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To think this is bad hosting?

(79 Posts)
hibbledobble Tue 30-May-17 11:42:18

Is this off? I think it is but wondered general mn opinion. Another thread reminded me of this.

We went to an engagement party where we didn't know any other guests as a family (2 adults and 2 children ). It was a picnic in the park. I cooked a big dish and planned to share it.

We offered to share with other guests, this was turned down by them. Tried to socialise but other guests were rather icy. Host did not introduce us to anyone, nor offer us any food or drink. Our offer to share food was turned down. There was not one bit of food or drink on offer for guests.

We just ate our own food, and wondered why we didn't go to our local park to do it, rather than travel for a complete lack of hosting.

Our eldest daughter wanted to play with a balloon that was out and was told not to by the host too.

Overall we felt very unwelcome.

Aibu to think that if you host a party then you should at least provide some food or drink, and introduce guests?

BandeauSally Tue 30-May-17 11:45:07

Wow I've never heard of any kid of party where food or drink wasn't provided! I wonder did they deliberately choose a picnic in the hope that everyone would just bring their own food and drink? They sound really stingey.

Shoxfordian Tue 30-May-17 11:46:38

Yeah that sounds like a rubbish party. Don't bother going to the wedding

Anothernewnn Tue 30-May-17 11:46:43

What's your relation to the people hosting it? Sounds very odd

QuinoaKeen Tue 30-May-17 11:47:05

Yanbu. That sounds really miserable.

FakePlasticTeaLeaves Tue 30-May-17 11:52:01

This is terrible hosting, YANBU. If you are invited to the wedding I would question going; I wouldn't want a repeat of this treatment!

As a side note: what was your dish? I feel hungry.

hibbledobble Tue 30-May-17 11:55:00

The bride to be was a friend of my husband's.

I made a large frittata. It tasted pretty good, though no one was would have known.

I brought enough food and drink for us but expected to at least share.

MatildaTheCat Tue 30-May-17 11:58:39

Were you definitely invited? I'm just wondering if the bride to be mentioned she was having an engagement party in the park at X place and your dh mistakenly thought you were invited clutching at straws.

If you were definitely invited they were really rude and I would absolutely not go to the wedding. I hope you didn't buy them a gift?

ladymariner Tue 30-May-17 12:01:32

At least this pita has spared you the hassle of the wedding....can you imagine what that would be like??? Bet you'll still receive a poem in the invite though ...such a shame you'll be washing your hair that day!!

hibbledobble Tue 30-May-17 12:01:37

It was a Facebook invite, so yes we were definitely invited. The wording of the invite said to bring food and drink, so maybe we should have anticipated this.

We didn't buy a gift (didn't think you were expected for engagements: we didn't receive any)

MusicToMyEars800 Tue 30-May-17 12:02:21

That sounds awful and a very uncomfortable situation for you to be in, I would've left early with the delicious frittata. I wouldn't go to the wedding either if you've been invited that is?

Anothernewnn Tue 30-May-17 12:02:40

Ah the dreaded fab invite. That explains a lot

Loopytiles Tue 30-May-17 12:02:44

Were DC invited?

Minniemagoo Tue 30-May-17 12:05:12

Were your children actually invited? To me sounds like not if they had a problem with your DD playing with the balloon.
What did everyone do? Just stand around with no food/drink?

Refilona Tue 30-May-17 12:05:14

How bloody rude. Don't go to the wedding and no, why would you give them an engagement present? And then a wedding present too?! They seem stingy and awful.

FrenchMartiniTime Tue 30-May-17 12:05:55

So everybody was just standing in the middle of a park not eating or drinking?

What did your DH make of it?

Very strange!

MikeUniformMike Tue 30-May-17 12:06:25

It is bad hosting. Unfriend them.

hibbledobble Tue 30-May-17 12:07:18

It was a Facebook invite and the children aren't on Facebook. As it was during the day and in a park I assumed it would be fine. No mention not to bring kids. There were other kids there. I wonder now if we committed some sort of faux pas unwittingly, but I don't think we did!

No wedding invite thus far! Maybe we aren't invited.

Pinkheart5917 Tue 30-May-17 12:07:54

If you don't provide a glass of drink & at least a few nibbles it's not a party and your hosting nothing!

We're your dc invited? You didn't just turn up with 2 uninvited dc did you?

I think some people genuinely don't know how to host or what to do and I think the "let's have an engagement party in a park" thing probably made a few people unsure of how to interact with the other "guests"

hibbledobble Tue 30-May-17 12:09:18

People just sat down and ate their own food, and drank their own drinks.

Dh thought it was off too.

lanouvelleheloise Tue 30-May-17 12:09:42

It sounds like there was maybe a bit of a misunderstanding about whether this was a kind of communal deal or everyone bringing their own individual food. Which happens, and is forgiveable. The icy behaviour and offishness isn't, though.

It sounds like the tightest and most rubbish way of having a party! At least provide some booze!

BandeauSally Tue 30-May-17 12:12:43

It all sounds very odd. I agree with pinkheart, some people have no idea how to host and think it's fine to just say "come to this place where we will also be" grin

A day time picnic party in a park is an odd kind of engagement party, particularly if they didn't want kids there. But to not have any food or drink there is really bad. It's not a party really, it's just "we're going to the park if you fancy meeting us there, we bought an expensive ring and want to show it off" grin

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Tue 30-May-17 12:15:35

That sounds horrible.

What is it with people not introducing others anymore? Where I come from and definitely at work it's basic stuff: Sally do you know Tim? Tim this is Sally, she also has children in year 2. Sally, Tim has two girls.

I'd not be rushing to buy a hat.

Maudlinmaud Tue 30-May-17 12:15:48

We have bbqs in our local park. Everyone brings food and it's either cooked there or laid out for everyone to enjoy. Everyone brings food and drink to share. What you experienced doesn't sound good.

Anothernewnn Tue 30-May-17 12:17:15

How well does your dh know the btb? It actually sounds as though there might have been a mix up with invites. That said they still sound bloody rude!

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