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AIBU?

To ask about prison?

160 replies

Peanutbutterjelly1 · 21/04/2018 02:23

Hello everyone.. Just started watching orange is the new black... Me and my husband love it!!!

I've always been pretty fascinated by prison whenever I come into contact with anyone who has been inside I'm immediately interested and always ask what was it like? My own mum was born in Holloway in the 70s as my nan was in there for a string of petty crime.

So my question is have any of you ever been to prison? What did you do? And what was it like?

I know this is a weird question but it's a genuine post. I told my husband the other day that doing time is on my bucket list he thought I was crazy and he is probably right. I think its because prison hasn't changed much in the last 50 years and i am always really interested in anything that has remained the same. I remeber when i started high school it was the same school my dad had attended 25 years before it was the same apart from a few licks of paint he once came to a parents evening and he was pointing to classrooms and certian areas in the corridors and telling stories about his school days i thought it was amazing.

OP posts:
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Peanutbutterjelly1 · 21/04/2018 02:43

P.s it really is not my intention to offend or upset anyone and if this question does then i am really sorry. I do understand that for many that have been to prison it's something they probably want to forget about.

OP posts:
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LolitaLempicka · 21/04/2018 02:56

“Doing time is on my bucket List” maybe get a job? Or a hobby?

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PerspicaciaTick · 21/04/2018 02:57

You might be interested in some of the events being run by this project
echoesofhollowayprison.wordpress.com/

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Aquamarine1029 · 21/04/2018 03:02

I'd hate to see the rest of your bucket list.

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steff13 · 21/04/2018 03:07

There was an elderly lady here in the US so wanted to see what jail was like, so the sheriff let her spend the night in the county jail. It was on the news.

I would imagine if you aren't there for fun, it's not much fun.

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EasterRobin · 21/04/2018 03:21

I wonder if there are volunteering opportunities at a prison near you. Or more formal opportunities like teaching an occasional class, counselling, etc. So you can get involved in a supportive way.

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Awwlookatmybabyspider · 21/04/2018 03:40

Hi Daily Mail. Grin

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harrypotternerd · 21/04/2018 03:41

Going to prison is on your bucket list?

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freeicecream · 21/04/2018 04:04

please for the love of god take it off your bucket list right now

you are fascinated by the perception of being in prison because of how its portrayed on tv - trust me thats not how it really is

theres nothing fascinating about being away from loved ones, being told when to sleep, when to eat and wash.

I really don't want to sound mean but your "i have watched orange is the new black" attitude will get u absolutely destroyed in prison.

I can speak first hand as I have been incarcerated and am still tormented by the experience

If you really want to go to prison then by all means go ahead but it will change u, it will change how others feel about you, it will destroy your life and it will haunt you forever

you will see things u cant un see and them things will never leave u

Its really not the fairytale u think it is, i can go into detail if it you wish but ask anyone who has ever done a stretch and they will tell u the same, you really don't wanna be inside :(

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SuttonHooHoo · 21/04/2018 04:23

I have never been to prison but my brother used to work in one.

The ‘porridge’ type depiction of hours of socialising is a complete myth. In reality nearly all the prisoners’ time is spent in their cells.
Toilets are behind curtains in the corner - so it must be great fun when your cell mate goes for a dump or is sick Envy

Time in places like the gym (if they have one) is a privilege which is earned and will be removed for bad behaviour.

Tiny amounts of money can be earned doing menial tasks which are outsourced by some businesses eg bagging up small items.

I should imagine that the reality of prison is apart from desperately missing your family and friends is that it is really, soul destroyingly depressing, boring and frustrating.

The bucket list thing is insanity. Wanting to visit a prison to see what it is like I can understand. Wanting to do time is just odd.

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MrsDesireeCarthorse · 21/04/2018 04:31

I have taught in several prisons. They are not happy places and women"s prisons in particular are full of people suffering mental illness, lack of education and awful abuse that put them there.

I am not offended but your bucket list idea is so stupid and ignorant, it's hard not to tell you to grow the fuck up.

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Finsmum86 · 21/04/2018 04:32

Irregardless of the crimes that led to incarceration, prison, for many people represents very real times of hardship, tearing apart families, and more than likely negatively affecting any children involved way into adulthood. Its perfectly reasonable to be interested but the tone of this post is inappropriate, in poor taste and screams ignorance.

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MissionItsPossible · 21/04/2018 04:48

Depictions of prison (or anything, really) is glamourised for TV and it can never show the harsh realities faced on a daily basis (I suppose the exception would be a documentary). And what are you talking about prison hasn’t changed in the last 50 years? Of course it has.

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bellabasset · 21/04/2018 04:52

My sister visited someone in prison at a weekend and she said it was haunting to see the separation of children parted from their mothers.Many of the women had committed petty offences through circumstances.

We used to live near Wandsworth Prison and my dh played squash with one of the prison officers. He gave up the job in the end as he found it soul destroying. Several prison warders drank in the local pub and they were a tough bunch. Whenever you see films taken inside the prison the first thing that strikes you is the noise and the lack of light.

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captainjackandjill · 21/04/2018 05:02

I have friends who are guards. One of the inmates' favourite pastimes, due to boredom, is flooding the toilets. And it only takes one to flood out the unit, and keep in mind, while the guards have boots on (still gross), the prisoners do notEnvy

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IamSerena · 21/04/2018 05:36

I agree with @Finsmum86


However I have to say that irregardless is not a word.

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daisychain01 · 21/04/2018 05:40

I told my husband the other day that doing time is on my bucket list he thought I was crazy and he is probably right

What a crass ccomment. It isn't some Experience Day you can buy in WHSmith you know.

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daisychain01 · 21/04/2018 05:41

I think Fins has combined irrespective and regardless to make an interesting new word.

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StripStripHooray · 21/04/2018 06:11

My BIL hung himself in prison, that fun enough for you? Then when incarcerated a little while later, my other BIL was placed in the cell next door to where his brother had died and also tried to kill himself. The ripples and grief are still felt, daily.

There are mental health and addiction problems and not enough guards to be able to keep inmates safe. Dh was offered a job to train as a prison guard. I discouraged him, the average lifespan of a junior prison guard is about two years in the job I'm told as the majority leave due to not being able to handle it.

But yeah, morbid curiosity and funsies, OP. Fucking disgusting attitude to have.

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PurpleNailVarnish · 21/04/2018 06:31

Any prison in the UK has as much in common with the set of Orange Is The New Black as the Real Housewives Of Beverley Hills does to doing the school run at a primary in a neglected area.

Just out of interest, which season are you on? Beyond season 2 of OITNB the plot gets darker. You may not be quite as keen after watching it.

As for a prison stay being on your bucket list? How do you think that would work out for you? To quote Jarvis Cocker 'everybody** hates a tourist'.

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PurpleNailVarnish · 21/04/2018 06:32

Thanks I'm sorry stripstrip

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sashh · 21/04/2018 06:34

Take the advice of freeicecream

Maybe go to you tube and find one of Phil Scraton's talks (or read his books) about women who are incarcerated.

Get a hospital gown, take off the 'ties' and put it on fastened with sellotape. Just the gown, no under wear. Do this on your period and use a single sanitary towel. Not a tampon, not with any pants, try holding it between your legs and lock your self in your bedroom.

You are not allowed up to use the bathroom, have a potty in the corner of your room. Stay thee for 24 hours and remember your bedroom is luxurious compared to a prison cell.

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Logoplanter · 21/04/2018 06:45

I've visited Durham prison on a couple of occasions for work related reasons. They have on display (or had at the time) weapons the prisoners have made from ordinary objects. Toothbrushes rubbed down to sharp points, that type of thing.

I've walked through the wings in a party of 10 or so people and one guard and felt hugely unsafe. All the prisoners watched us, and it was horrible. Looked into the cells, which to be honest were better than my uni accommodation back at the end of the 1990s. Seen some of the programmes they run.

It is an unpleasant place and I didn't breath properly until I left.

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speakout · 21/04/2018 06:48

OP you have a very twisted idea . A " bucket list" FFS.

Prison is horrendous.

Women's prison is full of very young women with troubled past, relying on prostitution and theft to pay for their drugs habits.
Their situation is heartbreaking.

Prison is no laughing matter.

You seem to think it is like Butlins.

You need to grow up.

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Caulk · 21/04/2018 06:52

I used to mentor women in a local prison. Maybe think about doing something like that?

I fear your prison bucket list is similar to children believing if they go into care it’ll be like Tracey beaker - everyone is one sided and dances around with unicorns making rainbows

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