First post here from a longtime lurker, and sorry it’s another wedding one!!
To try and summarise: DP is from another country. He’s lived in the uk for about 4 years but aside from work colleagues who he doesn’t see outside work, he hasn’t really made any friends here and would still consider his friends the people from his home country he went to uni/school with. I’ve met probably a third of them because most still live in the home country and we only go there once a year or so.
DP and I are engaged. It was very important to him to invite lots of his home friends to the wedding, which at c100/head isn’t cheap (his argument is that in his culture weddings are much larger.) I originally wanted a small, more low key wedding but compromised at 100 guests which is obviously costing a fair bit. We are both saving very hard for it alongside house savings, and my parents have given us about a quarter of the money.
My AIBU is though related to the fact that for the last 2 years as DP’s home friends have been getting married/engaged, I am consistently never invited to the weddings (which invariably take place abroad, as do the stag do’s he goes to, so it ends up costing a lot of money and annual leave. Example: Last summer he had 2 stag dos and 2 weddings abroad in 8 weeks, and we didn’t have any annual leave or cash left for a holiday together until the beginning of this heat. Yesterday it transpired that he’s got another wedding and stag abroad in May/June (around my birthday also!), and I’m not invited to the wedding again! The invites are always addressed just to DP despite the friends being aware that we are a long term couple who live together and are engaged (the couple who have only invited DP this time, are also both invited to our wedding this summer.)
AIBU to feel frustrated and left out? It’s like his home friends still see him as their single mate, and I just don’t get the opportunities to meet them that would presumably make them want to include me... our wedding is costing a lot and it annoys me that we are paying for these friends who have never included me in their invites to DP. He accused me of being petty and ridiculous and said I shouldn’t see it that way. He’s probably right.... I just don’t know. I just feel really irritated at the constant snubs and the fact that I’d never dream of not inviting a long term/fiancé/married plus one with our friends to our wedding, it seems rude. I also really don’t want another year or even more of not being invited while DP uses up his holiday budget and annual leave on weddings without me, and we yet again don’t get a proper holiday together.
AIBU to feel this way?!?
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AIBU?
AIBU to feel left out by DP friends?
75 replies
Melandre · 09/01/2019 09:54
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