To not know what the fuck I’m doing??

[Housequeen101]

I know iabu but posting here as more traffic!

My little girl is 8 days old, and when we go to bed at 11ish she won’t settle upstairs, last night/ this morning, she was up fussing and crying until 2.30am, I didn’t want her to wake my other dc so I took her downstairs and she slept on me, I’m worried that if I do this too much she won’t sleep any other way?!? I breast feed too but that doesn’t sooth or settle her, we brought a mobile with gentle music and lights, that doesn’t work, tried a dummy that doesn’t work neither does burping or sshhing, Please any advice?

Our other Dc was an angel sleeper so never had this before. Help mums!

[Loyaultemelie]

Yes dd1 was a preemie and when she got home slept like an angel, dd2 on the other hand was and still is (at 2.10) a co-sleeper as it's the only way on earth anyone in the house world was going to get any sleep. We had a nexttome crib and tried using things with my scent but in the end Co sleeping was our answer.

[Allthewaves]

This is how I ended up co-sleeping and dh sleeping downstairs.

[Biddie191]

I used to put a warm hot water bottle in the cot while I was feeding then remove it before putting DD1 back in - that way it was warm to put her down on the cot sheet, so she wouldn't wake at the sudden change in temperature between me and the cot.
At that age she could be going through a growth spurt too - mine all fed constantly for a few days at a week - 10 days ish - exhausting, but it will improve. Good luck, well done, and hope you get some rest soon!

[PercyPigAddict]

for you OP, there is nothing like a broekn night's sleep to make you feel like a zombie! Definitely look into safe co-sleeping eg in a bed, not on a sofa.

Also, what helped me was to think about why my baby was like this - from an evolutionary point of view it makes total sense that a baby will sleep quite happily on a person, but raise merry hell if you dare to place them down in a cot - for all they know they've just been left outside a cave, vulnerable to sabre-toothed tigers... no wonder they cry, it's self-preservation! (Doesn't make it any easier though...)

[diddl]

I was in hospital about 5 days with my 2nd-she spent most of the nights sleeping on me-was the only way to keep her quiet!

[DrRanjsRightEyebrow]

And get a good sling, like a stretchy wrap. That and safe co-sleeping will save your sanity.

[Kintan]

I think you were just incredibly lucky first time around! Sounds like perfectly normal behaviour for a days old baby - they have no idea about day and night yet, and need frequent feeding. Google the fourth trimester, it makes loads of sense and really helped me understand what was going on in the first few months.

[kezsha]

She did have mild jaundice but when we were discharged Saturday they said it was fine

Did they do blood tests to check the jaundice ? My DD was slightly yellow at 5 days old, MW said not to worry, didn't look too bad but had to do blood test anyway (standard policy for unit). She ended up in hospital having phototherapy as levels were high. Can't always tell just by colour.

[Coastalcommand]

Have you thought about safe co-sleeping? Saved my sanity!

[DrRanjsRightEyebrow]

Totally normal. She has no concept of day or night and will want a feed every two to three hours and a cycle of activity, sleepiness etc around that. I would not expect a baby that age to be happy to be out down to sleep with no physical contact either. They exist but they are rare! For several months at least she is likely going to want to be on you constantly when sleeping. It's normal and you need to find ways to safely accomodate this and ensure you get enough rest, eg co-sleeping safely, doing shifts with DH, napping in the day. Rod for your own back talk is pure bollocks and shpuld be ignored!

[Choccyhobnob]

Sounds normal to me! My DS wouldn't sleep anywhere but on me/snuggled into the crook of my arm for the first year then in my bed next to me for the next 6 months, finally at 2 he is happy(ish) sleeping alone. I don't think there is necessarily anything to worry about.

[FartsMeanHearts]

DS slept on my chest pretty much till he was 6 months old!

[Dishwashersaurous]

This is normal. Your previous experience is atypical. I know it's difficult but really it is a phase for the next couple of months. Just let baby do what it wants and try and sleep in the day as much as you can

[Prusik]

Congratulations on the birth of your baby!

I'm finding that Ds (7 days old) will wake for a feed every single time I put him down from about 11pm-3am. After that I'm able to get him to sleep snuggled next to me. I just feed, put down, pick up, feed, put down, etc. Until finally I put him down and he doesn't wake. He then sleeps for a couple of hours.

I'm not sure anything is working but then I'm just taking it day by day and waiting to see what happens. I guess eventually he'll sleep longer

[mumof06darlings]

Try putting a t-shirt or jumper that you were wearing around the mattress of her cot. She will get your scent from it and will think she is sleeping on/near you. It worked for me 👍

[Emmasmum2013]

She's still so young so I would just say do whatever she needs to do until you can try and get her to start sleeping at specific times.
I remember mine just wanted to sleep all day and be awake all night at that age. Then she started sleeping for 2 hours and being awake for 2 hours and then after another week or so she'll start being more wakeful in the day time and less at night. You've just got to try and keep them entertained as much as you can in the day and get as much milk into them as you can in the day. Otherwise they're bound to wake up hungry in the night.

[ILikeYouToo]

I had two of these babies! Turned out they had silent reflux so worth bearing in mind. But if it's just that particular bit of the night maybe it's colic? My second also had that and until 3 months old would cry solidly from 7/8pm to midnight. Nothing other than breastfeeding would soothe him and even then it didn't really help. With my third I spent a lot of time sleeping very carefully upright, holding him. Was the only way for me to get any sleep. He 18m now and sleeps in a cot no problem so I wouldn't worry about creating a rod for your own back. She's tiny and you do what you need to do to get through the night! Good luck...

[ForgivenessIsDivine]

Took weeks for all three of mine to get days and nights switched round. They would be sleep like angels in the noise and general goings on of the household all day then be awake all night. We used to pace the lounge in circles dancing with DS1, sit in the rocking chair for hours with DS2 but in the bedroom on the off chance that if he did go to sleep we could put him down. It did get better but keeping them awake during the day and keeping them in the dark during the night.

[Neolara]

I'd say this was completely normal behaviour from an 8 day old baby and you've just been very, very lucky in the past. Sorry. In my experience, it really didn't matter what I did with my very tiny babies, they just slept when they wanted and were awake when they wanted. The only thing that worked to improve their sleep patterns was the passage of time and them getting older. Was grim, so you have my deepest sympathy. And congratulations.

[MrsPepperpot79]

Mine was v clingy - the next to you cot was good but hard and cold. I put a big sheepskin on it and my stinky old fleece dressing gown - and bingo, much happier. Stills sleeps on it now (2 yrs...)

[Rikalaily]

Try a fleece blanket as a sheet. If the cot is cold against her head she's not going to like it, I found fleece warms up alot quicker than cotton and helps give them a little extra warmth in the colder months.

[Housequeen101]

WeiAnMeokEo Did you find it hard going from him sleeping in you to sleeping on his own?

[Housequeen101]

We do swaddle but she gets so cross and screams till we undo it. Will have a look the fourth trimester thank you. Yes so I feed her at 11, she fusses and won’t go back to sleep, I’m sure it’s just because she’s so little, thanks

[WeiAnMeokEo]

My son slept on us for 2 months (reflux). He gradually went longer and longer stretches on his own and now sleeps through just fine at 18 months - she'll learn too, don't stress :)

[Seeline]

Well if she fed at 9, she will be ready for another feed at about 11.
She is still very small - she probably does just want to be held. It won't last for ever.