Would you go to this wedding?

[RedHareWithBlondeHair]

This isn't like the bridezilla-type wedding dramas you regularly see here. But the long and short of it is basically my ex partner to whom I was engaged to for a long time is getting married next month. I have already accepted the invite. She/they wanted a 'winter' wedding.
We ended acrimoniously and though things are civil now I sometimes have doubts about his motivation for inviting me.

Would you go?

He still accuses me of walking out on him and not trying to make it work. I don't know her at all. I thought I could be civil but somehow I doubt his intentions and I don't know what if anything she thinks of me.

[gabsdot]

Definitely not. It's weird that they invited you imo.

[greendale17]

Why would you want to go to an ex partners wedding?

[StickThatInYourPipe]

Why did he invite you? Like hell would I want my ex dp anywhere near my wedding and we ended on relatively good grounds

[PurpleDaisies]

Why do you think they invited you? I wouldn’t go, although it’s tricky since you’ve said yes.

[MyBrilliantDisguise]

Don't you have a prior engagement that weekend? Send a card wish her luck with him and leave it at that.

[LineysRum]

No, I wouldn't go. I'd send apologies asap, saying I can no longer attend. All sounds a bit stressy and potentially odd.

[Ausparent]

I would rather eat my own face TBH.

Sounds absolutely awful.

[MissConductUS]

I'd rather not. It's more than a bit odd. Perhaps they were hoping that you'll just send a check.

[FelixCited]

Would I go? Definitely not!

[MadisonAvenue]

No way would I be going! How odd that he/they invited you, and that he's getting married but is still accusing you of not trying to make things work between you.

I wish his future wife a lot of luck!

[BenLui]

I wouldn’t have accepted it in the first place if it was an acrimonious split.

It’s a bit odd for them to invite you in the first place, and you accepting was also odd.

I wouldn’t go if my presence was likely to cause drama, gossip among the other guests or upset to the bride or groom.

If you are going to drop out you’ll need to do it ASAP otherwise they will be out of pocket.

Can you make up a reasonable sounding excuse about an unforeseen work trip? Then send them a nice but modest gift.

[WishUponAStar88]

Do you have children? If so I could see the benefit of your being there for your children’s benefit, if not it’s a little odd! Tricky to get out of it now you’ve accepted though.

[RedHareWithBlondeHair]

I accepted invite late last year.

Only now I'm sort of thinking why would I go. It wouldn't look out of the blue because exP and I still have quite a few mutual friends.

I don't really want to go.

[Justbookedasummmerholiday]

Wouldn't think it very fair to the bride tbh.

[hellsbellsmelons]

WTAF??? - no way on this planet.

[Zebra31]

I would not go. I would send a note declining invite but thanking them for the invite.

[BenLui]

Then immediately send a brief note politely apologising that you can no long attend and wishing them a wonderful day.

[milliemolliemou]

Don't go? as PPs have said, make up an excuse and send a smal present.

[RedHareWithBlondeHair]

WishUponAStar88 No dc. Nothing. We had bought a flat together years ago and managed to get shot of it earlier last year.

We are by all accounts still friends iyswim. But something just isn't adding up.

[WineAndTiramisu]

That's odd, and I certainly wouldn't go!

[Jux]

If you don't want to then don't. TBH, he will probably have too much on his mind on the actual day for shenanigans.

[RedHareWithBlondeHair]

Ok. What sort of present then? A card? A voucher?

What do I even say? Because to be frank, I'd tell her to run for the fucking hills!

[KarmaStar]

Sounds to me like he hasn't let go of you yet.is he still angry so he wants to say"you walked away but I've moved on I don't need you"?I'd be very wary and send a card saying you can't make it,sorry,and its best you have no further contact.

[SleepingStandingUp]

Have you ever met her? Because if not you're not really friends.

I had a short lived relationahip- nnothinglike this, not even had sex - and people thought it was weird him coming to my wedding reception. But we WERE friends, the gap had been longer and DH had met him. But it was still questionable for alto of people

[Slightlyperturbedowlagain]

No I would not go, definitely not. And I would just send a nice card, not a present. It sounds to me like it's a 'look what you're missing out on' invite.