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If you could......

(55 Posts)
ifyoucould Tue 21-Mar-17 12:54:02

If you could change anything about your life right now what would it be and why?

Or if you had your life over again, knowing what you did now, what would you do differently?

Me, I would not be with my partner. He is a lovely man and wonderful father but I can honestly say I have never been in love with him.

LoudestRoar Tue 21-Mar-17 12:55:50

To not be so shouty. I really yelled at ds last night over something really stupid, and I still feel guilty this morning.
Although, this is probably tied in with my anxiety disorder, so maybe my answer should be to not have anxiety any more, because it's fucking exhausting.....

Eatingcheeseontoast Tue 21-Mar-17 12:55:57

I'd not have encouraged my DH to leave the job he hated but would have told him to stick it out till he found new one.

FreakinScaryCaaw Tue 21-Mar-17 12:58:37

I'm not sure I would? I've made mistakes and should have studied more but I'm pretty content.

You can change your situation. I was there once and left exdh. We're still close as friends but he was always more like a brother anyway. Miracle see got two dcs!

I hope you make good choices for yourself.

FreakinScaryCaaw Tue 21-Mar-17 13:01:33

Loudest I've done that. It's good dcs know people shout imo. I always apologised. I don't shout anymore as dcs are teens. To be fair I didn't much before. The threat of turning off electricity was enough. Although you do have to actually do this at least once so they know it's not an idle threat grin

FreakinScaryCaaw Tue 21-Mar-17 13:02:16

I meant I always apologised if I went ott.

TheInterruptingSheep Tue 21-Mar-17 13:03:58

A few things, but the main ones would be I would definitively have focussed more when I was leaving school about what I wanted to do next, rather than stick my head in the sand and just plump for the easiest options. I've spent 20 odd years drifting around in dead end jobs and would love to be able to go back to college but can't afford to.

I would also have passed my driving test when I had the chance. Not being able to drive is hugely limiting where I live, but again there is no way I can afford lessons and running a car now.

dailydance Tue 21-Mar-17 13:05:45

To have studied interior design

Mulberry72 Tue 21-Mar-17 13:06:16

I'd have my health back and go back to work.

LoudestRoar Tue 21-Mar-17 13:06:34

Thanks FreakinScaryCaaw I did apologise to ds last night, and have love bombed him this morning!

limon Tue 21-Mar-17 13:07:10

Not to have to work full time. I would also have had children much younger.

Leavemealonepls Tue 21-Mar-17 13:08:18

I would save, not spend. I don't buy expensive things and don't have debt but I'd like to have money put aside for emergencies and also be able to travel more.

EdmundCleverClogs Tue 21-Mar-17 13:08:29

I had a choice in my very early 20s, to stay or walk away from a difficult situation. I chose (was guilted) to stay and it has had serious personal repercussions. I wish I could go back and say 'run for the hills, they don't deserve you staying, you've a much happier life ahead'. I will regret that decision until my last breath. I wasted my chance of enjoying my youth, a chance at having a career, to save money, get a decent degree, to forget responsibility just for a little longer. I love my partner and child, but I will not have any freedom to be 'myself' for a very long time.

Oh well, I've learned to appreciate what I have and if I hadn't chosen that path I wouldn't be who I am today, or have the wonderful family that I do.

theflickyones Tue 21-Mar-17 13:12:00

I would have stood up to my workplace bully, running away from the situation has left me with even less confidence/employment prospects.

Eminybob Tue 21-Mar-17 13:13:11

I would have worked harder at school, I was clever but lazy and left school half way through my A levels with only a handful of GCSEs to my name.
I could have gone to uni and done something I love for a living, instead of being stuck in a job that I hate.

Although if I had I would have never met my DH and had my DS.

What I would like to change right now is my weight. I'm really unhappy in my own skin but just can't seem to muster up the energy to do anything about it. I know I can do something about it but it's just so hard.

theshitcollector Tue 21-Mar-17 13:19:29

In general I'd have been much more honest with myself and everyone around me about what I really wanted to do to make myself happy, and not pretended to want what was expected of me/what others wanted me to be.

In practical terms this would have meant having more fun in my younger days and worrying less about being the perfect pupil/daughter/sister, looking for a career that matched my personality and interests rather than the image of me that I knew pleased my family, standing up to people who were taking advantage of me and being confident enough to truly believe that I was a worthwhile person without having to put everyone else first.

Nowadays this translates in to trying to say 'no' more often when I'm asked/expected to take in jobs that other people can't be bothered to do and to be less self conscious if I want to do something that gives me joy. Far harder to do that it is to write!

JungleInTheRumble Tue 21-Mar-17 13:20:36

The only things I want to change are things that can't be changed by my actions. I'm very happy where I am. It's not perfect but I'm not a "grass is greener" person and I'm very content with my lot.

You don't have to stay with your partner if you don't love him.

user1482079332 Tue 21-Mar-17 13:22:08

Stood up for myself, not followed the crowd as much, had my baby younger and passed my driving test sooner.

But now after all those experiences I don't need others approval and have my own hobbies and interests although to others they may be boring I don't care, I've made similar minded friends. Although I don't have the energy of my early 20s I'm a lot more mature and better equipped to have a child. Passing my driving test would have been better younger but I've got it done so happy days.

I'm not one for thinking I should have or could have, instead I like to toot my own horn and be my own biggest cheer leader.

misscph1973 Tue 21-Mar-17 13:22:37

I often think I would have not married DH. It's not that I don't love him, it's just that it's been bloody hard! We have had so many ups and downs, and it's been very draining. Having said that, we are both hard work, so he might very well say exactly the same about me.

But if I had not married him, I think I would have been single. And because I had not married, I would not be happy single, I would be really sad that I wasn't married. But because I am married, I often wish I was single, IYSWIM.

And of course then we would not have had DC.

So with the kind of person I was and am now, I don't think I would (could!) have done anything different.

Gatehouse77 Tue 21-Mar-17 13:25:21

I would pursue a career in psychology; criminal, child or forensic.
Or be a stunt driver!

Gileswithachainsaw Tue 21-Mar-17 13:27:01

I'd go back to school but a different school. One where perhaps I'd be encouraged to work harder instead of being made to feel I was a nuisance fir even daring to speak to the teacher. And perhaps then I'd have finished just a levels cos a class of 5 wouldn't be an excuse for the teacher to fuck off fir the entire lesson.

Maybe I'd have had more confidence in my abilities and therefore myself then ajd been able to feel worthy of more than stupid dead end jobs.

I'd perhaps have taken less crap from.men too.

JustBeingJobless Tue 21-Mar-17 13:27:27

I don't think I'd change anything about my past as it's made me the person I am, and if I'd made different choices, I might not have my ds etc.

The one thing I wish I could change but can't is my health situation as I'm at the very end of my tether and can't accept that I might be like this for the rest of my life.

onceuponateatime Tue 21-Mar-17 13:35:51

A bit cryptic but I would have stayed in a certain job instead of resigning. This job would have been a life long career and they only recruit every couple of years and when I've applied since when they are recruiting I've not got the job.
I left for a temporary 12 month position on double the pay which I absolutely hated and left after 12 weeks. I'm now completely unsatisfied with every job I've had since and it plays on my mind every single day.

onceuponateatime Tue 21-Mar-17 13:38:28

Everything else in life I can chalk down to making me better, stronger, bigger, e.g. Bad relationships, bad purchases, debt, friendship issues, family problems, but losing out on a job which in hindsight I loved was a ridiculous life choice.

Chrisinthemorning Tue 21-Mar-17 14:00:50

I wish I had studied a different subject, maybe law. I find Dentistry too stressful these days.
I wish I had had another baby while I was younger. We're sticking at one now.

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