I feel I've acted immaturely and shamefully and I don't know how to overcome this in order to build a successful future.
I went to university in my home town and lived with my parents as was shy and suffered low self esteem and did not not really have the inclination to engage in 'normal' university life of living away from home etc. I then got my first ever job a few years ago but still suffered dreadfully from low self esteem. If I'm being honest, the group of 'friends' I was with at school are to be brutally honest imo emotionally immature, shrinking violets also and I feel their reactions to me and their general influence has always dented my self esteem. In order to cope with my social awkwardness I admit I told my colleagues, during the course of working in my first ever job some serious lies - along the lines of -that my best friend died at the beginning of 2018. This is totally untrue. The reason I said this was that I was caught in a difficult situation and due to my low self esteem couldn't cope with it so had to explain the situation away.
Just for completion's sake - they don't know my friendship circle so the 'lie' as it were wouldn't affect anyone in the office directly. Also, I said that while I was at uni I had a daughter and that she's now living with her father. This is also completely untrue. I suspect some people saw through this but I don't know exactly - but also I feel they must have gossiped about me as some people in that office were toxic gossips. I dread to think what they said. I now work in a different department so I'm not with these people at all any more.
I'm deeply ashamed of these lies and as a result I have been overeating and piling on the pounds. Realistically, I know I can't change the past but I want the future to be as constructive as possible and not waste my life.
I'm also worried that if I ever look for another job in the same field - it may be a small pool of people and I'll be rejected automatically for being a compulsive liar as rumour will get around.
Does anyone have any advice?
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To ask how to overcome this sense of shame?
63 replies
everybodysstarryeyed · 23/05/2020 13:29
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
28 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
57%
You are NOT being unreasonable
43%
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