Bride 'Punching above her weight'

[BelfortGabbz]

I'm wondering if anyone has been to a wedding and heard this said in a speech or by the photographer etc.

[Isthisnameacceptable01]

No how awful

[MyBrilliantDisguise]

That would be a terrible thing for someone to say. I know some best men give stupid speeches, but surely they wouldn't say that? And if a photographer said it, the couple shouldn't pay him!

[K9Time]

Omg that’s so rude! Mind you I’ve heard it said the other way round - but that was the groom saying he had done well to get the bride 😁

[HuskyMcClusky]

No! Why would that happen?!

I hate that expression anyway. It just irritates me.

[MyKingdomForBrie]

I can imagine it maybe said ironically?

[ShirleyPhallus]

Yes pretty much every time

I thought it was a pretty standard part of a wedding speech
“Oh the bridesmaids look so beautiful”
“On behalf of MY WIFE ”

Then always something from the best man about how the groom is punching about his weight

[ShirleyPhallus]

Oh so yes, for the groom, not for the bride

[Scabetty]

Awful This gets said to DH about me but men are horrible to each other sometimes. I think it is terrible to say that about anyone.

[LostInLeics]

The last wedding I went to, the groom said in his speech that he knew he was punching above his weight when he started going out with his wife. It came across as self-depreceating and charming, since although she was absolutely stunning and he was quite ordinary looking, he was a lovely guy and they were very well suited to each other.

[user1471517900]

Would have to hear the context. I could imagine it being a joke in the speech (maybe if groom was known for being vain or something).

[Roomofonesown13]

It's interesting how this seems to be accepted if it's said of a man, but not of a woman. I think it's horrible either way round.

[TurnipCake]

No. If I did, I'd think the person saying it is a wanker

[ifcatscouldtalk]

I've heard it the other way round a couple of times. Usually followed by man giving other man a pat on the back for punching above his weight.

[NewYearNewMe18]

I've seen plenty of similar comments on this forum about Chloe Green and 'Hot Felon' Jeremy Meeks - that a bloke as good looking as he wouldn't be going out with some one like her if wasn't for the fact her father is a multi multi millionaire.

So if we are talking aesthetics, she is punching above her weight, but in reality, she just fancies a bit of rough and she'll drop him back into the pond he crawled out of when she's bored with him. So he's punching above his weight as he is no where her social equal.

[CaptainCardamom]

Yes best man said it about the groom at a wedding I went to. I hadn't realised it was the norm, but the groom laughed and seemed happy, though it is rude. (Could be said to be true in this particular case, as the bride is one of the best-looking people I know, but he's attractive too...)

The thing is, rightly or wrongly, in our society women are more valued for their looks and it's generally very rude to insult a woman's looks, much less so than with a man. Female friends do not joke with each other by calling each other ugly, but men do it to their friends a lot.

And if you tell a woman she's punching above her weight she will probably feel very embarrassed and insecure about her partner being better looking, whereas a man is more likely to think "wahey, I pulled a stunner" and be flattered.

It should be equally bad for either but actually I don't think it is. Saying it to/of a woman is much more likely to be taken as very hurtful.

[Somerville]

What's the context OP?

[BelfortGabbz]

Asking because at a recent wedding it was said all day about the groom, as if he was Quasimdo. I felt quite sorry for him, it's his wedding day also and it went too far.

So asked about the Bride to see if it's a one way street.

[EasterBunBun]

In a speech ? About a bride ? Even as a joke I can't imagine that .

[JuniLoolaPalooza]

I've been to a wedding where the bride had clearly fancied the groom for YEARS (they were housemates) and he'd been aware of this. He'd finally given it a go (they lived like an old married couple anyway!) and they'd got together etc. Both his speech and his best man's referred to her 'waiting to get her claws/hooks' into him. It was really gross and unkind.

[shartsi]

Reminds me of when Prince Harry said that when he first saw Meghan, he knew he had to raise his game. Basically anyone not as good looking he would not have bothered.

[EasterBunBun]

Oh, I see, it's one of those questions ffs 🙄

[DarkRoomDarren]

Oooooh yeah, I’ve only ever heard it said about grooms. It’s not very nice is it? But then, I’ve never noticed a groom seeming to mind in particular.

[Somerville]

Ah, okay.
Well said all day about the groom is totally off. I have heard it said self-deprecatingly by various grooms about themselves, or by best men. It never sounds serious.
There is more of a culture of good naturedly taking the piss out of groom but not so of bride, so I don't think it would work well the other way round.

[cathf]

Why is it OK for a groom to be punching above his weight with his choice of bride, but not when a bride with her choice of groom?
Usual double MN standards at play here, coupled with taking offence at a joke.
Honestly, I don't know how some people survive in their day-to-day life.

[CaptainCardamom]

See no one would say it about the bride!

Also though, I don't think they would say it if the groom was REALLY noticeably less attractive, had a facial disfigurement etc. It's only said in a joshing way and the idea is that he'll feel smug and not offended.