Every single year I get stressed out about this. Both mine and partners family live close by which I believe makes things harder as we feel obliged to visit both and one day I’d love a Christmas to ourselves.
Each year my mum wants us to go there for dinner as does mil but mil is more understanding we have two families. We’ve alternated years before and even just had our own dinner to save a fuss. We visit both on Christmas Day. It’s only the bloody dinner that causes such a fuss.
We have two children.
Before anyone asks I can’t really host Christmas here. Inviting my mum would mean also 15 other people. Grandparents, siblings, my brothers partner, uncles. I have no room for that. Mil loves to host it herself anyway.
So.. this year mil invited over there. Last year we had our own dinner but I think the year before we had dinner at my mums.. I can’t really remember.
It’s just mil and her partner home this year. Their other children my partners siblings have moved away, travelling, have partners etc. So they would
Love if I’d we went over with DC for dinner. Mil loves to do it.
My mum isn’t happy. She doesn’t seem to understand we have two families. She was a single mum when we were little. Me and my brother didn’t have a dad around and she’s estranged from her now husbands parents so it’s always been ‘her family’. She believes the daughter should spend Christmas Dinner with her mummy yet I’m sure she won’t be happy when my brother wanted to spend Christmas at his girlfriends.
Also. Christmas at mums is stressful. So many people. They’re loud, outspoken, it’s a crazy family and there’s no room for like 19 people. I’d much rather visit them first thing. Plus my brothers partner will be there. I haven’t met her yet and won’t before Christmas. I have major social anxiety meeting new people let alone around the table.
Aibu to think my mum should understand. Mil and her partner have no one locally apart from us whereas my mum has all her family locally and should be grateful.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
Family Christmas dinner problems.
37 replies
AG29 · 14/12/2019 10:49
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
301 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
2%
You are NOT being unreasonable
98%
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.