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AIBU?

What do you want right now?

53 replies

minieggsqueen · 22/02/2019 01:41

Me,
Financial security/stability
A career I enjoy
My own private apartment
A loving partner (mines not been very nice to me these past 2 days- I hate to say it as he's usually perfect, but some gaslighting behaviours going on..)

Just now he told me off for booking a 10am appointment tomorrow and said it was my fault, when in reality 4 days ago he TOLD ME to book it at that time as it works for him.

I just don't know what to do when he gets like this. I cooked him dinner tonight and he finishes and calls me a cretin for not tidying the bed. I don't know what's gotten into him. (We joke about and call each other names regularly but always laughing and smiling so it's 100% out of character to use this word in a stressing/annoyed tone).

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Pumpkintopf · 22/02/2019 01:43

A cup of tea.

Seriously though op, I'm sorry to hear your partner is behaving this way towards you. How often does he do this?

Monty27 · 22/02/2019 01:45

If I were you I'd like to see the back of him

DramaAlpaca · 22/02/2019 01:47

A decent night's sleep.

Calling you names isn't ever acceptable, OP. I wouldn't be putting up with that.

doubleshotespresso · 22/02/2019 01:50

Oh I am having a bit of a similar time too OP. I would like:

-A break anywhere in the UK
-A magic wand which stopped DP snoring
-A career I enjoyed like I used to (forced to give up work two years ago to become FT Carer to our child-it's so hard, battling every day with schools and specialists and this is the first time in my life I have no money of my own and I hate it)
-A day on my own in peace once a month
-More than 2 and a half hours sleep a night I am barely functioning or recognise myself lately

None of this will happen but nice to write these down!

minieggsqueen · 22/02/2019 01:50

I know it's not acceptable. It's just never happened before (the name calling), sure we have our arguments and disagreements but I hate how lately he's making me feel as if everything is my fault or saying he 'doesn't want to deal with me right now' etc. Makes me feel awful.

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minieggsqueen · 22/02/2019 01:51

@doubleshotespresso it does help to write it down doesn't it! I hope things improve for you soon

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Monty27 · 22/02/2019 01:52

I would actually like some dental pain relief. The self medication hasn't worked.

minieggsqueen · 22/02/2019 01:52

@Monty27 so would I right now. I don't have a job or a home to go back to atm unfortunately. Can barely afford my own food shopping. Can't tell anyone either.

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JasonGideon · 22/02/2019 01:53

A job! Had to move during mat leave so can’t go back to my job I had! I loved that job so much.

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 22/02/2019 01:54

Hit my head against a wall.

minieggsqueen · 22/02/2019 01:54

@Pumpkintopf only been horrid a few times before (usually when he's stressed with work) but this is the first malicious name calling.

The only thing I can think is that I've declined sex a few times recently (week long period and then he's hassled me late at night when I haven't showered etc).

Going to try and improve tomorrow, I'll have sex with him and hopefully he'll come back to normal.

for you :)

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minieggsqueen · 22/02/2019 01:55

@MissLanesAmericanCousin can i join you? A really hard, tough wall.

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minieggsqueen · 22/02/2019 01:56

@Monty27 ah I'm sorry, tooth pain is the worst!! Any chance of an emergency dental appointment tomorrow? Do you think it's an infection?

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minieggsqueen · 22/02/2019 01:56

@JasonGideon I'm sorry, that sucks! I hope you find somewhere better you love again.

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Pumpkintopf · 22/02/2019 01:58

Thanks for the tea op!

Monty I feel for you, also in pain with teeth here. for you!

Op I'm worried that you feel you need to have sex with this man to get him to treat you with basic respect. Lots of red flags here. Do you have a trusted friend or relative you could talk to about this irl? for you.

minieggsqueen · 22/02/2019 02:01

@Pumpkintopf literally no one, they'd just tell me to leave him and I don't feel like I can right now as I love him.

I really do tell him when he's not behaving acceptably but he just gets more defensive.

Thank you for listening

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JuniperBeer · 22/02/2019 02:05

@monty27 can you get to a chemist? Get some Orajel 20% benzocaine. Red box. White tiny tube. You can buy the 10% over the counter. Don’t. It’s pants. Get the 20%. Game changer honestly.

Justagirlwholovesaboy · 22/02/2019 02:05

You want to chat more @minieggsqueen?

Pumpkintopf · 22/02/2019 02:06

Worried about you minie if this behaviour is escalating. Please don't feel that you should have to have sex to make him behave decently towards you.

He should certainly apologise for his behaviour and not repeat it - being stressed at work is no excuse.

If this is him showing you who he really is, please listen.

minieggsqueen · 22/02/2019 02:07

@Justagirlwholovesaboy thank you, I just don't know what to say, I'm laying here next to him in the dark crying. Why am i in this situation at 20 fgs??

Supposed to be starting uni in September (not living in halls, commuting) and he's so unsupportive about it. (He's in his 30's).

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Monty27 · 22/02/2019 02:07

OP your situation is difficult. You need to do something about it. He doesn't sound very nice.
Thanks for the sympathy everyone. Yes deffo an infection I dread dentist but really will call tomorrow. Hope everyone else's pain subsides too.
group hug

minieggsqueen · 22/02/2019 02:09

@Pumpkintopf I agree with you, thank you- I'm going to stand my ground and he has to apologise tomorrow. I feel like I'm constantly apologising him at the moment and always for things he started/I didn't do just to keep the peace.

Got a 2hr car journey with him at 7am tomorrow. Wish me luck. He'll probably act like nothing happened and I'll probably just smile and go along with it as per. I'm so weak.

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minieggsqueen · 22/02/2019 02:10

@Monty27 deffo group hug you get yourself to the dentist tomorrow and by Saturday morn you'll be feeling so much better with those antibiotics kicking in. Good luck! x

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Justagirlwholovesaboy · 22/02/2019 02:10

I can’t help,I could lie and say so. Wish I could. So sorry

minieggsqueen · 22/02/2019 02:12

@Justagirlwholovesaboy it's okay- just knowing people care to listen is enough

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