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AIBU?

call from social services

65 replies

tattyrose567 · 20/09/2017 14:08

Had a call from social services out of the blue saying they had an annon tip off my daughter was being neglected not fed and that I was abusing drugs and alcohol! My daughter is my world im a single mum but i make sure she has everything ...designer clothes house full of toys ,she does dance classes three times a week and soft play- resturant trips libary visits ect I haven't even been out alone once since she's been born and I wouldn't know where to by drugs if I tried .I do have the occasional glass of wine but who doesn't ?? Why would someone do something like this!! they said they are taking it as malicious after me bringing her up to see them but I have suspicions it's my father as we fell out and he's not been allowed to see her . how can I prevent it from happening again or find out who did it ?

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2014newme · 20/09/2017 14:10

You can't.
It will take them no time to figure out there is no issue.
Nb kids don't need designer clothes

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OurMiracle1106 · 20/09/2017 14:11

You can't is the answer. However if it happens regularly and there is no cause for concern there won't be any follow ups unless a concern was to come in from elsewhere.

Social services are used to dealing with vindictive fathers/mother/grandparents etc and if there really is nothing to be concerned about like you've said they will treat it as malicious and nothing will come of it.

Flowers

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SirWibbles209 · 20/09/2017 14:11

Sounds like malicious allegations, I'd invite them to come see your home and they will write it off as unfounded. Some people can be so nasty!

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BarbarianMum · 20/09/2017 14:12

You can't I'm afraid. Try not to let it get to you. These sort of things happen quite often, ss will have come across it many times before. Hopefully if the person who did it sees nothing happened and gets no reaction from you, they won't try again. If you really think it might be your dad that's really awful Flowers

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DancesWithOtters · 20/09/2017 14:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anatidae · 20/09/2017 14:15

You can't. You cooperate fully with SS, allow them to visit if they want. They will be able to see easily if it's a malicious report.

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SWtobe · 20/09/2017 14:17

You need to let them visit think to assess you and see there is no problems then they will go on their way again. Don't worry about it and just engage with them, it will make it a lot easier for everyone all round.

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tattyrose567 · 20/09/2017 14:20

I said i respect that this person wanted to remain annon so not asking them to tell me who it was ,but just if it was not a man so I could then eliminate my father they wouldnt which puts me in a horrible position .the details that were given no one else knows as we are in a new area and no one knows our address apart from family ?

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tattyrose567 · 20/09/2017 14:22

Dance they were told she has no clothes and toys thats why I mentioned that

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LagunaBubbles · 20/09/2017 14:28

You cant stop it happening Im afraid. Looks like someone has it in for you. SS will soon see its malicious. Not sure what the designer clothes point was either though, you could just as easily said she does have clothes.

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Starlight2345 · 20/09/2017 14:28

Unfortunately for you they do have to investigate.

Sadly with SS resources so limited it not only wastes your time but also takes resources from children with real needs.

I think you have to move on at this point, It will be logged so next time that will also show up as malicious ( if indeed there is a next time)

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mummmy2017 · 20/09/2017 14:30

Let them come, your best defense is being open, and letting them see so sod is out to cause trouble, you can then take the person who visits name and number, and just call them if this happens again, and they won't bother.

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MoosicalDaisy · 20/09/2017 14:33

If she has everything, there's nothing to worry abut honestly, they have to follow all 'tip-offs' up. So be happy and smiley and say they can come around whenever they like. Nothing to worry about. :)

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tattyrose567 · 20/09/2017 14:34

Because I'm proud she has those clothes and I work hard to give them to her I don't judge people who don't think designer clothes are important and people probably think I'm silly for buying them. probably am but I'm just trying to make a point that not only does she very much have clothes she had lots of very expensive ones which is why the aligation she has none is so silly

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2014newme · 20/09/2017 14:35

Social services do tare about designer clothes and neither should you what a waste of money!

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2littlemoos · 20/09/2017 14:35

I'd send a casual "accidental" message to father and say that SS called you etc. That some twisted individual is abusing the system with false allegations which does nothing for those poor children who are actually abused and neglected. These things happen in real life and to claim false allegations is absolutely appaling and the lowest of the low. Something along those lines.

Then I'd send another text to say that wasn't meant for him.

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Witchend · 20/09/2017 14:38

neglected not fed and that I was abusing drugs and alcohol! My daughter is my world im a single mum but i make sure she has everything ...designer clothes house full of toys ,she does dance classes three times a week and soft play- resturant trips libary visits ect

Thing is though that the latter doesn't meant the former isn't also happening. So let them come round and see and work out for themselves that it's malicious.

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Theimpossiblegirl · 20/09/2017 14:39

There's not a lot you can do about malicious allegations, sadly, but ss will know if everything its fine so please try not to worry.

Could you casually mention it to anOther family member so it gets back to your dad that wasting ss time is an offence? It's probably not but might stop him in his tracks if it is him.

The posters picking on the designer clothes comment, have a word with yourselves, you're just picking for the sake of it.

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LIZS · 20/09/2017 14:43

Unfortunately material things are often compensating for or at the expense of more fundamental care. If you have nothing to hide let them visit. They won't disclose their source though.

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MatildaTheCat · 20/09/2017 14:44

Invite them to your home and they will see that all is well. They don't take time wasters that well so will quickly sign you off unless there's is more to it such as an abusive relationship.

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Palace2 · 20/09/2017 14:48

It seems odd that they phoned you. Surely they would have come out in person for an allegation like that, after all, anyone who got a call like that would say the same as you, they would want to see for themselves wouldn't they? Are you sure it wasn't a malicious phone call? It sounds odd to me

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stopfuckingshoutingatme · 20/09/2017 14:48

who or where might this have come from OP? Its worth having a think who this kight have come from and if they are malicious, or genuine

if its malicious you have an enemy, and its worth figuring out who it is and fucking them over

if its a genuine concern, its worth understanding why they thought this

I agree that SS are not stupid and wont take your child for nothing, so try and stay calm

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MimsyFluff · 20/09/2017 14:49

I was a child in expensive clothes and did after school activities we had no food and skipped meals it's good they are following it up just think of that poor kids that everything other than a meal

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PlatformNineAndThreeQuarters · 20/09/2017 14:50

wasting ss time is an offence?

Never heard that before, has there ever been a prosecution?

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Sooooooooooooooooooooo · 20/09/2017 14:51

Designer clothes doesn't mean a child is looked after, it's irrelevant.

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