To distance myself from this friend...

[Dancingfairy]

I will quickly start by saying I am a single parent on benefits and dla and carers allowance for daughter. My friend seems to hate people on benefits and is generally quite vocal about it but seems to have got worse. On the weekend I was at her house and she showed me her pay slip and how much she is taxed and said "you can see why I'm annoyed" and that she "basically pays for me" and how she is "only" £400 a month better of by working. She also agrees with the child tax credit cap (which effects me) and doesn't think any one should get it at all and instead "forced abortions" aibu in thinking 2 very different people can't be friends and to distance myself from her?

[Peachyking000]

She sounds nasty - none of us know when we could end up relying on benefits.

[MoiraRosesMeltdown]

YANBU She sounds judgemental and insensitive

[Coffeeisnecessary]

I would definitely distance myself! She sounds horrendous!

[BASTARDdryer]

LTB

[RobotGoat]

She said all this to you knowing that you're on benefits? She actually said that she pays for you? YADNBU. Who needs people like that in their life?

[Dancingfairy]

When I pointed out her taxes go to loads of things including the elderly etc she said she doesn't mind as you don't chose to get old but chose to have kids. (These comments came after I joined a debate group on Facebook and said I might leave as there views are too extreme as they share these views that's when she said all this stuff however over the years she's always made her dislike of people on benefits clear)

[ChicRock]

I don't really understand what either of you get from this friendship?

At the very least she doesn't like you or your life choices/circumstances much, she sounds quite unpleasant to be around.

Why do you bother?

[dunraven]

Does she receive Child Tax Credits and Child Benefit? Call her a hypocrite if she does.

[Dancingfairy]

It's basically one of them been friends since you were children friendships but we've gone on to lead very different lives. She sees my life and sees that I'm struggling and that (don't get maintenance but that's a different story).

[ChicRock]

I think it's time to call it a day on this one.

[Dustbunny1900]

I wouldn't get too high n might if I were her, life has a way of biting the judgmental in the ass.
Get away from this bitter poison fool!

[expatinscotland]

Just cut her off. She's vile. I didn't think the CTC cap applied to those on CA. Or third pregnancies that turn out to be multiples.

[coffeekittens]

She sounds fucking foul. Lets hope that she never loses her job/partner, has her ability to work affected by sickness/disability, has a disabled child, has to flee domestic violence... the list goes on.

Get rid OP, tbh I'm gobsmacked that she actually has friends in the first place.

[guilty100]

Wow, she's no friend of yours, OP. Those opinions are vile, and to voice them to your face is awful.

[Dancingfairy]

I guess she wouldn't be friends with me if we met as adults (her wage has recently gone up so now she "only" receives child benefit I had to listen to more of her rantings when that happened!)

[SecretEscapesWannabe]

Yes, cut her off.

Her opinions are poisonous and you don't need that type of toxicity in your life. I'd tell her why also.

[BenLui]

I pay huge amounts of tax and am quite happy if some of that is put to helping people who need it as well as to schools, hospitals etc.

I don’t receive any benefits at all but life can change extremely quickly- it’s good that we have a welfare state that supports those in need.

You friend is rude and wrong. I would walk away.

(What kind of person waves a payslip in their friend’s face )

[littlebird77]

In a word yes you need to chalk this one up to experience.

Nothing you can do with such a rude and insensitive friend. No need for grand explanations or a possible confrontation just cut her off.

[misshelena]

You should cut each other off instead of torturing each other. Neither of you is right or wrong, you just are on different ends of the political spectrum. Though she is definitely rude.

[CatsOclock]

I would ask myself how I want to feel in my life, eg relaxed, happy etc. Then ask, do I feel like that when I'm with her? (I'd guess, no.) Then look for those times when I do feel like that and head towards those.

[SecretEscapesWannabe]

Ben I once gave a colleague a severe dressing down for doing the same to his PA. He was saying; ''Look how much tax I pay' to her when she was a single mum and waspaid far less than what he 'lost' in tax.

Somewhat satisfactorily about 2months later he was fired for expenses fiddling........ included in that was when he asked the same PA to give him her receipts for coffee she bought for herself at Costa so he could claim them back o expenses while keeping the money for himself.

I honestly would never have believed such people existed... he took the biscuit.

[LoislovesStewie]

Time to move on from this toxic person; your self esteem will disappear and you will be severely depressed. I always hold on to the thought that when working we are 3 pay slips from ruin. . Anything can happen to cause financial problems; divorce;illness, bad luck; whatever.Then who has to claim benefits? Tell her you aren't going to contact her anymore and why and just delete her from your life. Find other ,nicer people.

[suzy2b]

i am on benefits my self but if you are on benefits why are you having more children,and i think it's a good idea not getting more money for having loads of kids as some people do

[SunSeaAndSangria]

What a nasty person, yanbu for ditching her. Carers allowance is a paltry £62.10 a week, peanuts compared to the work involved in 24hr care. You can turn it on it's head and say you are saving the treasury a fortune by caring for your DC. Full time social care costs upwards of £200,000 a year for a disabled child.

[DPotter]

May have missed it susy2b , but can't see where OP says she's expecting another child ?