To put this on the invitations

[imeatingaburger]

So I'm planning my dd's birthday party soon, where having it in a hall. It's the only hall in our area that is big enough for the party. However they have told us if we want a bouncer castle it has to be a certain heigh because of the ceilings.

So we have hired a lovely little bouncer castle with a ball pit and slide attached to it. It's only small in height as there only 3 years old so they don't need a massive one anyway.

Here's the tricky part, I was talking to my sil who has one child my dd's age and one child who is six. He is very boisterous and just your normal six year old.

I invited her to the birthday party but I said the older one can't go on the bouncey castle because it's only small and it will be full of two-three year olds.

I said I'd put on the invitation, that older brothers and sisters are more than welcome to come and eat the buffet, join in party games etc etc.
Just please understand the bouncey castle is restricted to 2-3 year olds due to the size and of course we don't want any accidents.

She laughed at me and said I'm ridiculous and this won't happen.

Am I being ridiculous to ask this?? I just don't want any children to be hurt or for them not to play on it because the older kids are on it!????

What would you think If you got this invitation. The party is three hours but with a bouncey castle, mascots, a buffet and people coming in doing dancing and games etc etc????

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

Seems like a sensible precaution but you may need to allocate a grown up to enforce it. 3 hours sounds like a long time. Parties for this age near us are usually two hours, and that’s long enough.

[JustMarriedBecca]

I think you'll need to police it but yeah, I'd put it on the invitation so I could warn my eldest in advance that the bouncy castle was for toddlers. Hopefully she'll see when it's there it's a smaller castle and therefore not appropriate for bigger children.

[Whosthebestbabainalltheworld]

I wouldn’t invite 6 year olds to a 3 year olds birthday party. There’s too much of an age gap and is a recipe for either an injury or meltdown. Your SIL should already know this is she’s got one of each age.

[PandaG]

I would police the bouncy castle and have times when littlies are on, and times when older sibs can have a turn - you should have someone monitoring it anyway, as there will be a maximum number of children allowed at one time anyway.

Maybe see if you can borrow a large sand timer from nursery - they are a great visual prompt for how long the children have left before it is someone else's turn

[C0untDucku1a]

The only unreasonable thing is the length of the party. 3 hours?!

[ibblebibbledibble]

Yabu for having a 3 hour party! We’ve had a couple of three hour party invites and always sob a little when I receive them!

[imeatingaburger]

Sorry I've typed that wrong we have rented the venue for three hours 2 hour party 1 hour setting up and cleaning up

[NC4Now]

That sounds reasonable to me. When a big kid is invited to a little kid party they need to understand that it isn’t all about them - better to forewarn than face cross and disappointed six year olds.
Is there something else they can do though? Football or something? Karaoke?

[underneaththeash]

I'd put it on...otherwise older siblings will get disappointed that they can't go on it.

Maybe you could word it better though 'siblings are more than welcome to come along too, but please warm them that the tiny bouncy castle is only for under 3's.'
You'll need someone to stand next to the castle to police it.

[tiggerbounce77]

Could you let the older children use the bouncy castle when you do pass the parcel and any other party games? Although I understand the reasoning it does seem a little mean to say they can't go on it at all

[imeatingaburger]

I'll police it, I don't want to invite the older kids really but IMO the mums have older kids and I've met a few of the older kids and there nice kids and I'd hate to say they couldn't come but it's my dd party and for her and her friends.

What about it I set out a table for them and put like activities for the older kids???

It's to small for the big kids anyway you could only fit like two of them on there

[KinkyAfro]

Can't you tell them not to bring older kids?

[Gemini69]

good luck policing the small bouncy castle from 6 year olds ..... it'll be a nightmare

[mynameismrbloom]

Yes, police it. If possibly have a stranger do it (person who is bringing the castle?) so people are less inclined to argue.

Put a notice on it if you have to! Maybe have a height rule.

[DPotter]

I think you're setting yourself up for some tantruming 6 yr olds.....
I agree with pp that it's a big gap between 2-3 yr olds and 6 yrs olds. They want and need different things from a party.

Unless you have inviting small numbers of both age groups, it will be difficult to control the 6 yr olds - they will need to be given something else to do that will distract them from the bouncy castle. So you'll need someone policing the bouncy castle, someone helping the little ones on and off the bouncy castle, someone offering the distraction activity for the 6 yr olds.
My advice would be NOT to say older sibs are welcome - the age ranges could be larger than 3 yrs and it will be chaos. Keep the party for the little ones only.

[mynameismrbloom]

Oh, and do put it on the invitations ("Please note...") say it is insurance reasons so people know you are serious.

BTW Your SIL sounds awful.

[NC4Now]

How many older ones are you expecting?

Another option is to just name the younger ones on the invite, then if anyone asks, say they can bring the older one but the castle is for under threes.

That will keep the numbers down as people will only bring older ones if they need to.

[SleightOfMind]

Mine are different ages and have all had to learn that some things are appropriate only for older ones, some for younger.
Most parents will get this and actually parent their children. Others will expect you to tell their 6yr olds not to send the little ones flying.

If you go with the castle and older siblings then put the restrictions on the invitation in big letters.
Make sure there’s an assertive adult detailed to police it at all times.

There’s always one (or two) and your Sil has already told you which one she’ll be!

[ittakes2]

I think you are generous inviting old siblings and I agree with letting people know the rules before hand - it will help with some mums deciding not to take boisterous older children plus police their older kids not going on the bouncy castle,

[sothisisspring]

Prepare for tantrums? Really? My 6 year old has a 3 year old brother and knows when we see younger brothers friends he has to behave differently and cant do everything, same as his brother cant do everything when going to places with his friends. Thats life when you have siblings! And yes my 6 year old is very 'boisterous' and loves running around. In general he has poor concentration, and yes he needs reminders to slow down, be gentle etc. Thats my job! Set your age limit and tell parents in advance, have a sign up on the day and police it. Although you shouldn't have to.

[JessicaJonesJacket]

If you're policing the bouncy castle, who is welcoming the guests? looking after the DCs if parents leave them? making sure the food/tables, etc are stocked? I think you need another dedicated adult to police the castle. As host, you'll get drawn away.

[winterisstillcoming]

I don't think you're being unreasonable but you could phrase it as a statement rather than a request so:

"Bouncy castle for under 3s and activities for 3 and over!"

It will be fab.

[Alwayslumpyporridge]

If older dc are being invited then you need have something for them, if bouncy castle is for little ones then something cool for the oldest ones? Or don’t invite them

[Witchend]

Yes, perfectly fair enough.

I had that at dc#3 and I just asked them to stay off and no child or parent complained. There were though only 4 of the older ones (including my 2) in the end, so we did let them have a quick go during the food time.

I'd ask a fellow parent who's assertive if they can police it (say no insurance for under 3s or whatever) as it sounds like your SIL may well be the one to be awkward.

[EWAB]

Just don’t invite the siblings...and reduce the hours. If someone without child care asks if they can bring siblings say yes but stress no castle for them. You don’t want this stress worrying about injuries when you should be enjoying your little one’s party.