I live 2.3-3 hours away from my (and my DHs) home town, and have a 11 month old baby. I don't drive but DH drives us down often to see family and friends. We have grown a bit tired of having to go so often as baby doesn't enjoy the journey and it's all a bit stressful. We have 2 spare rooms and plenty to room for visitors, so we have been trying to encourage peo people to come here if poss. Baby is a good sleeper and doesn't keep guests awake.
I have a v close group of friends who all live in hometown. None of them have children. I had an argument with one friend in the group earlier in the year because she thought I was being difficult about meeting up and she said I had told them they all had to come to see us here (when actually I had just said we were travelling to hometown the weekend before so it would be easier for us not to have to do it 2 weekends in a row, but that we would also be happy to come down to them).
Side note: DS is nearly 1 and only half of the group have visited us once since baby arrived.
Me and the group of friends had put aside next weekend to see each other months ago, but no one had mentioned it since or said what or where. It's now emerged that there was a convo about what we would do (which I wasn't included in) and plans were made in hometown. Nothing was mentioned to me at all. I hadn't asked them to come here due to the aforementioned argument and I didn't want to be told I was demanding they come here again.
We are travelling to hometown this weekend for 3 big family events, and DS has this week decided he hates being in his car seat and cries pretty much the whole journey. I don't want him to have to do it 2 weekends in a row (nearly 3 hr journey on Sat and again going back on Sun).
Today is 1st time it is mentioned that (they thought) we were going to them. Then when I said I didn't know I was supposed to be coming down to them, and that DS hated traveling at the mo, they said that I did know because we had made plans to do thing X in hometown. I wasn't involved in the convo re that plan and have searched the group chat to make sure I didn't miss something.
London is equidistant for everyone and easy to get to, so I don't see why the assumption is that I will always go to them.
I'm also pregnant so feeling sick and shattered and have just started back at work. I feel like they really don't appreciate how difficult and tiring it is to travel down all the time with a little one. I know I have chosen to live away from hometown - but I feel like it shouldn't just be assumed that I will kart my whole family around (and the cot and all that other crap) because it suits them. AIBU?
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AIBU?
To be annoyed at the assumption we always travel to them
68 replies
thiskittenbarks · 27/10/2017 12:10
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