My dh and I have three kids. Two have autism. I’ve not worked in 6 years because of this. My youngest also only goes to school for two hours a day. My dh has a decent job. Previously all spare money including any DLA went into my dh’s savings account. I asked that it be split between both of our savings accounts but he never got round to it (very finance savvy but badly organised). So I diverted all DLA and my carers to my personal account and put into my savings account. I update our spreadsheet monthly. But my dh isn’t happy I don’t let him go through my accounts. I also have £2k my parents gave me. Our marriage isn’t on the rocks but I’m aware I’m financially vulnerable. If things did go wrong he’d still have a job whereas I’m financially dependent on him. Am I wrong not to let him go through my accounts? The money goes to the kids therapy. I don’t go out or spend on anything really. But I suppose I know if we did split he’d be quite difficult (when this comes up about my savings account he reminds me he put in the 13k deposit for our first house- he’d lived at home and I’d gone to uni. But my parents did pay two lots of legal fees amounting over house moves to about half). He’s not financially abusive but this seems to be an issue for him. I suppose it sounds like I’m being secretive but in my mind the money isn’t mine and financially I’m vulnerable. I don’t think we’ll split up but I know that marriages where there are children with disabilities can break up.
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Am I being too secretive or should he trust me? Money.
64 replies
KateGrey · 13/01/2018 14:10
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