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Mothers little fib

(68 Posts)
Blankuser1992 Thu 02-Nov-17 08:40:27

Sorry for the click bait title guys but you know how it is!


So bit of a back story so get your snacks!! – I like cherry coke-

So I have recently moved out of my parents’ house after a brief three month stay due to moving to the other side of the country.

Could not at the time live with boyfriend in his flat due to renovations being done etc

So fast forward the three months to moving in with boyfriend and all happy families.

NOW, I had asked my mother if I had any mail come to her house to please just drop me a text and ill come get it (sounds reasonable enough right?)

I also advised her that I would be changing my address after October because the role I’m starting in November has her address while it goes through referencing.

Just to reiterate –

She knew I would come get the post

She knew the role I’m getting requires
myself to be referenced through her house etc

I was going to change living address with the bank after October passed

SHE AGREED TO ALL OF THIS – before someone says its her right to decline, she said it would be fine

TODAY – I go into my local shop and pick up some food for the weekend and go to check out to not only have my card declined but to get a good telling off from the shop assistant because they were busy.

Que be being mortified and confused because I KNEW I had money in that account, so I go home and go through the banks automated not helpful service to find out that my mail had been returned to sender!!

The bank said that my account wouldn’t be activated for at least 48 hours!

I have multiple things on tonight and tomorrow that require me to draw out money.

Partner is putting up the rest but I’m so annoyed at my mother for just sending it back without a second thought of how it might affect her daughter, I get if she had said no in the first instance that she did not want post coming to her house but she didn’t and now I’m scrambeling to just get stuff in order.

I know worse things happen in the world but I don’t think im unreasonable to think that if someone says they are going to do something..they do it?

MamaOfTwos Thu 02-Nov-17 08:41:38

What a bellend. You need to just get your post redirected straight away

TheWhyteRoseShallRiseAgain Thu 02-Nov-17 08:43:05

Where does this leave you with the mob?

TheWhyteRoseShallRiseAgain Thu 02-Nov-17 08:43:31

Argh job

DeadGood Thu 02-Nov-17 08:52:47

Have you spoken to her and asked why she did it?

Blankuser1992 Thu 02-Nov-17 08:53:18

I have asked the bank to redirect my mail asap

Blankuser1992 Thu 02-Nov-17 08:53:50

She advises she hasn't done this, but the bank have said it was definitely sent back from my previous address -shrugs-

Blankuser1992 Thu 02-Nov-17 08:54:44


Hopefully no dead horse in my bed

Well I have emailed them asking that any documents please be sent to my new address etc and I just hope they aren't like " oh now we need this this this"

gamerchick Thu 02-Nov-17 08:55:10

Have you asked her why and told her what it did?

It’s just odd to agree then do that, are you sure it was her? confused

Fishface77 Thu 02-Nov-17 08:55:14

Sounds like she's deliberately sabotaged you for some reason.

BertrandRussell Thu 02-Nov-17 08:57:05

She said she didn't do it? Could it have been delivered to the wrong house by mistake?

And the person in the shop telling you off? Sod that-complain.

Blankuser1992 Thu 02-Nov-17 08:57:59

I have told her that my card was declined but I have a feeling if I push it anymore she will pull out the "I'm not in the mood for this"

Our relationship isn't the best but it's also not the worst, we're quite different in regards to opinions

I guess I just shouldn't trust my mother with my mail

BertrandRussell Thu 02-Nov-17 08:58:46

"Sounds like she's deliberately sabotaged you for some reason."

Or possibly someone's made some sort of mistake?

What did she say when you asked her about it?

Blankuser1992 Thu 02-Nov-17 08:59:24

Thing is the people who live next door to her all knew me etc as her daughter and we share the same last name so if they got the mail .. I mean it's possible but they are nice old people ( old as in 80s im not being cheeky)

BertrandRussell Thu 02-Nov-17 08:59:48

"I have told her that my card was declined but I have a feeling if I push it anymore she will pull out the "I'm not in the mood for this""

So you haven't actually asked her.

Blankuser1992 Thu 02-Nov-17 09:02:45

Not directly no, but I also don't want to come at it where I'm burning bridges over post

TheDodgyEnd Thu 02-Nov-17 09:04:39

It doesn’t sound like you’ve actually brought this up properly, as in you haven’t asked ‘why did you return my post to sender instead of letting me know it was there so I could come and pick it up?’

Or have you asked her directly and that’s when she “advised she hadn’t done it”?

Sorry if I’ve missed something

TheDodgyEnd Thu 02-Nov-17 09:05:45

Sorry x post. Would asking your mum about post really burn bridges, though? Sounds like you can’t talk to her at all without her getting irate

BertrandRussell Thu 02-Nov-17 09:06:55

So if you haven't asked her, you don't know what happened. Why on earth would you jump to the conclusion that she sent it back? What about other mail?

BertrandRussell Thu 02-Nov-17 09:08:34

"Not directly no, but I also don't want to come at it where I'm burning bridges over post"

Why not? If she's deliberately sabotaging you then the bridges are surely burnt already.

knobblykneesandturnedouttoes Thu 02-Nov-17 09:08:38

Don't know if you need any cash but you can just take your cards, chequebook, and ID to the bank and you'll be able to get cash over the counter. I did when my card was suspended.

What your mother did was mean. Could she really no find anywhere to keep your mail? I'm pretty sure most parents would just keep it until you next saw them.

TeenTimesTwo Thu 02-Nov-17 09:09:33

Can't help with the major issue, but can you pay for a post office redirect for a year? That way you are registered at your Mum's address but the post will make its way to you. You can gradually inform organisations of your new address as and when. Least trouble all ways round.

Blankuser1992 Thu 02-Nov-17 09:09:42

In a way I can't talk to her without her blowing up so it's more like stepping on egg shells.

I asked " question did you return to sender any of my mail"

And she has responded " no, posted two letters two you since you've moved and got nothing else"


I can't prove that she is or isn't lying

And if I probe more I know it's going to be a fight.

I think I should probably suck it up and just come to the conclusion it's a mystery-rolls eyes-

But I will be on the look out for .. other similar behaviour.

Mumsnet is always a great place and makes me feel like I'm not going absolutely mental

knobblykneesandturnedouttoes Thu 02-Nov-17 09:09:53

If you haven't asked her then you're getting upset over something that may not have happened.

yorkshireyummymummy Thu 02-Nov-17 09:10:50

I think you need to be direct with her and ask her very calmly if she did it.
Be direct and don't shilly shally about.
It could have been next door, it could be a bank mistake.
But you are already thinking it's her so it's only fair to ask her.
I find it interesting that you have mentally found her guilty without asking her- does she have previous in bad behaviour towards you?

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