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To not know what the fuck I’m doing??

(34 Posts)
Housequeen101 Tue 23-Jan-18 10:32:22

I know iabu but posting here as more traffic!

My little girl is 8 days old, and when we go to bed at 11ish she won’t settle upstairs, last night/ this morning, she was up fussing and crying until 2.30am, I didn’t want her to wake my other dc so I took her downstairs and she slept on me, I’m worried that if I do this too much she won’t sleep any other way?!? I breast feed too but that doesn’t sooth or settle her, we brought a mobile with gentle music and lights, that doesn’t work, tried a dummy that doesn’t work neither does burping or sshhing, Please any advice?

Our other Dc was an angel sleeper so never had this before. Help mums!

CommonGrounds Tue 23-Jan-18 10:34:23

Has she been checked for jaundice? My 2nd was the same and rushed into hospital at 9 days old.

Seeline Tue 23-Jan-18 10:35:10

At 8 days I would expect to be feeding every 1.5-2 hours. It's unlikely she will settle for longer. Where is she sleeping at night? Some little ones don't like the cot - it is too big for them and they don't feel secure. Where does she nap during the day?

Idontdowindows Tue 23-Jan-18 10:35:58

Perhaps she simply needs to sleep near you. Babies have no thoughts beyond their immediate needs, and yours needs mum. My friend had a baby like that and she bought one of those cots that attaches to the side of the bed so she could touch baby and it made breastfeeding at night easier (no getting up to get baby from another room). No danger of rolling on to baby, but baby could smell, feel and hear mum and slept like a log.

The cot was convertible into a normal cot, so after a few months they moved the cot and baby was fine sleeping alone then.

Housequeen101 Tue 23-Jan-18 10:36:03

She did have mild jaundice but when we were discharged Saturday they said it was fine, also saw a health visitor Sunday who just said to keep an eye on it, she’s having wet nappies etc?

Housequeen101 Tue 23-Jan-18 10:37:56

At night she sleeps (meant to sleep😂) in a next to me crib which is attached to the bed. We have a newborn travel cot downstairs that she sleeps in until we go to bed, is it normal for her not to sleep and just fuss for 2+ hours?

Seeline Tue 23-Jan-18 10:39:57

So how long does she sleep for until you go to bed?
Do you wake her to bring her up, or does she wake for a feed?
I would wait for her to wake for a feed, take her up to feed, and then try and settle her. You may get two hours at a time then.

Housequeen101 Tue 23-Jan-18 10:41:38

She wakes for a feed around 9ish then as we’re taking her up to bed she wakes again. I did try that last night but the second I lay her in her crib she goes mad 🙁

TeddyIsaHe Tue 23-Jan-18 10:43:05

It takes some babies a while to switch from sleeping in the day to night. Dd was about 4 weeks when she started properly night sleeping.

Give the fourth trimester a google and it will explain a lot. And give swaddling a go, it sounds like she wants to be close to you so this may help her feel more secure even if she’s not on you.

Seeline Tue 23-Jan-18 10:43:09

Well if she fed at 9, she will be ready for another feed at about 11.
She is still very small - she probably does just want to be held. It won't last for ever.

WeiAnMeokEo Tue 23-Jan-18 10:50:17

My son slept on us for 2 months (reflux). He gradually went longer and longer stretches on his own and now sleeps through just fine at 18 months - she'll learn too, don't stress smile

Housequeen101 Tue 23-Jan-18 10:51:27

We do swaddle but she gets so cross and screams till we undo it. Will have a look the fourth trimester thank you. Yes so I feed her at 11, she fusses and won’t go back to sleep, I’m sure it’s just because she’s so little, thanks

Housequeen101 Tue 23-Jan-18 10:52:17

WeiAnMeokEo Did you find it hard going from him sleeping in you to sleeping on his own?

Rikalaily Tue 23-Jan-18 11:03:07

Try a fleece blanket as a sheet. If the cot is cold against her head she's not going to like it, I found fleece warms up alot quicker than cotton and helps give them a little extra warmth in the colder months.

MrsPepperpot79 Tue 23-Jan-18 11:07:07

Mine was v clingy - the next to you cot was good but hard and cold. I put a big sheepskin on it and my stinky old fleece dressing gown - and bingo, much happier. Stills sleeps on it now (2 yrs...)

Neolara Tue 23-Jan-18 11:08:25

I'd say this was completely normal behaviour from an 8 day old baby and you've just been very, very lucky in the past. Sorry. In my experience, it really didn't matter what I did with my very tiny babies, they just slept when they wanted and were awake when they wanted. The only thing that worked to improve their sleep patterns was the passage of time and them getting older. Was grim, so you have my deepest sympathy. And congratulations.

ForgivenessIsDivine Tue 23-Jan-18 11:09:13

Took weeks for all three of mine to get days and nights switched round. They would be sleep like angels in the noise and general goings on of the household all day then be awake all night. We used to pace the lounge in circles dancing with DS1, sit in the rocking chair for hours with DS2 but in the bedroom on the off chance that if he did go to sleep we could put him down. It did get better but keeping them awake during the day and keeping them in the dark during the night.

ILikeYouToo Tue 23-Jan-18 11:12:58

I had two of these babies! Turned out they had silent reflux so worth bearing in mind. But if it's just that particular bit of the night maybe it's colic? My second also had that and until 3 months old would cry solidly from 7/8pm to midnight. Nothing other than breastfeeding would soothe him and even then it didn't really help. With my third I spent a lot of time sleeping very carefully upright, holding him. Was the only way for me to get any sleep. He 18m now and sleeps in a cot no problem so I wouldn't worry about creating a rod for your own back. She's tiny and you do what you need to do to get through the night! Good luck...

Emmasmum2013 Tue 23-Jan-18 11:29:34

She's still so young so I would just say do whatever she needs to do until you can try and get her to start sleeping at specific times.
I remember mine just wanted to sleep all day and be awake all night at that age. Then she started sleeping for 2 hours and being awake for 2 hours and then after another week or so she'll start being more wakeful in the day time and less at night. You've just got to try and keep them entertained as much as you can in the day and get as much milk into them as you can in the day. Otherwise they're bound to wake up hungry in the night.

mumof06darlings Tue 23-Jan-18 11:43:06

Try putting a t-shirt or jumper that you were wearing around the mattress of her cot. She will get your scent from it and will think she is sleeping on/near you. It worked for me 👍

Prusik Tue 23-Jan-18 11:47:04

Congratulations on the birth of your baby!

I'm finding that Ds (7 days old) will wake for a feed every single time I put him down from about 11pm-3am. After that I'm able to get him to sleep snuggled next to me. I just feed, put down, pick up, feed, put down, etc. Until finally I put him down and he doesn't wake. He then sleeps for a couple of hours.

I'm not sure anything is working but then I'm just taking it day by day and waiting to see what happens. I guess eventually he'll sleep longer

Dishwashersaurous Tue 23-Jan-18 11:55:22

This is normal. Your previous experience is atypical. I know it's difficult but really it is a phase for the next couple of months. Just let baby do what it wants and try and sleep in the day as much as you can

FartsMeanHearts Tue 23-Jan-18 12:00:29

DS slept on my chest pretty much till he was 6 months old!

Choccyhobnob Tue 23-Jan-18 12:02:48

Sounds normal to me! My DS wouldn't sleep anywhere but on me/snuggled into the crook of my arm for the first year then in my bed next to me for the next 6 months, finally at 2 he is happy(ish) sleeping alone. I don't think there is necessarily anything to worry about.

DrRanjsRightEyebrow Tue 23-Jan-18 12:05:22

Totally normal. She has no concept of day or night and will want a feed every two to three hours and a cycle of activity, sleepiness etc around that. I would not expect a baby that age to be happy to be out down to sleep with no physical contact either. They exist but they are rare! For several months at least she is likely going to want to be on you constantly when sleeping. It's normal and you need to find ways to safely accomodate this and ensure you get enough rest, eg co-sleeping safely, doing shifts with DH, napping in the day. Rod for your own back talk is pure bollocks and shpuld be ignored!

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