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Gym bastards

(321 Posts)
Nettletheelf Tue 05-Dec-17 23:22:24

Am I being unreasonable in being annoyed with tw@ts at the gym? Am I?

1. Bodypump.

Selfish equipment-hogging woman. Class usually full. This woman arrives half an hour early and sets up a bench for herself with two - TWO! - bars, several of every type of weight disc, a pair of every type of dumb bell and TWO mats.

Means that other class members are short of weights, because she has provided herself with every permutation she might possibly need, although she doesn’t use half of them. When they aren’t enough bars to go around, she stays quiet and waits to be asked to relinquish one of hers, at which point she pulls a face and reluctantly yields the minimum amount of equipment.

She seems unembarrassed by this. Apparently she ‘needs’ two bars so that she can swap over during one of the tracks in case she gets a bit tired. So everybody else can feck off.

2. Spinning.

Bike hogging bastards saving bikes for themselves and their friends, even when they aren’t sure that the friends will be turning up.

People arriving just before the start of the class have to run the gauntlet - you sign up for the class in advance, so there are theoretically enough bikes - trying to get on a bike with a jacket draped over it whilst somebody snaps, “my friend is on there!”.

Naturally, the friend never turns up and you end up either missing the start of the class or putting up with being scowled at for taking your booked place.

3. Body attack

Home of the show offs who try to put in extra big jumps and other athletic moves into the routine. No matter how many times the poor instructor says, “don’t put a big jump in here, the routine is designed like this for a reason. No big jumps!”, they still insist on doing them. Just so everybody knows they are really fit and the routine is too easy for them, being virtually professional athletes and all.

Is it just me? Share your stories of gym idiocy. Also your advice on dealing with the equipment hoggers.

thebeerfear Tue 05-Dec-17 23:37:44

Bicep curls in the squat rack.

Or any exercise really THAT ISN'T A FUCKING SQUAT!!!!


Frederickvonhefferneffer Tue 05-Dec-17 23:40:41

Run around outside! Climb trees. Swim!

HRpodperson Tue 05-Dec-17 23:44:05

Muscleheads who scowl at you for using the weights/resistance equipment, because clearly they should be more entitled to it because they are big muscly men.

Nearly told one to fuck off last week. Wish I had.

Thing is, I am always courteous, I time my rest intervals on my PTHub app (so I'm not just pissing about), I never take free weights I don't need - it's like I am annoying them just because I am there working out on whatever they want to use at that given moment. Winds me up to no end.

Nettletheelf Tue 05-Dec-17 23:47:20

I do run around outside, Frederick, but I also do things in the gym!

Yes to the grumpy muscleheads. In my gym they leave their stupid weightlifting belts on the pull up machine then look away when you ask who it belongs to. Then pounce when you dare to move it so that you can use the machine.

dorislessingscat Tue 05-Dec-17 23:50:48


I am guessing you live somewhere generally bastardy and selfish because you won't see any of that kind of behaviour in my happy friendly country bumpkin part of the world.

BitOutOfPractice Tue 05-Dec-17 23:51:13

People running on what is quite clearly my treadmill wink

I barely go into the free weights section. I can't cope with all the muscleheads (who drop the weights until the floor shakes) or the packs of teenage lads in canvas pumps.

The woman who uses the squeeze in and our keg machine <technical term> backwards. Ie she doesn't sit on the seat that's helpfully been provided to, you know, sit on. She sort of squats, facing the seat. WTAF is that about?

Pippioddstocking Tue 05-Dec-17 23:51:24

I will add people who sweat all over the equipment and don't wipe it down afterwards ! Absolutely disgusting .

Ps Frederick , I also do lots of running outside . No tree climbing though

BitOutOfPractice Tue 05-Dec-17 23:52:25

Sorry, the technical term is "squeezy in and out leg machine"

Just testing you!

MsMarvel Tue 05-Dec-17 23:53:23

The people who decide to interuot you and give you 'advice'

Like the guy who stoooed me in the middle of a weights session to suggest yoga to me, because thats obviously the place I shoukd be as a delicate female, and was clearly lost in the free weights area...

MsMarvel Tue 05-Dec-17 23:53:34


CheeriosEverywhere Tue 05-Dec-17 23:54:50

I think you just need to be more assertive. People treat you as you let them.
The spinning women, if they say "my friend is on there" you say "is she invisible? It looks empty to me" and hop right on it. People showing off and lepping about, well so what? Doesn't affect you, you just get on with yourself.

HermionesRightHook Tue 05-Dec-17 23:59:38

Ugh. I hate weights areas full stop, people are always looking at me like I shouldn't be there because I'm not at all slim. How do you think I got thighs like this, Mr. Muscles? Beer and bloody leg presses!

And no funnily enough I can't press as much as you because I am a short woman. I should still get to have my turn though!

cocoboots Wed 06-Dec-17 00:11:42

In my kettlebells classes there's always women who arrive 30 mins (or more) early,claim their spot at the front by placing 4 different weighted kettlebells and a mat down, reserving a spot for their friend and then buggering off until the class starts. When all 12 of us are in the class, (small studio) people never have he right weight or kettlebell they need as Mrs Selfish and her friend have 8 kettles between them and a huge space for their workout while we are all crammed at the back with the wrong weights.

Also get lots of young women hogging the mat area in the main gym and taking selfies rather than actually using the equipment which infuriates me as it means I end up in a corner blocking other people's equipment sometimes.

MajorMam Wed 06-Dec-17 00:14:03

OMG the sweat. Especially men (and it's always men), whose heads are soaking with it, using equipment with head supports envy <not envy.

The ones who stand next to the equipment, staring pointedly, obviously waiting to get on something I'm on. Fuck off and do something else until I've finished!

Ollivander84 Wed 06-Dec-17 00:17:40

Weights area angry
Leg press loaded with plates totalling 200kg. I couldn't unload them as not allowed to lift more than 10kg and they were 20kg plates

The helpful guy "you should lift heavier for better results". Thanks for that, I just had 5 hours of spinal surgery so I'll stick to my rehab for now

Assisted pull up machine. Guy weighs down the knee pad with plates to keep it out the way then does normal pull ups. Great way to break the machine

Ollivander84 Wed 06-Dec-17 00:18:46

Oh and leaning on stuff while not actually using it. One guy caught me on a very bad day when I asked him if he was squatting or texting. My PT referred to me as "slightly terrifying" that day blush

sailorcherries Wed 06-Dec-17 00:20:49

Our gym labelling the squat rack the max rack. Now everyone is in there curling, benching, shoulder pressing and rowing. Fuck off and do that elsewhere. I can only squat in there.
The overly athletic man who does gymnastics type body weight exercises. Fuck off with your extraordinary workouts as everyone stares at you, wasting more time than necessary.

Frillyhorseyknickers Wed 06-Dec-17 00:30:22

People doing activities on the prowler lane. It is not a free space for skipping in or doing sits ups when all the mats are taken. It's the prowler lane, for the prowler, so if you are in my way, I'll just prowl you over, you dozy fucker.

TheMaddHugger Wed 06-Dec-17 04:16:58

Frillyhorseyknickers I had to google Prowler lane and this came up

Newmanwannabe Wed 06-Dec-17 05:03:12

Sounds like the trainers need to be pulling up these people. You wouldn't get away with that shit where I go. My trainers are sweary tell you how it is kind of people.

Joey7t8 Wed 06-Dec-17 05:39:05

Anything but squats in the squat rack annoys me, but particularly curls and shrugs.

HuskyMcClusky Wed 06-Dec-17 05:46:11

😂 Body Pump woman needs to be put in her place.

NOBODY needs two bars, ffs - you use one bar and change weights mid-track, if you have to! As for two mats...hmm Why??

See also: pumpers who turn up late and dump their bench 20 cm from you in a half-empty room, because it’s ‘their spot’. Feck orf!!

HuskyMcClusky Wed 06-Dec-17 05:48:26

Also: the people who place their bags and iPhones on the floor next to them during a crowded group exercise class.

Don’t hold me liable if I accidentally step on it. There are a load of empty cubbyholes right next to you.

Ilovetolurk Wed 06-Dec-17 05:55:22

YANBU re weights/bars

YABVU re body attack. Some of us are just fitter than you, sorry

And it’s not like les mills instructors are fully qualified physios are they, half the ones I know are just teachers in their spare time

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