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AIBU?

Am I just being overly sensitive?

82 replies

MilsCookie · 02/12/2017 21:51

Will try and keep this short. Old friend from school (who I’ve seen maybe 3/4 times in the last 4 years as she has been living in another country) messaged me last night to say she was visiting the city where I live to see another friend, but could she stay with me as the other friend was staying in a hotel. She apologised for the late notice etc. I said yes that would be fine, even though I’m having an incredibly busy weekend and wouldn’t be home today until 7pm and then have to leave early on Sunday (tomorrow) morning. It would be her and her husband staying.

Anyway. I haven’t heard much from her all day today. Then, about an hour ago, I heard awful cat fighting noises outside, I panic, call my cat in and she doesn’t come. Five minutes later she comes dragging herself through the cat flap, limping quite a bit and looked in a bad way. (She is asleep right now but I am keeping a close eye on her and will take her to an emergency vet if I think she’s in pain) this has obviously not been nice to see and I’m worried about her, so I text my friend saying that, actually, tonight wasn’t a great night to stay over, explained about what had just happened to my cat, said there’s so much going on this weekend for me and I would rather she came down another weekend when we had actually planned it and could spend some time together. She replied SUCH a blunt text something along the lines of ‘Ok. Have a good night’ - AIBU to be pissed off by the way she is acting towards me?? I have barely spoken to her in the last few months, then out of the blue I get a text asking if she can basically use my flat as a hotel, and then when I say its not a good time she has the cheek to have an attitude with me?? I forgot to mention that she will be able to get home via train to her own home, yes it will take longer than if she’d stayed with me but its still doable. I do feel a bit bad that I said she could stay and then said she couldn’t, but given the circumstances I thought she’d be a bit more understanding. She didn’t say anything about my cat in her reply- no ‘hope she’s ok’ or anything. AIBU?! I feel like I probably am

OP posts:

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RJnomore1 · 02/12/2017 21:52

Sorry I'm not clear - was she supppsed to stay tonight?

mincebloodypiesagain · 02/12/2017 21:54

you wouldn't have been unreasonable to have said no in the first place but having said yes it is a bit unreasonable to backtrack

but you had good reason

hope puss is ok.

JustHereForThePooStories · 02/12/2017 21:54

I think you’re unreasonable to cancel at such short notice.

If you were bothered by her asking in the first place, you should have said no when she asked.

19lottie82 · 02/12/2017 21:55

So she’s supposed to be staying tonight and you text her an hour ago saying she can’t stay because your cat has been in a fight? YABU.

Tobuyornot99 · 02/12/2017 21:55

If you've told her she can stay tonight, then at almost 22.00 said she can't because your cat has been in a fight then you are definitely BU.

MilsCookie · 02/12/2017 21:55

She text me last night asking if her and her husband could stay at mine as it was easier than getting the train back to theirs. I said yes even though it was very late notice. I haven’t seen in her months so it’s not like a close friend - would have to do hosting/make conversation with her husband etc any other time I’d be a bit more up for it but it’s the fact I’ve got a busy weekend myself and it was such late notice

OP posts:

Dermymc · 02/12/2017 21:55

Was she supposed to stay tonight?

If so you have been incredibly unreasonable.

MilsCookie · 02/12/2017 21:56

She can easily get a train home.

OP posts:

Casmama · 02/12/2017 21:56

I think she was being pretty self-centred and it was a quick stroppy response.
I would see how she reacts next and make a judgement on that- if she texts tomorrow to check how things are then I would probably overlook it but if she doesn’t contact you then I would reconsider the friendship.

Iloveanimals · 02/12/2017 21:56

As a massive animal lover (I have seven) I understand where you're coming from...however you are a bit unreasonable to cancel at such short notice if she was supposed to be staying tonight. Hope cat gets better

19lottie82 · 02/12/2017 21:57

Well if that’s the case then you should have said no at the time rather than cancelling with almost no notice! Again, YABU.

TowerRavenSeven · 02/12/2017 21:57

I think you are being a bit U since you said yes in the first place. I agree she's kind of using you like a hotel but you agreed to it.

AbsentmindedWoman · 02/12/2017 21:57

If you agreed they could stay tonight, and are cancelling at 10pm that's pretty unreasonable!

Because your cat was in a fight? What?

bimbobaggins · 02/12/2017 21:58

Exactly as others have said, you should have said in the first place it wasn’t suitable which it doesn’t sound like it was and I would be pissed off if someone I’d arranged to stay with cancelled at such short notice.
Don’t be surprised if the friendship disappears completely now

Dermymc · 02/12/2017 21:58

Would a train home cut her night short?

You sound vv flaky. I'm you cancelled at such short notice.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 02/12/2017 21:58

Yabu to cancel at such short notice for such a weird reason. SWBU to ask to stay over in these circumstances.

guestofclanmackenzie · 02/12/2017 21:58

I also think you are unreasonable to let your friend down at such short notice. You haven't felt it necessary to take your cat to the vets (yet) and are just keeping an eye on her so why couldnt you stick to your plans instead of letting her down?

I think you're lucky to get the reply you got, to be honest.

Having said all that, hope your cat is ok.

SpottyGecko · 02/12/2017 21:58

YABU to change your mind at such short notice.

Oysterbabe · 02/12/2017 21:59

You should have said no if it was inconvenient. Yabu to say yes then no because your cat had a fight FFS.

Herewegoagain01 · 02/12/2017 21:59

Honestly yes I think you were unreasonable. You cancelled really late leaving her having to find somewhere else to sleep. I hope your cat is ok.

19lottie82 · 02/12/2017 21:59

Casmama I think it’s the OP who should be getting in touch, not the other way around. To cancel in such short notice is really poor. If I were her friend I would be very pissed off.

I’m sorry but cats get in fights all the time, unless puss is on deaths door, it’s not a reason to cancel.

EmmaC78 · 02/12/2017 21:59

I agree you are very unreasonable to cancel at such short notice. If you did not want her to stay you should have told her yesterday so she could have made other arrangements.

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steff13 · 02/12/2017 21:59

If it was late notice and you have a busy weekend, you should have said no. Canceling at the last minute is unreasonable.

MaidOfStars · 02/12/2017 22:00

I think you are unreasonable for cancelling at such late notice.

MilsCookie · 02/12/2017 22:00

Yes my cat was in a fight and she’s really not well. She can’t walk on her back two legs properly. She is asleep next to me right now so I am monitoring her closely. I am seriously contemplating taking her to the emergency vet. The last thing I want to do is host a couple who have barely had anything to do with me in the last few months - I am just worried about my cat.

I also said in my message to her (at 8:30) that she could still stay if it was going to be a huge problem for them to get the train home, but that it wasn’t a good time. I didn’t say that she couldn’t stay. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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