Aibu?
Bit of backstory. Have a toddler, 18 months or so. She's gorgeous. We live somewhere with no garden up a flight of stairs, so it's a struggle getting in/out up/down a flight of stairs with pushchair and baby bags and toddler and the bloody sink etc..
partner works away quite a lot, so I'm here a lot of the time on my own, and I don't have any friends or family in the area, and I find it hard to make any because I fear they'll want to come back here and I'm so ashamed of this house. Been trying to get partner to move for months if not years but no luck.
So when it's a rainy day like today, we're stuck inside this bloody tiny house, only the living room to play in. Can't ever have water play or messy play as all carpet and old type furniture. Unless I go to the park everyday she hasn't got anywhere to run around, but she's SUCH an active child. We've had to stop some baby classes because she won't sit still and join in, she just runs riot.
The lovely mums at a toddler group we go to last Tuesday made sure I sat down and told me to rest because she's "such a busy baby" and she never stops, I'm honestly exhausted
She sleeps well at night, is a delightful child really but I'm finding this situation exhausting. It's the calling her name constantly saying come back, back into this tiny living room. Im not even sure if it's being a mum I don't enjoy, or if I'd enjoy it living somewhere else.
I feel like I'm stunting her development by cramping her in a tiny house when we're at home, putting the tv on to keep her still in 1 place for 10 minutes, or not having little friends of hers round. I don't know. I just needed somewhere to write this all down, I take her out daily to the park or baby group most days, but when it rains like today I'm just at a loss as what to do. Feel so bad for her
I sometimes feel I'd be happier just at work, or sometimes just want an hour to myself to read Facebook or just have a cup of tea. I think I'm all babied out, after 18 months with no time away from her except some driving lessons maybe that would help?
Sorry for the pity party, like I said, just needed to confess the awful fact that I'm not enjoying motherhood at the moment and I feel such awful guilt for that
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AIBU?
Just need to let it out, I dont enjoy being a mum :(
65 replies
31weeksgone · 15/05/2017 14:00
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