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To end this relationship? Haven't seen him in 2 weeks

(59 Posts)
Penelope90 Tue 14-Jan-20 08:24:31

My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year now, we don’t live together but we’ve talked about it. We live 10 mins from each other though, 2 weeks ago I asked him if he wanted to go out but he said he was busy. Fair enough, I took a step back thinking he will plan something when he has time, didn’t hear from him for a week and then he texted him asking me how I was, a few texts back and forth. That stopped, and didn’t hear from him again. 2 weeks has gone by and I haven’t seen him.

AIBU to end this relationship? I feel like If you can go 2 weeks without seeing me given that we live 10 mins away, there’s no reason to be together?

LetsPlayDarts Tue 14-Jan-20 08:40:06

I wouldn't even tell him you're ending it. I'd just tell him a day/time to collect any belongings from your address.

AlwaysCheddar Tue 14-Jan-20 08:41:12

Get him to collect his stuff, or drop it off to his.

OutFoxxedByABadger Tue 14-Jan-20 08:43:06

When similar happened to me last year I amused myself by waiting to see how long it took for him to grow the balls to tell me that he'd gone off me.

It's been 10 months....

Originalusernameunavailable Tue 14-Jan-20 08:45:22

If he can’t put the effort in now, he won’t do it later that’s for sure. Don’t take any excuses just move on. I wouldn’t even tell him it’s over, just move on with your life and if he appears again just act casual and say you’ve moved on.

Aryaneedle Tue 14-Jan-20 08:47:13

This isn't a relationship anymore is it. It doesn't even sound like a friendship. I had a similar situation with someone I'd been with for 3 years and I wish I'd ended it much sooner. No respect for me at all. Good luck. You will feel so much better in the long run.

ToniHargis Tue 14-Jan-20 08:53:28

Unless he's very unwell, I would take this as a sign that he's lost interest. I also wouldn't do anything and see how long it takes him to realise you're not that bothered. (Even if you are.)

Letsallscreamatthesistene Tue 14-Jan-20 08:54:07

Id do the mature thing and call him out about it. You'll get some answers that way rather than just walking away with no idea what happened.

SpinneyHill Tue 14-Jan-20 08:57:20

Block him on everything and keep busy, in a month unblock to see if he's tried to contact you. If he has, laugh heartily to yourself, if not who cares?

Cryingoverspilttea Tue 14-Jan-20 08:57:44

I think he already has ended it 🤷‍♀️

CoraPirbright Tue 14-Jan-20 08:58:25

You don't sound terribly sad about it or have I read that wrong? Sorry if I have. If you want a clean break, I wouldnt wait for him to do it. Text him “umm we seem to have petered out. I will bag the stuff up that you have at mine and leave it (in safe place he can access) so you can pick it up. Take care.”

longwayoff Tue 14-Jan-20 09:02:46

He's forestalled you. Find someone else.

foodandwine89 Tue 14-Jan-20 09:04:16

He seems to have ended it for you tbh. Next step depends on what you want to do. You could say nothing or text sth along the lines of what Cora above suggested.

Highonpotandused Tue 14-Jan-20 09:04:37

Cryingoverspilttea Tue 14-Jan-20 08:57:44
I think he already has ended it 🤷‍♀️

He hasn't had the balls to end it.

Penelope90 Tue 14-Jan-20 09:05:26

@CoraPirbright of course I'm sad, but I'm also very confused. We had sex on the 30th December where he was hugging me telling me how much he loved me...and now this confused

Tombliwho Tue 14-Jan-20 09:07:10

Doesn't sound like much of a relationship anyway. I wouldn't even bother formally ending it, he obviously can't be arsed either.

CoraPirbright Tue 14-Jan-20 09:07:40

Oh dear. I am sorry. My daughter was just dumped by her boyfriend who, not two days before, was declaring undying love. What goes through these men’s minds? confused. Have you decided what you are going to do?

Penelope90 Tue 14-Jan-20 09:12:57

@CoraPirbright I'm going to end it. Even if he came back now, there's no way I can be with someone who's ok with going 2 weeks without seeing me. Just wish we didn't live this close.. sad

PlanDeRaccordement Tue 14-Jan-20 09:13:04

He might have been sick or had a family emergency. You’d feel horrible if you broke up with him over text only to find out something happened to him.
I personally would do the mature thing and ask him what’s been going on? He did initiate texting you a week ago so it’s not like he’s been no contact for 2 weeks. Maybe he’s thinking it’s your turn to initiate contact?

3rdchristmaslucky Tue 14-Jan-20 09:15:45

I had the same thing. With the guy over a year, he just wouldn't make an effort. When we were together he was all about me, super affectionate and telling me he loved me but it was like as soon as I was out of sight I was out of mind.
It's not a healthy way to live.

londonscalling Tue 14-Jan-20 09:15:51

I'd be interested to know how often you used to see him

MiniEggAddiction Tue 14-Jan-20 09:20:02

I think he can't be bothered to end it properly and thinks he might as well keep you hanging on in case he's bored.

PlanDeRaccordement Tue 14-Jan-20 09:21:25

“no way I can be with someone who's ok with going 2 weeks without seeing me.”

This seems unrealistic to me. Have you had much experience with long term relationships?
1) In many professions there will be business or training trips that long.
2) as parents age, one of you will probably have to go away to care for them for weeks at a time
3) as siblings get pregnant and want help with childbirth, you might leave your partner &/or children for a month to do that
4) many illnesses/injuries last over a week, and if you don’t live together, you’re not going to see each other for 2-3wks depending.

I just think you’re being a bit too idealistic.

HisBetterHalf Tue 14-Jan-20 09:23:22

Sounds like he has already ended it hmm

CuriousaboutSamphire Tue 14-Jan-20 09:23:44

just think you’re being a bit too idealistic. But your list would be reasons for not seeing a partner. Just ghosting someone is not a reason....

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