was studying till then.

You make it sound as if you’re some kind of anomaly in not having young children to look after, and as if you’re marking time till you have grandchildren you assume you’ll be looking after? Don’t you have a job ?

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lisajane1966 · 17/06/2020 18:22

@HotStottie

There are plenty of older women on here.

Read the first sentence, I am an older woman.
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HappyMealWithLegs · 17/06/2020 18:26

But you aren't. In no way can a 53 year old be described as an older woman!

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bloodywhitecat · 17/06/2020 18:27

I'm 56 yet I don't recognise your description of what it was like when I was in my 20s. I had my own flat when I met my (now ex) husband, we lived together briefly before we married when we were 26, I had my first child at 27. My kids are adults now, my DD is 30 and has no plans to have children yet.

I am now a foster mum to a 7 week old and a 7 month old and live with my new partner. I don't think my daughter's life goals are that far away from what mine were.

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drspouse · 17/06/2020 18:35

Why does being career minded a) deserve any comment and b) mean you don't have children?

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