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children in care

(86 Posts)
RomanyQueen1 Mon 20-May-19 22:57:26

Wtf are there unregulated homes for 16- 17 year olds, it's disgusting in this day and age.
They are at risk, vulnerable and dumped.
i had no idea and can't get over it. Why is this allowed?

NameChangedNoImagination Tue 21-May-19 00:20:44

Millet oh my goodness sad

Italiangreyhound Tue 21-May-19 00:24:52

This is truly a terrible situation.

Becoming a foster carer is a solution for some but those of us with young children may well not be able to foster older children. I would no be willing to foster children older than my own. Plus, despite being an adopter I am not sure I have the energy to foster or parent any more kids.

My friend is a foster carer for teens, she is utterly amazing. But it is not for all.

However, I expect all of us would like our tax money to go to caring for the next generation and keeping young people in safe accommodation and with support. So we can write to our local MP and ask what they are doing to change the lives of these young people. Money spent on youth is money well invested.

I don't think the answer is become a foster carer or do nothing, because I think there are other things we can do.

nokidshere Tue 21-May-19 00:38:10

Sadly the gap between being a child and an adult is huge in most services and so many people slip through that gap. It's tragic that these children are not properly cared for by anyone and disgusting that it's allowed to happen in the first place.

I was brought up in a children's home in Preston. Just prior to my 17th birthday I was given a small suitcase, £20 and was told I could leave now. There was no aftercare, no contact with anyone from the home or social services, and no transition into the real world.

That was in 1979. How sad that it seems little has changed.

Ghanagirl Tue 21-May-19 00:39:56

@Italiangreyhound
Couldn’t agree more, I definitely wouldn’t take a troubled teen into my with young children but would consider it once my two have flown the nest or are in their twenties.

mantlepiece Tue 21-May-19 00:42:28

I have a friend who used to foster teens. She went through a phase where the police were at her door almost every night. Delivering foster child back to her.
I spoke to another friend who is a social worker about the situation. I was so worried about these young people out at all hours in all kinds of dangerous situations. She cut me off at the pass saying you can’t infringe the children’s human rights.

So a foster parent can’t parent these cared for children like they would one of their own. There lies the problem.

HelenaDove Tue 21-May-19 00:46:00

Nothing surprises me any more sadly. sad

Orchidoptic Tue 21-May-19 00:47:16

I wonder how much more money there would be for looking after these children if MPs and councillors stopped lining their pockets with expenses?

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 21-May-19 00:48:09

I rarely do this but two threads have popped up. In one, you are saying you will never vote again. On this one you are complaining about policies implemented by government.

I work with young people and have for years, including in a shelter for 16-24 year olds. This government does not care about youth, homelessness, housing, youth crime and would happily see these children thrown on the trash. If you don't want that, vote. For a party that would at least try to reduce homelessness. It was done in the 90s and can be done now.

hazell42 Tue 21-May-19 06:25:09

Cost cutting is a major factor.
I worked with a fair few care kids and former care kids.
I worked with one who went from a secure childrens home to living on his own at 16. He was a sex offender who had raped his sister. For the first 3 months SS popped in daily for a welfare check, and then he was in his own. They rented him a small house, paid his bills, and left him to it.
The guy was one of the few genuine psychopaths I have ever met, and I found him profoundly disturbing.
But, whenever we raised concerns, and boy did we, we were met with a shake of the head and embarrassed mumblings about money.
It was unfair on him and it was definitely unfair on any child he came into contact with.

Sockwomble Tue 21-May-19 07:20:13

There are alternatives to foster care isn't available but there is no funding for it ( because a lot of people don't want to pay more to fund it).

Cottonwoolmouth Tue 21-May-19 07:24:47

I don’t know why this is a surprise.

My mother and her sisters and brother had their lives ruined by being in care home and sexually abused by multiple men.

Weedsnseeds1 Tue 21-May-19 07:31:55

It was Cornwall, Millet.
The kid did walk himself to college every day, amazingly.
He'd ended up homeless due to mental health issues.

GrapefruitsAreNotTheOnlyFruit Tue 21-May-19 07:35:56

It's terrible. I always think of this when people talk about calling social services and putting children into care.

Unless the parents are absolutely awful the government will make an even worse parent.

It's clear from multiple threads on mumsnet that we need to spend more money on important public services like this.

Weedsnseeds1 Tue 21-May-19 07:37:12

Web results
Cornwall council puts 'vulnerable' teenager in tent after he became ...
www.independent.co.uk › ...
He didn't want the move 30 miles away as he wouldn't be able to attend his college course. He did manage to go to college from his tent and do his coursework by torchlight. Until he ended up sectioned.

mrsed1987 Tue 21-May-19 07:42:31

Sometimes there are no other options for these children unfortunately.

Also to be clear, if you have left care you have access to support until 25, however you have to engage with it as you are an adult, it is not enforceable.

Grasspigeons Tue 21-May-19 07:47:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

runningtogetskinny Tue 21-May-19 08:03:03

I work in a care home for teenagers, it's incredibly complex. Sadly the experiences they've had in early childhood make it very difficult for them to trust adults and form lasting relationships. Young people where I work aren't moved on until around 17 and then it's into supported accommodation with staff on site, however, some struggle to adhere to the boundaries around drug use/criminal activity and end up being moved for the safety of others living there.

The kids people on here feel 'desperately sorry ' for and want more done to help them are often the same kids who get slated on here for using drugs in parks, stealing, being disruptive at school, being involved in anti social behaviour etc. Or people are urging parents to 'kick their kid out' for being disrespectful - can't have it both ways. The job is very rewarding, however, staff are physically and verbally assaulted, are expected to work 24 hour shifts 365 days a year, and the turnover is high - residential care is also VERY expensive for local authorities to fund therefore if a young person is rejecting the help offered and is a danger to others living there, there is always another referral waiting to take their place

amatsip Tue 21-May-19 08:18:07

I left my care home at 16 and had a room in a house, things got tricky for me and overdosed within weeks of leaving care, I remember my social worker picking me up from the hospital and literally dumping me into a young persons homeless hostel.

That was 1989, I was meant to be offered a proper home and have a resettlement grant and help to adapt to life outside care.

That never happened, I could have been dead for all they know.

I ended up living with some psychotic lad till I found my own feet.

MenuPlant Tue 21-May-19 08:21:24

Mrsed no other options than being left in a field with a tent?

Also agree with Italian. The idea that its either take in children or you mustn't have an opinion is ridiculous. Should the papers not report this?

People knowing what is going on and finding it bad can lead to other actions.

People care about lots of stuff the idea or all needs to be swept under the carpet I don't get it. If no one knows then it will definitely only get worse.

Agree it's money, obviously, combined with a govt who isn't interested. Street homelessness has exploded, 20 years ago there was hardly anyone round here sleeping rough. That is about government policy and priorities. We can push to change government or priorities. They should be accountable for what they do to people and if its hidden / no one is allowed to care unless they personally can solve it then we're fucked.

This comes up on threads about all sorts of things. Well, you don't like it you personally solve it. It's a bizarre response supposed to shut people down. Why shouldn't we talk about things in the news?

mrsed1987 Tue 21-May-19 08:55:59

menu i wasnt talkig about that, i was meaning unregulated homes. The tent thing is ridiculous.

Magenta82 Tue 21-May-19 08:59:14

This is what happens when people vote for a government with a policy of austerity.

It sounds lovely and sensible, like we are all in it together and tightening our belts for the good of the country. But in reality people are dying after being told they are fit for work, killing themselves because they have no money or hope, disabled people have no care and are getting stuck in their homes and children are being left with no help or support.

Meanwhile there are tax benefits for party supporters.

OwlBeThere Tue 21-May-19 09:13:48

I was one of those kids, I just upped and left and went to live in a squat with people who I at least felt safe enough to be able to go sleep and not wake up with all my stuff stolen. No one tried that hard to look for me. I was at college doing my a levels at the time and I can honestly say it was the worst few years of my life. It did get better when my boss at the pub I worked offered me a room but I worked like a dog for her in return. I slept about 4 hours a night for most of my second year of a levels. I went to two exams after all night shifts. And they wonder why the number of care leavers going to uni is so abysmally low.

NameChangedNoImagination Tue 21-May-19 09:44:13

Unless the parents are absolutely awful the government will make an even worse parent. Yes, grapefruits, I think many people have a very rosy idea of what care might be like, given the things people call social services for.

kateandme Tue 21-May-19 09:51:14

they have this for people coming out of mental health hospital too.they often dont end well becasue they are dumped there and not given the right support beforeheand they just arent ready.

ghostyslovesheets Tue 21-May-19 09:52:58

I agree with everyone saying look at the cuts to LA funding - there is no money!

also look at the cost of a private placement for a young person (1-2k a WEEK in some cases - more if they require 1-1 or waking nights)

It's totally wrong - but the pot isn't bottomless - more kids are coming into care - foster placements are increasing difficult to secure - especially for older kids with multiple problems - we are failing these kids as a society - look to your government - and VOTE!

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