NC for obvious reasons.
I've just found out I'm pregnant (5 weeks or so), and it's not a great time. We have a 13-month-old and mat leave really drained our finances, which are shaky now DP is furloughed. We bought our house just before our first was born and it still needs lots doing which we couldn't afford if we had another mat leave. I feel my partner and I have only just started regaining an equilibrium and I'm enjoying being back at work (albeit remotely) and rediscovering that side of myself. In general our life feels a bit chaotic and white-knuckle and I just don't feel ready for another child, let alone 2 under 2 which was never my dream.
On the other hand, we adore the child we have, we wanted more kids, I'm not getting any younger, DH is a wonderful hands-on parent and partner, the house is a 3-bed and could hold us all... and there is never a right time.
I feel very guilty that the most I can muster about this situation is ambivalence when DC1 was so desperately wanted, but honestly I worry that another child will be bad for us right now. I feel quite overwhelmed by life - I wanted to wait another year and get us on a more even keel financially, emotionally and workwise.
AIBU to feel this just isn't right for us? Or maybe more to the point not right for ME? I wanted to buckle down on my career for a year, enjoy having a bit more freedom from DC. I feel selfish and small about it, but my gut is screaming no.
I don't feel I can discuss any of this frankly with anyone else, so I would appreciate your frankness. How have you handled a small age gap? Would you do it again? Have you contemplated/had an abortion in this sort of situation?
Please or to access all these features
Please
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AIBU?
...not to want this baby?
60 replies
CrumbCoat · 12/06/2020 16:53
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
118 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
33%
You are NOT being unreasonable
67%
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