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Manager won’t let me go to my wedding

(245 Posts)
Biggobyboo Sat 31-Aug-19 18:36:20

I’m a mature student (Master’s degree) and I’ve previously worked in professional office jobs. I’ve recently started a part time job on a make-up counter to earn some pin money and to get me out of the house. I always thought it seemed like a fun job and I like skincare and cosmetics.

When I sent back my contract to HR I mentioned I had my wedding coming up and a week off for my honeymoon. They said that was no problem.

I started the job and discovered my manager has the week of my honeymoon booked off for a holiday and flies out on my wedding day. The full time assistant is being a bridesmaid at another wedding that day so there is no cover in the store.

My manager said I cannot have the time off. I thought she was joking so I said “sure, I’ll just re-arrange it for the following week then!” She said that I should make it at least a couple of weeks after HER holiday. I explained that it wasn’t possible to cancel my wedding and she said it was a shame I wasn’t showing my dedication to the brand and being a team player so early on in the job. No more has been said as she has gone off sick so it’s just me and the other assistant. I can’t do too much (paid) overtime as I’m studying so she’s being funny with me. I’m contracted for 15 hours a week but I’m doing 22.5 hours currently to cover. The brand is recruiting for another part time assistant.

So should I just hand in my week’s notice now or wait until the week of my wedding? If I leave now, the other assistant will have nobody else so there will be no cover. The store is open around 60 hours a week but I’ve noticed the other brands leave their counters unmanned a lot of the time where they have no staff.

If I leave just before the wedding there will still be no cover for that weekend.

Any ideas? I’ve never worked anywhere this crazy before!

YouJustDoYou Sat 31-Aug-19 19:59:34

Once, I just didn;t go back in. I'd put in to work all the December work I could as I was desperate for the money (it paid for the fuel etc I needed to see my nan who was in a care home 2 hours away - no one else visited her, so in order to go I needed that extra money. Plus I had food to buy, etc). . I'd double checked with my 21 year old manager 2 months, then 1 month beforehand, that it was still ok to have that time - yes, all ok, I was still allocated those hours. 2 DAYS before I was due to start my Christmas overtime I snuck a look in the book the manager recorded holidays etc in as I had a funny feeling as she'd been talking about her "mate" needing money- she'd bloody gone and rubbed out my name for the days and given all my work days to said mate, and hadn;t told me - I suspected she would've just phoned me the morning I was due to start to say I was no longer needed. So I wrote a letter, and never went back. she was stuck with no one to fill the work after Christmas finished. Haha.

Mummyshark2019 Sat 31-Aug-19 20:00:10

Definitely, I would quit now. Write a formal resignation letter with the reason you're leaving name your manager in that letter and explain she was not willing to grant your leave request. Attach a copy of the email you have saying said holiday was ok. Then fuck them all off. What a horrible person your manager seems like. Enjoy your wedding and honeymoon.

ChristItsAlive Sat 31-Aug-19 20:02:17

Oh dear, you’ve got a stress headache haven’t you OP? Don’t you need to call in sick? Might take some time.


PeevedNiamh Sat 31-Aug-19 20:04:29

I agree with Christitsalive, I expect your horrible manager has caused you lots of stress. I'd pop that in a resignation with immediate effect letter to HR.

GoneToTheDock Sat 31-Aug-19 20:05:47

If you told them about it before you accepted the job they have to honour it.

No this is incorrect. The company can cancel your leave if they want to.

Can my employer cancel a pre-booked holiday?
Yes, your employer can cancel a period of annual leave, which is notice of at least the same length as the period of leave to be cancelled. For example, if you have booked a period of four days’ annual leave, your employer must give at least four days’ notice of cancellation.

Your employer must not cancel a period of annual leave if it means that you are unable to take your full statutory annual leave entitlement in that leave year.

If your employer cancels a period of leave without a clear business reason (and without compensation) which results in you not being able to go on a booked holiday and suffering financial loss, you may have a case for constructive dismissal. You would need to argue that the cancellation is a breach of the implied duty of mutual trust and confidence with your employer.

Cheeseoncrumpets Sat 31-Aug-19 20:06:06

I'd just not go back, but thats just me.

slithytove Sat 31-Aug-19 20:06:41

How recently did you join? You might only need to give immediate notice under your contract.

DoctorSnortles Sat 31-Aug-19 20:10:44

If it was me, I'd go in tomorrow, but hand in my notice at the start of the shift. A day on your feet isn't as tiring when you know you've chucked the cat in amongst the pigeons and won't have to put up with all the fluttering for much longer.

Upanddownandroundagain Sat 31-Aug-19 20:11:43

I’d personally want to hang on and contact HR purely because they need to know what their managers are doing - they can take her to task for this. Then I’d quit in my own time - before the wedding probably, but ideally when the outcome of the other jobs is known. Good luck.

chocpop Sat 31-Aug-19 20:16:30

Hate managers like these. Total pricks.

Honestly, if the job doesn't mean anything to you I'd just try and leave them in the shit. Walk out the day before your wedding and say c ya. Can't believe she had the audacity to encourage you change your wedding date back a few weeks, what a moron.

Don't feel bad, sometimes the only way these people learn is if someone truly lands them in it. If it as no implication on you, then fuck them.

rwalker Sat 31-Aug-19 20:18:25

She's on a power trip you must see this through if not just to PISS her off.
Contact HR they have already said you can have them, then you will have the pleasure of seeing her having to back down to you.
Then leave when you come back tell her you've something better.

Blueoasis Sat 31-Aug-19 20:19:45

I'd wait until the last possible moment to tell her you are quitting.

You told them your prior arrangements. She decided to take you on knowing that, and didn't give a shit. And then had the fucking cheek to say 'rearrange it for a few weeks after my holiday'. Nuh uh. She deserves to be fucked over.

Wait until the week before to quit and if they say you can't, walk out. It's not like you're going to need to go back is it? Means she gets the issue of having to either find someone at short notice, or cancel her holiday. Completely her fault and she deserves it fully.

fandabbyfannyflutters Sat 31-Aug-19 20:21:10

I would just laugh and say 'are you on glue?'

RedTideBlues Sat 31-Aug-19 20:22:47

I would get HR to confirm my holiday dates first. If they stand by them then what happens after isn't your problem. If they refuse the dates then my resignation would be in at the very last minute.

burningwater Sat 31-Aug-19 20:24:21

What @fandabbyfannyflutters said.

It's your wedding, not time for a denitst appointment.

Jobs will come and go. Hopefully this will be your one and only wedding day.

Have a fab day x

BizzzzyBee Sat 31-Aug-19 20:28:51

If the job is tolerable I’d continue to work there and be clear that no, I won’t be cancelling my wedding. And when the wedding arrives you take your holiday as planned. Let them sack you if they want to!

Winterlife Sat 31-Aug-19 20:32:55

I would wait until I hear back from HR. I would give them some notice either way, say, a week.

billy1966 Sat 31-Aug-19 20:34:31

As you don't wish to return, I would email them this evening, telling them that due to the general unpleasantness of the atmosphere and attitude of the manager requesting you to change your wedding date, when it had been cleared at interview stage, you will not be returning to the job.

Finish it with remarking how disappointed you were with your treatment while employedand the attitude of your manager.

Strawberry72 Sat 31-Aug-19 20:34:58

Tell them to pi* oFF and walk!

KickOffTheSundayShoes Sat 31-Aug-19 20:38:59

Don't go in tomorrow if it's making you unhappy. You don't owe them anything- they should learn how to treat their staff decently.

Phone in sick with a headache and/or a letter of resignation with immediate effect.

MindyStClaire Sat 31-Aug-19 20:50:37

HR will sort it I'm sure, they'll arrange cover from another branch. But I wouldn't want to work under that manager and you have plenty of other options, so quit.

However, other people don't have the luxury of being able to leave, and they do have to work under that manager. So I'd work your notice, be the model employee and make sure HR know, in writing, why you're leaving and what the manager expected of you.

mathanxiety Sat 31-Aug-19 20:53:35

When are you next being paid?

Make payday your last day. Send them an email with your resignation effective immediately from the time you deposit your cheque at the end of that day.

LightsInOtherPeoplesHouses Sat 31-Aug-19 20:56:24

I've worked in retail and experienced exactly this sort of thing. Right down to comments on lack of commitment. It won't get better so leave if you don't need the money.

LightsInOtherPeoplesHouses Sat 31-Aug-19 21:00:03

Would I be totally unreasonable to not go in tomorrow and just to never go back again?!

Happened all the time where I worked. Some people wouldn't make it through the first day. Would go for lunch and we'd never see them again .

BlueJava Sat 31-Aug-19 21:00:31

Either ensure HR are onside and give you the time off, or walk out if they get difficult. I wouldn't give them a second thought.

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