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DP has posted a picture of me

(84 Posts)
PinkTicker Mon 25-Feb-19 23:16:58

on the group chat for our shared hobby.

He took it without me knowing, I'm recovering from a sickness bug and am in pyjamas and sitting in a very unflattering position which shows all my worst features. I look disgusting.

We were all mucking about with filters but I didn't know he was taking a picture of me or I'd have asked him not to post it or at the very least sat up/ covered up a bit. It's not my imagination - I really do look awful.

This is after I told him earlier how self conscious I was feeling about my appearance and that I hated myself.

I have left the group because I'm so bloody embarrassed and he says I'm overreacting and being petty.

AIBU to be upset?

As an aside if anyone knows how to get rid of the picture from the chat I'd be grateful, I could only see how to delete it from my copy of the thread.

NunoGoncalves Tue 26-Feb-19 00:37:09

Oh I just saw you're on FB messenger, sorry.

SemperIdem Tue 26-Feb-19 01:05:36

Nail on the head there Nuno.

BlankTimes Tue 26-Feb-19 01:16:02

There are things he is self conscious of and Inwould never intentionally make him feel bad about them publically like this, and if I did so accidentally I would acknowledge his feelings and be genuinely sorry, not turn it around on him for being "pathetic

Really, really hammer this point home along the lines of "How would you feel if I had sent a graphic image or description of your biggest insecurities to everyone on the group chat?

EKGEMS Tue 26-Feb-19 01:18:08

Take a picture of him asleep then OP capturing his bald spot or flabby tummy then post it see how pathetic he acts about unflattering photos on the internet!

PinkTicker Tue 26-Feb-19 10:40:20

He's just said "sorry" via text. And said that nobody in the chat cares... as if that's supposed to reassuure me.

I care and he knows that.

Chamomileteaplease Tue 26-Feb-19 10:45:35

He sounds very insensitive, mean spirited and a bully.

I hope he isn't normally like this.

TwitterQueen1 Tue 26-Feb-19 10:57:32

He's the twat OP. He should be apologising profusely and publicly.

Gemma whatsherface threw her bloke out of the house for publishing a photo of her sleeping. I am 100% with her on this. It's a massive invasion of privacy - and that's putting it mildly.

downcasteyes Tue 26-Feb-19 11:12:57

At some point, he made the decision here to post an unflattering picture of you for laughs. He valued his status in the group more than your right to dignity. You're right to be hopping mad. This is a trust issue, especially as you'd already told him you were experiencing some issues with your body.

You are not being pathetic. He is.

ReanimatedSGB Tue 26-Feb-19 11:17:14

What is his treatment of you like in general, though? Is this a generally kind man who occasionally doesn't think stuff through, or is he one of those who makes a lot of jokes at your expense, or criticises your appearance on the grounds that he's being 'honest'?

GreatDuckCookery6211 Tue 26-Feb-19 11:18:03

That’s bloody mean. I would have hated it too OP. It’s too late now as everyone will have seen it but I’d still ask him to remove it. I hope he understands what a twat he’s been now.

cakecakecheese Tue 26-Feb-19 11:21:59

Well he's apologised and he'll know not to do it again but not only should he not have done it in the first place, his initial reaction wasn't good. He may not get why you're upset but your reaction meant he'd gone too far and he should have understood that.

Holidayshopping Tue 26-Feb-19 11:23:22

That is really mean. Is he the sort of person (twat) that wants you to lose weight and thinks that will shame you into doing so??

pictish Tue 26-Feb-19 11:40:06

“Really, really hammer this point home along the lines of "How would you feel if I had sent a graphic image or description of your biggest insecurities to everyone on the group chat?‘’

I would conclude the incident by doing this. You will know what his fears and insecurities are. Highlight one and invent a scenario whereby you go public with it in the group chat. Ask him if he would like you to do that and why not.

I don’t think he intended to humiliate you...but when you told him he did, he had no business telling you he didn’t.

AngelsSins Tue 26-Feb-19 11:41:09

Isn’t this a thing at the moment? These wonderful men posting unflattering pictures of their unaware girlfriends online? A spin off from those god awful “pranking ” videos on YouTube that were so popular.

I think it’s a really twattish, bullying, immature thing to do, especially if that was his motivation.

Whisky2014 Tue 26-Feb-19 11:45:19

Go to the messagw on his phone hold yoir finger on the photo and it should come up with the option to delete.

I would not be happy

Purplecatshopaholic Tue 26-Feb-19 11:50:10

Thats totally not on - you dont post pictures of ANYONE who doesnt know you are going to do that. He should be ashamed of himself and remove it right away. Mans a bit of a twat - sorry

Bochym Tue 26-Feb-19 11:52:12

At least you had your clothes on!

kaitlinktm Tue 26-Feb-19 11:56:07

Nobody should be posting photos of people on any SM without their permission/consent. Just make sure he knows this from now on.

Damntheman Tue 26-Feb-19 12:01:29

Wow that is a non-apology and a half! What an absolute wank puffin to do a thing like that.

It's not very adult but I would be sorely tempted to post the most unflattering photo of him I could take in the group and see how he fucking likes the 'bants'.

Mmmmbrekkie Tue 26-Feb-19 12:06:19

Who needs enemies when...

PinkTicker Tue 26-Feb-19 12:18:51

He has commented on my weight in a 'jokey' way before but to be honest we usually have quite an affectionate relationship and it hasnt bothered me. It's the public nature of the humiliation and lack of apolgy that I'm upset about... as well as him being insensitive to do it just a few hours after I was struggling to even leave the house after having a wobbler about my looks.

I dont think it was necessarily meant to be intentionally cruel but it hurt and he's just trying to skim over it as if how i feel doesnt matter.

PinkTicker Tue 26-Feb-19 12:20:26

And yes, we often make jokes at each other's expense however I know what he is self conscious about and would never use that as the butt of any joke and I can hand on heart say that I have never once done so since we got together.

QuimReaper Tue 26-Feb-19 12:26:55

I know what he is self conscious about and would never use that as the butt of any joke

Did he use your weight / appearance as the butt of a joke?

Holidayshopping Tue 26-Feb-19 12:33:07

-*however I know what he is self conscious about and would never use that as the butt of any joke and I can hand on heart say that I have never once done so since we got together.*

I would say that to him.

Can you say....

Do you realise this is like me posting to others about your big ears/small cock/premature ejeculation?

LookAtThatCritter Tue 26-Feb-19 12:49:17

It wasn’t very nice of him but to leave the chat was an overreaction. Sometimes in life you have to laugh at yourself - everyone has times when they look terrible. You should have laughed it off and given DH a bollocking in private.

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