Ok so relatively long but I sodding hate backstory posts so please forgive me! Oh and I’ve name changed as I don’t want this linked to my posting history.
Happily married, 8 years, two DS, DH has always been shit with communication, even in the early days of dating it would be 3/4 days between contact and when away with work he’s uncontactable and would be a week or more between calls.
Just over 2 weeks ago I had to call him to come home from work (he wasn’t meant to be in it was a Sunday, he’d gone in to clear his desk as he’d been off on holiday the previous week) and I called an ambulance as was in excruciating pain, turned out I was 5 weeks pregnant, they queried an ectopic but was a burst ovarian cyst, not fun but bounced back quickly and was home the next day.
ILs kindly stayed and helped with the boys whilst I was in hospital and my DM came to stay the next day to help for a week or so. DH hardly around, in work not off out, so understandable but slightly peeved.
So timeline followed:
I started bleeding a couple of days after coming home, already had a follow up scan already booked and it wasn’t painful so called the ward but happy to wait for the scan or things to progress.
DH left for his work, he’s the boss he couldn’t not go and my parents were with me helping with the boys so all fine.
Scan confirmed pregnancy, heartbeat seen, but said it was of uncertain viability and another scan booked for a week later.
Continued bleeding but just a light period, parents had to get back home but physically fine so all good.
Follow up scan was on Monday, spoke to DH on Sunday night, scan showed that the baby’s heart had stopped and that I’ll probably need an operation to remove the problematic ovary. Messaged my parents and DH to let them know. DPs immediately offered to come and stay but they had a break planned with friends and I’m fine physically so I told them not to, DH text me back “xxxx”. I have not heard anything else from him since then.
Bleeding has almost stopped so I’m not sure what will happen with passing the baby but physically I am fine. Emotionally I am sad and angry.
Basically I’m getting more and more angry with him and I don’t know if I’m letting my sadness at the pregnancy ending colour my opinion. He’s at work not on a jolly and he’s useless at being in contact, always has been, but surely he should’ve called or sent a text?!
Please hand me a grip, but gently because of the whole being ridiculously sad about the baby
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AIBU?
AIBU about husband and contact levels? **contains miscarriage info**
77 replies
AIBUaboutHusband · 21/08/2019 20:46
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